All right, so we are in the third chapter of this Titus 10, third of the stones, as I like to call it. And this question of identity is something that I've spent a tremendous amount of time on. When I was preparing to write my book, I probably spent more time on this subject than probably any other in preparation for that. And because I believe that identity is probably, for men especially, one of the greatest reasons why men get frustrated, men get bored, is because when they get outside of their identity, they don't know what to do. So for example, he used the example in the book I thought was really interesting of the guy that lost his job. You remember that? And he talked about the fact he lost his job and he just didn't know what to do with himself because that was his identity. His identity was what he did. Now that was really his assignment. We're going to talk about that next week. But the truth of the matter is that men very often, probably too often, find their worth in their jobs and in what they do. And now what's weird is, there's this counterbalance on this because it is important that you enjoy what you're doing, that you see yourself as being what you are as far as an employer, employee, whatever. The way you identify is really important. When I first met Joe, this is really interesting. When I first met Joe, this is really cool, I was thinking about this. Joe and I met, you probably don't remember, but we met on Tuesday morning about a month ago when you first came, remember? And you came up and you and I sat right over there together. I don't know if you recall that, but... I did. Okay, good. And one of the first things I asked you was, you know, what's your name? Right? So you immediately said... Joe. Joe, right? And so, because that's your name. Everybody, you've got that. That's not a problem. Okay, really, really not. And then the second thing I asked you was, what do you do? It's like the logical thing. You ask somebody, you just meet somebody, you know, first grade. And it was interesting because Joe did not tell me about necessarily, you know, this employment thing or whatever. He told me about the fact that he had been into lifting and he had been into, right? Yeah. He had been into, um, you know, bodybuilding and, you know, that was a big part of what he... And it was obvious to me, and this is not a negative thing, by the way, this is a positive thing, you identified in that manner. Then he said something which was really interesting. He says, but, and it was interesting because he said, but, and I pay attention, when men say, but, God says, but, anybody says, but, I pay very close attention to what's coming after that. He said, but, I'm struggling right now with my memory. And I'm struggling with the idea that this is gonna be a big deal. And he told me immediately what he was doing with this crazy diet that he's on. It's the craziest diet. If you wanna talk about a crazy diet, talk to this boy about his diet. It's really interesting. But he said to me, he said, I'm really doing this because I'm hoping that it will you know, help me get through this problem that I'm having with my memory. Do you remember any of it? Yeah. Oh, this is great. This is awesome. It's working. It is working. So my point in all of this is that when we met, we got to know each other this much. I mean, really. I mean, it was superficial, let's be honest. I mean, how much can you learn from somebody in five minutes, right? But at the end of the day, he identified as a person that fitness and health was extremely important to him. Would you agree with that? It's what you're all about at the end of the day. And that is not an unhealthy thing. That's my point. There's nothing unhealthy about that. says that the American doctor hasn't seen this, and so on, so young. Young is 58. And I just, health is my life now. Before, it was because I wanted to get on stage and be a pro bodybuilder. Now, it's to try to change and save my life. So coming in here, you guys have been feeding my soul. And I come in here, a new person, and everybody's so nice and grateful that I'm here. And I'm overwhelmed. I mean, to me, that's what it's all about, right? I mean, this is crazy. Identity is so important because if you have a positive identity, which is what I was trying to develop there, if you have a positive identity, it can impact everything in your life and usually in a very positive way. I am, as you all know, a guy that enjoys playing golf. I never consider myself a golfer. I don't consider myself a golfer. There's a difference. There's a difference between a golfer and someone who enjoys playing golf. I can't compete with the boys on tour, or even the girls on tour, or anybody else that does this at a high level. I can't. But I still enjoy it. The one thing that I have learned over time is that most Unprofessional golfers, we'll call them. Some people call them amateur golfers. Unprofessional golfers. But even some professional golfers fall into this problem. Their self-talk is scary. Ken, can you appreciate what I'm about to say? I mean, their self-talk is scary. They say things about themselves on a golf course they wouldn't say anywhere else in the entire world. I'm the worst. I suck. I'm pathetic. I can't believe how bad I am. I can't believe I made that shot. I'm the worst. How does Michael deal with that? Oh, Michael and I laugh about this on a regular basis because this is his greatest... Michael is a professional teacher. And his greatest frustration is that guys actually think they're good. That's his greatest frustration. These guys really think they're good. They actually think that they're good. And then when they don't play up to their expectation, ooh, baby. But negative self-talk, he calls it the curse of words in the book. Man, I just connected with that. I really did. We say stuff to ourselves that we have no business saying. And what it does is it creates a false identity. It creates a false identity. It creates an identity that we're making up, which is really not what we're all about, or even who we are. For the most part, these guys that are calling themselves horrible and ugly things are really not any of those things. I mean, the truth is, You get these guys in a different scenario, in a different setting, and they're some of the greatest people you'll ever talk to, and you'll wonder, what in the world was that all about? But you see, it's about unreasonable expectation, which creates oftentimes false identities. And I really believe it's one of the reasons why we have so many people now struggling with their sexual identities. I really believe that. It's unreasonable expectation. We see a lot of this going on. He talks about it in the book. He says, everyone has an identity. It's who you see yourself as and your identity is impacted greatly by the words you hear and the words that you say about yourself. He calls these the you are statements and the you will never be statements and the you are like statements. with me here? Anybody ever struggle with that besides just me? The truth of the matter is that these words begin to define us and they often reinforce the false identity. The truth of the matter is you are not identified by your assignment. Hear that? You are not identified by your assignment. That's your assignment. Your assignment is to do certain things, to do a certain job or do a certain amount of things. That's all good. We're going to look at that next week in length, but this idea of identity is more. It's who you are in Christ is what he's talking about. People say, I remember Kathy, my assistant, saying to me, you're going to make a great retired person. And I said, why? And she said, because you don't find your identity in being a financial advisor. That is not who you are. It's what you do, but it is not who you are. And I really believe that a lot of folks don't get how important this is. In the Old Testament, you said the great, y'all need to watch this video that Orlando sent me the other day, or sent a bunch of us. What's that gal's name? Jackie Hill Perry. Jackie Hill Perry. God, I love that girl. She's really good. Is she amazing? She is amazing. She did a talk on Hagar, who was the maid of Sarah, who Sarah gave her to her husband to bring birth and Ishmael was the result. And it was fascinating because there were certain things about that that I had never considered before, which was interesting because sometimes you need to hear things from a different perspective and different identity. And I was hearing it from a different perspective. I was hearing it from a woman's perspective. I'd always heard Hagar talk from a man's perspective. Man, I tell you what, it's a totally different... Man, it's a different view from a woman's perspective. Because Hagar didn't have any rights. She didn't have anything. But there's an expression that's used in that thing that's very common in the Old Testament. It's the expression, behold now. Now, you don't see it in the New Testament. You don't see this expression in the New Testament. Behold now. In Hebrew, it's hineni. Hineni. It means, here am I. Look, behold now. This is who I am. Behold now. Look at me. That's what hineni means, look. And ne means, that ending means me. So look at me, behold now. And that's what Hagar said, behold now. She was a slave. She was a slave. And she was a slave that came out of Egypt and that whole crazy thing that Abraham did or Abram did down in Egypt when he gave his daughter to the pharaoh I mean his excuse me his wife to the pharaoh telling her it was his sister, which What the heck was that all about right? Yeah, but but She was sister. Absolutely but There's a great verse in 2nd Corinthians chapter 5 that says this It says if any man And by the way, man there is generic, so this could be man or woman, doesn't make any difference. If any person, if any man is in Christ, now that's the qualifier. That's the qualifier to this statement. Qualifier to this statement is, if any man is in Christ, that's the identity, he is a new creature or a new creation. depending on how you want to interpret that word. New creation, new creature. He's a new creation. Old things. Now, when he says old things, what he's talking about is what he talked about in Ephesians chapter two. He said, remember in times past, you walked according to the course of the power of this world, to the prince of this world, the prince of the power of the air, and you were children of disobedience. So in the times past. Okay, so he's saying the old things, And this is really important. He says, the old things are dead. They have passed away. Now he uses that, Paul uses that expression quite a bit in the New Testament. I would say realize who you are. Because when I was BC, a non-believer, I didn't get it. Of course not. I didn't realize who I was and my relationship with God. Well, you had no idea when, prior to you being a believer, Clark, and I'm using you generically, we had no idea prior to becoming a new creation, new creature, that we were walking according to the power of the Prince of the Air. We had no idea. Did any of y'all have any idea that that was even remotely conceivable? I've never even conceived of that. I've never even... Well, we bought into the science. Yeah, I never once even thought, you know, what? You know, no. So old things are dead. They are passed away. And then he says, sort of like, behold now, he says, behold, behold, which just means, look, behold, all things, and just listen to this, not some things, not a few things, All things. Behold, all things have become what? New. All things become new. So when you have an identity in Christ, it's different than before you were a believer. Your identity is different. That's the point. It's an identity in Christ. So when we ask those simple questions like I did with Joe, what's your name? Joe. Everybody goes, Joe. Yeah, absolutely. You can answer that question. It's not a problem. Do you know that that's not true for everyone? Did you know that's not true for everyone? It's just an immediate response, what is your name? I had a sister-in-law, she's passed away now. I had a sister-in-law who refused to have anybody know her name. She literally changed her name. She didn't want anyone to know her name. Now her name was Sylvia. That was her name. Her name was Sylvia. But she so hated Sylvia, that when she was around sixteen years old she started calling herself carmen she changed her name now i shouldn't change it legally on her death certificate it still says sylvia strepo uh... uh... whatever last name was she had too many of my that's the other problem she had like seven and a half years ago i don't know what name ended up on her uh... thing but but she refused to have any and i and and i would say I remember the first time I met her, she said, what's your name? Carmen. And my sister, excuse me, my sister, her sister, my wife, looked at her and said, really? You're going to tell him your name is Carmen? And she was like, well, that's my name. And her, Grayson and Sylvia, Carmen, got into literally a, I don't want to say a fight, but they got into a, Like a fight. Yeah, not a fight, but I mean, just, you know, like, are you nuts? You know, who are you? She, her identity was so messed up. She didn't even know who she was anymore. Literally. Was there a cause for that? Uh, it's, it's, it would take me, it would take me more time than I'm willing to give it. That's another class. That's a whole nother group. Yeah. Well, he started out, given the story of the young boy in church singing and how the woman made a comment with him his whole life. We're all really given identities when we're children, usually by our parents, and then also by significant others, teachers, peers. We're often given this identity, right? And unfortunately, looking at the society we live in, many don't have good identities, most people. Okay, and then it manifests itself. You know, they're not even intentional about their identity. They just kind of accept these statements that were made or these, you know, we make agreements with things that people have said about us, and then they can become lifelong. And actually Christ, and even with Christ, many people have tough times shaking their true identity. Absolutely. And I think in absence of a real intentional identity, you may have to default to assignments. Correct. Right? When we don't have a really solid identity about ourself. You got to start out with being affirmed. Yeah. Those three A's that he was talking about. Yeah. Yeah. And we're going to talk about those in a second. But yeah, I agree. I love what he says when he drew out Titus chapter one, verse one. And Paul starts out the whole entire book, letter, whatever, with who he is. He said, my name is Paul, a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ and an apostle. So he did two things there. He identified himself. I am Joe. I am Paul. I am a servant. Man, doulos is such an interesting word in Greek because that's the word he's using here, doulos. And doulos means to be bound. Bound. That's actually a D-U, the prefix on there means to bind. It's a binding effect. And this idea of binding is really a big deal. a big deal, being bound, tied down, whatever word you want to use for that. It's interesting because in Genesis chapter 22, it talks about when Abraham bound his son Isaac, it's called the Akiva in Hebrew, and the binding. And when he bound his son, to that altar. It's interesting. Most Christians miss that. Jews get it all the time because that's part of the whole Jewish culture. But Christians miss all that. They miss it for, I don't know what a reason they miss it, but they miss the fact that he bound his son to that altar. Tied him to it. Bound it to him. He had no control over it, is the point. He had no control over the binding, over the kiva. I've often thought that that's maybe one of the reasons why Isaac was such a lost soul for so many years after that. Really? He had no control? He could have fought it. But he didn't. I think it also goes to the point of Isaac trusting his father. Yeah. And I think that is a key factor. Yeah. Because he was old enough to fight. Oh, yeah. He was in his 20s, for sure. and you give up, I often hear you say that he was no good, but to have your father to bind you up, to kill you, and you're aware of that, that brings about trauma. And sometimes you don't get over that trauma. And I believe that. I believe that that was the trauma. He was a different guy after that. After that, that's the point I'm trying to make. He was entirely different after that. But it also shows him trusting his father. Yeah. And it also goes to the point of identifying when we learn to trust God. Yes. And this is what you, well, I'll let you go. No, no, no, it's good. Go, keep going. You're going. It's identifying who we are. Paul was saying, When he identified, he was an apostle, he was a servant. So would you say in bond, he was connected? Well, actually many Bibles will actually take the word doulos instead of saying slave, it'll say bond servant. He used that term. Which by the way, I think it's a better definition or translation personally. It is what it is, it's not, you know. But the problem we have with the word slave, and we're gonna talk about this in a minute, because there's four things that, you know, we have a problem with this idea of slave or bond servant, because we view it as, what's her name again? Jackie. Jackie. Jackie Hill Perry. Jackie Hill Perry. Jackie said something in that talk, which I thought was really interesting, because she was talking a little bit about slavery as well in that talk, which was interesting. And she said, the problem is that we view slavery, the word slavery today, in a different context. We view it in a 18th century, 19th century, pre-Civil War, chattel slavery based on racism. That was not the case when this was written. It was not chattel slavery. It was a Hebrew who got into debt normally. That's how it usually started. They got into debt. They had to find a way to work off their debt. And so they submitted to becoming a bond servant until that debt was paid off. And the book of Exodus chapter 21 tells us that that bond service cannot last, if you're Hebrew, cannot last more than seven years. Actually, six years in a fraction is a long story, but whatever. Let's call it seven years. It can't last more than seven years. Unless, this is important, unless that person says, you know, I think this is where I want to be. This works. I want to be a bond server. And I want to stay in this position. And I want to keep my wife, who was given to me by this person. I want to keep my children, who was given to me by this person. I don't want to lose any of that. And so I choose, and you can read about this in Exodus 21, verses one through six, I believe it is. It could be seven, but you get the gist. First couple of verses there in Exodus 21. It says this. It says that if that person chooses to stay, that it is an irrevocable decision, that it will be done permanently. So he is making a choice to permanently stay in this position. Now that's different than chattel slavery of the 17th, 18th, 19th centuries. Would you agree? Oh my goodness. Yeah. I mean, look, when people were brought over on ships from, you know, from far away lands, by Europeans who are not people that lived in this country, who just invaded this country, basically. And they came here and they took these people who had no idea where they were even going. They had no idea. Think about this. You're sitting there, you're hanging out with your kids. Next thing you know, a bunch of white people come in and they strap you down and they throw you into a box. And then they put you on a ship and they ship you halfway across the world and they don't even tell you what's going on. That's chattel slavery. That's different. That's not what we're talking about. Everybody agree? Okay. So this is not what we're talking about. We're talking about an identity with the Lord. And so Paul says his identity with the Lord is that he's a bond server. First and foremost, he is a bond server. He also says that he's a son. He also says that he is an heir. And he also says that he is a lover, which are the four things he brings out in the book, which I thought were awesome, by the way. And we're going to talk about those quickly as we get through. And then I really want to open it up. But this idea of being a slave is based upon Exodus 21. It really is. I remember the first- Paul's also saying that his master, that he's a slave too, is completely benevolent. He's correct. Everything that his master does is just for Paul's benefit. I wasn't going to do this, but it's not like the Lord takes advantage. Absolutely. He lives for you. He does everything for you. I wasn't going to do this, but Exodus 21, you need to read it. We need to read it. Listen to what it says. If you want to go and get your Bible out or whatever, your phones, I love what Jackie said. I love the rustling of the pages. I do love that. That was good. Exodus 21. Yeah, she said, you know, most of the people now they come to the Bible study with phones and you hear clicks, but you know, there's something special about the rustling of the pages. I thought that was great. Exodus chapter 21 that is the second book in the Bible in case you guys didn't know Exodus 21 says this it says now these are the ordinances which are which you are to set before them if you buy Isn't it interesting? This is the first thing he took this the first of the special of this of what they call the sundry ordinances of the book of Exodus. It's the first sundry ordinances means those things after the Ten Commandments and That's what that really means, okay? Sundry ordinances. But these are the ordinances, and the very first one that he gives is this idea of slavery, being a bond-server. Isn't that crazy? I wouldn't have picked that one first. I mean, I would have come up with a lot of other ones probably before I came up with it, but he thought this was that important, and he made it the first of the sundry ordinances. So if you buy Hebrew slave, obviously that happened quite a bit. It must have happened quite a bit, or he wouldn't have said it right off the bat. So if you buy a Hebrew slave, he shall serve for six years, but on the seventh, that's why that whole sixth to seventh, it's somewhere between the sixth and the seventh is when you're going to give up this possession. He says, but on the seventh, he shall go out as a free man without payment. In other words, whatever he owed you is done, cannot go beyond that. So he does not owe you anything. He doesn't have any responsibility to you anymore. He can walk out free man. This is what President Lincoln called emancipation. That was the idea behind that. Free man. All right, listen. He says, and if he comes alone, he shall go out alone, meaning that if he came into this slave relationship as a single man, he leaves as a single man. If he comes in as a married man, he leaves as a married man. And that's a differentiation. So listen to what he says. If he comes alone, he shall go out alone, and if he is the husband of a wife, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master gives him a wife, which was the idea, once you became a slave, you gave up your parents. Your parents are the ones that would give you a wife normally. This is not the case now. The master's now the one that's gonna give you a wife. It's typically gonna be out of his harem, or out of his children. whatever, however he decides to do that. So he says, his master shall give him a wife, and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall belong to the master. And he shall go out alone. Now listen to what he says. But, my favorite word. But, if the slave plainly says, plainly says, If the slave plainly says, in other words, this has got to be his decision, it's not anyone else's decision, his decision. But if the slave plainly says, I love my master, I love my wife, I love my children, I will not go out as a free man, then his master, did you hear that? I will not go out as a free man. I think it's a fascinating statement. I will not go out as a free man. I'm giving up. My freedom. I am giving it up. I'm walking away from it. Because the love of my wife and the love of my children is better than my freedom. Isn't that what marriage really is all about? Think about it. It's all about it. He says, I shall not go out a free man. Then his master shall bring him to God. Isn't that great? His master shall bring him to God. He shall bring him to the door or the doorpost now. Why does it say that? Well on the door of every Hebrew house. There's what's called a mezuzah and in that mezuzah Which means doorpost by the way in that mezuzah that little that little thing. There's a scroll and that scroll is is the same in every mezuzah. There isn't a mezuzah in the world that has a different thing in it than the one that's on a Jewish house five blocks from here. And that scroll is Deuteronomy 6, which says, Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad. Here, O Israel, the Lord, our God, the Lord is one. And he goes on to say in there, that when you raise your children, you shall raise them in the ways of the Lord. And so when they're sitting down or when they're standing up, when they're lying down, no matter what they're doing, you're going to give them the mysteries of God. And so this person is effectively saying, you are now married. to your wife that I gave you, to the children that you had, and to God and to me. In other words, this relationship now is permanent. And listen to what he says. He says, and his master shall pierce his ear with an awl, which is a really important thing that we talked about when we were doing Isaiah, and he shall serve him, what's the word? Permanently. Permanently. Shall serve him permanently. All right, so with that context, The author of the book says that the relationship, the identity that we have with God is that we are a slave, that we are a son, that we are a friend, that we are a lover. And I think that's so powerful because it begins with this slave or this bond service, which means that we have an exclusivity. It's an exclusive relationship. It is an exclusive relationship and it is a permanent relationship. But here's what's really important about it. You didn't do nothing. You had nothing to do with this relationship. This relationship was because of the master, not because of you. You were brought into this relationship because of the master. The master bought you first. We have no rights. None. None. But he's going to give you the option. So people struggle with this all the time, this idea of predestination and free will. and they mess it up, and they mess it up really badly because they don't understand that God predestines us, but he gives us the free will to say, do I want this to be a permanent relationship or not? He gives us that, so it's weird to people. How can these things effectively happen simultaneously? Well, they can happen simultaneously. God can predestine something, and you can also blow it up. It's weird, but it's true. The Bible's, I think, probably more clear on that subject. That's why you have the Armenians that say, well, everything's by free choice, and you have the Calvinists that say everything is by predestination. And I suggest that they're both true. It's a mystery. It is a mystery. I don't get it, man. I don't think like God. That's the problem. Right? I'm sorry I don't. JR, do we think like God? No, you're an idiot. You know where I'm coming from. Look, we don't think like God. No. No, we don't think like God. We know that. All right. So look, he says, he says there's this exclusive ownership, which is now means that you are totally dependent. He is, he has taken away his freedom. He's given up his freedom. So we are now totally dependent on our master. We are in complete submission to our master. That's the whole idea of the piercing of the ear, because once somebody sees somebody's got pierced ear, they know, oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. You belong to somebody. That's the brand, okay? You belong to somebody. I don't get the door post thing. Oh, that he took him to the doorpost? Because he took him to that verse. He took him to that concept of Deuteronomy 6. Here, read it. I'll read it to you. But the Jew is a slave to the Gentiles. No. This is a Jew and a Jew. Do you understand now? He takes him to that and he says, Here, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words which I am commanding to you this day shall be on your heart, and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and to your daughters, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up, and in other words, all the time. And you shall bind, same word again, akiva, You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and on the frontals of your forehead. Jews actually have these things where they take and it's called tefillin. And they take the tefillin and they wrap it on their arms and they wrap it on their heads when they pray as a symbol of this particular section of scripture again. So it's just to me, it's just an incredible thing. But slavery begins This idea of being a bond servant begins by you saying, I don't want my freedom. That's when it begins. I don't want to be free. Now, that may sound really weird to a lot of people, but all the rest of these three other things come as a result of you saying, I don't want my freedom. I don't want to be on my own. I don't want to be on my own. I don't want to be free. Now, that's weird because the Bible tells us back when we get into the New Testament, it says that He has made us free. And he who is free shall be free indeed. Okay, now, if you're not confused, you should be. But the truth is, if you want freedom, you've got to say no to freedom. If we're free, we're slaves to Christ. Exactly. If we're slaves, we're freeing Christ. Well, what I wrote in my... There is nothing more freeing than being a slave to Jesus. Nothing more freeing than being a slave to Jesus. Nothing. You see, the problem with superficial freedom is that you've got no protection. The problem with superficial freedom is you've got really no authority. Sure, you're on your own, but you're on your own. You got no covering. When Jewish people are married, this is another thing, so many great things. When Jewish people are married, they're married under what's called a chuppah. What does the word chuppah mean? Chuppah means covering. Why? Why are they married under a chuppah? Grace and I got married under a chuppah. Because we think it's such an incredible picture. What is the covering? It means we have put ourselves in complete submission to God, period. I'm under his protection. I'm under his... Man, I want that. I want that. I want that all in my year. Man, I want that all in my year. Yeah, man. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I mean, at the end of the day, I want that protection. I want to be a slave. But here's the beauty. If you choose that route, he says, well, you know what I'm gonna give you now? I'm gonna give you a whole bunch of stuff. He said, first thing I'm gonna give you is I'm gonna give you a sonship. I'm gonna adopt you. You're not mine by birth, but you're mine by adoption. And I have adopted two children, as you all know. There's nothing better than adoption, in my opinion, nothing. It is the best thing that anyone can ever experience. Do you realize that most people in the world don't wanna have anything to do with adoption? They don't have anything to do with it. They think it's odd. They think it's outside. It doesn't make any sense. It is incredible to me that in the nation of Australia, there are less adoptions in the nation of Australia than there are anywhere else in the world. Developed countries. Why? Because it's an enigma. I'm sorry? Well, whatever. I thought that was amazing when I found that out. I was like, what? Are you kidding me? Yeah, and foreign adoption does not exist. It's actually illegal in Australia now. So, why is that? Well, it's because of a misguided idea that the only kind of birth that makes any sense is natural birth. The only people you should be with are your natural parents. But the fact of the matter is that adoption is the greatest picture of what God does for us. And by the way, I believe, supports my idea that God predestines us and yet he gives us the free will to say no. Because in adoption, my children had nothing to do with their adoption. I picked them before they were able to breathe, basically. And not breathe, but think, or talk at least. And they had no idea that I was picking them. They had no idea that they were being adopted. They had no idea that they were even getting involved. But there had to come a point in time, and it did, when they made the decision that we were, in fact, their parents. They had to make that decision. And by the way, we see it in adoption all the time. Part of what we do in our foundation is we try to fix some of these problems that happen with adoptions that are broken, where the children do say no. Or even worse, the parents say no. That's an even more hard one for me to get my arms around. But nevertheless, it happens all the time. Parents just say, I can't do this anymore. I'm done. I'm out of here. And they basically leave the kids, you know, pretty much where they're at, whatever. Okay. But we are given, we are given sonship, you know, so when Jesus, I want you to think about this. When, when Jesus was baptized, He talks about this a little bit in the book. But when he was baptized, God calls down from heaven and says, this is my beloved son in whom I am what? Well pleased. Now what's interesting about that particular, that whole deal, is Jesus ain't done nothing yet. You tell me one thing Jesus did prior to his baptism that is memorable enough to be recorded in the scripture. Well, but my point is, as a man, I'm talking about as a man, tell me one thing, obviously he hadn't done a whole lot because, and by the way, it wasn't like he was 14, he was about 30 years old at this point, he hadn't done anything that we have recorded. He had a little conversation with the rabbis, okay, fine, I get that. But at the end of the day, he hadn't done nothing. So what is God saying? God knows his identity. Hold on, hold on, hold on. He did something. The first thing he did was fulfill the scripture because the scripture says in the Old Testament that he will be baptized. And that he will be judged for whoever you see to judge and sin and so forth. What he did was to obey. Okay, and I get that. I get that. But beyond that, I'm not talking about obedience. I'm talking about identity as to what you do. Okay, I got you. Do you understand what I'm saying? I got you. So, and then nothing. Okay. I mean, of any... No signs, no wonders. Yeah, no signs, no wonders. There you go. That's a better way of putting it. Thank you, Matty. That's absolutely perfect. And yet, in that moment, God accepted him, showed affection to him, and here's the best one, he affirmed him. Those are the three things he talks about in the book. I just thought that was so powerful. Because so many of us have never been accepted, so many of us have never received any affection from our fathers, and even less have been affirmed by their father. I had a very weird relationship with my dad, I gotta tell you. My wife says all the time, she says, did you know the same guy I knew? And because she didn't get my dad, she just did not get him at all. She just did not connect with my father at all, nothing. I'm telling you, she'd be as crazy as, oh, I don't get the guy. But, But for me, he was the only one that affirmed me when I was very young. So for all his craziness, it mattered. That affirmation he gave me when I was 17 years old meant something. meant a lot. Because I was in a point where I needed somebody to help me, to bail me out, and the only person that showed up was Him. Right. So, and I hadn't done nothing yet, and He still affirmed me. I hadn't accomplished anything yet, yet He still affirmed me. He still loved me. Now, That created a different relationship. He did not have that relationship with my sister, by the way. Sorry, did not. I don't know why. Did not. Asked my sister, did your father really affirm you? She would almost unequivocally, I'd love to ask her that. I'm gonna ask her that question now. I think she'd say no. I really believe that. But he didn't do that with me. He affirmed me. He had an opportunity to make a decision and he said, in whom I am well pleased. Even though I'd done nothing. And how powerful that is, did it publicly? I mean, powerful, look what it's had to do with everything. And look at your sister, how powerful it is both ways. Oh, no doubt. No doubt. And we're talking 50 years ago. from the user and still still gets me i didn't realize it was going to get me that bad but it did i'd convinced few men ever hear affirmation from their fall uh... the saddest part about our about our economy today and by the way this is this is some with it that's over review more on that on the black part of our uh... uh... neighborhoods and then on the white but they both have the same problem is father's not showing up. Father's just taking a hike. Oh my God. Well, I'm not even talking about even split families. I'm talking about guys who give birth to children and then they're gone. I mean, this is like the new phase. I mean, this is crazy. But few men ever hear this from their father. And we're adopted into God's family, and we have all of the privileges of a natural-born child. My children have all the privileges that if we had had natural children, they would have the exact same privileges. Exact. Nothing less. Nothing less. They have them all. They have all the privileges. So we have all the privileges of the Son of God. In other words, we have all the privileges of Jesus. Are you kidding me? And that's why he says in Ephesians, in that second chapter, when he says, But now God, who is rich in mercy, wherewith his great love, wherewith he loved us, even when we were dead in Christ, has made us alive together with Christ, this is the important part, with Christ, and has raised us up together with Christ, and has raised us up together with Christ into heavenly places. In other words, positionally, we are right there right now where he is. We just ain't got there yet. And that to me is powerful. You are mine. I love you. I'm proud of you. Those are statements that men don't hear enough. That's what sonship is all about. That's what being a son's all about. But then it also says we're not only a slave, we're not only a son, but we're also a friend. Now see, now this is where it gets really interesting, is I was a son first to my father, but then I was a friend to my father. And there was a period where we became peers, and that was an amazing experience for me. Amazing experience for me. Because I learned that he's still the master, he's still the old man, man, I'll tell you what, even when I was, you know, stronger than he was. There came a point where I was definitely stronger than he was. But I always felt like he could take me out. And make another one just like you. And make a much better one. He kept trying after he made me too. But there was a point where he gave me the opportunity to walk with him as a friend and that was an honest relationship. And that's what God gives to us. He gives us the opportunity to be his friend. But then he also gives us, he says, he talks about this idea of a lover. And I remember when I first read that, I went, I get it. As soon as I read it, I got it. I got it immediately. He gives us an intimacy. He gives us an intimacy. Now, but this all starts because at the very beginning of this thing, we said no to freedom. We said no to freedom, and so He gives us an intimacy. And that's why Deuteronomy 6, the very first thing it says is, and you shall love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might That means your thinking, your mind, all your ways of conjuring up stuff. You shall love the Lord. Love the Lord. Now, I don't think most people know what that means. I don't think most people know what that means. But to love somebody is to be intimate. That's what love is. Love is an intimacy. Matty says, I love my wife. You love her because you're intimate with her. You share things with her. You care about her. You do things with her. She's part and parcel of you. That's what love is all about. It's not just like. It's more than that. It's deeper. It's intimate. And we're not talking sexually here. You understand where I'm coming from? I'm not talking about sex. Anybody can have sex. That's proof positive every day, right? Anybody can have sex. Sex is not intimacy. I'm sorry. It is not. You can have sex with somebody and not even know their name. It should be, and it is in most cases. I'm not suggesting that. But there are marriages where sex isn't even part of the marriage. Not because they don't want it to be, but it can't be. But that doesn't mean it's not intimate. I'm just telling you intimacy is huge and that's what he talks about. You shall love the Lord your God. You shall make him the one person that you are intimate with. So John Jancy sent me a text yesterday, and I have not answered him. And I have not answered him on purpose. I'm hoping he'll listen to this today. But I have not answered him because I needed to get a message from him. I haven't gotten a message from God yet about that text. I don't know how to answer him. I just don't. And I don't want to answer him and just say I don't know. But I do want him to know that I'm trying to talk to God about it. and I want to hear from God about it. That's what I'm listening for. And that's the intimacy we're talking about. That's what we're talking about. And you get an intimacy with God because of prayer. You get an intimacy with God because of reading His Word, listening to what He has to say to you. You get an intimacy from God from fellowship with other people that are getting the same message from Him. That's how you get an intimacy with God. That's how it happens. That's what it's all about. You get an intimacy from God about sharing what's going on in your own life with other people that don't have that relationship. That's how you get an intimacy with God. But at the end of the day, we're created to love God, to love Jesus. We are created for that purpose. That is why God created Adam and Eve. Do you think about that? He created Adam so that God could have a relationship with man. He created Eve so that Eve could have a relationship with man and God. I don't want you to be alone. That's what he said. He said, I don't want you to be alone, so I'm going to give you this. Because intimacy is who God is. Did you ever think about that? Intimacy is who God is. So when Jesus went to Peter and he said to him, he didn't say to him, he could have said a lot of things to Peter, you know, after he died, or just before he died. He could have said a whole lot of things to him. He could have said, Peter, do you believe me? He could have said that. He could have said, hey, Peter, are you going to follow me? He could have said that. The mandate of the gospel is to follow him. He could have said that to Peter. He said, hey, Peter, are you going to follow me? Hey, Peter, are you going to stay with this thing after I'm gone? He could have said that. He could have said a whole lot of things. He didn't say any of those things. What did he say? Jesus, do you love me? I mean, Peter, do you love me? Peter, do you love me? Peter, do you love me? And he said it in three different ways, by the way. Yeah, he said it agape, which is the idea of unconditional love that God has towards us. He said it as agapea, which is the idea of being in unconditional relationship with another person. And then he said it phileo, which is to be a friend. Isn't that interesting? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Three different ways. We say it the same way in English, but it's three different ways in Greek. So here's where I'm at. And then we're out of here. Golly, I can't believe it. You need to know your identity. You got to know who you are. Now next week we're going to talk about your assignment, but you need to know who you are. And to know who you are, you got to stop comparing yourself to each other and compare yourself just to Jesus. and not even compare yourself, just say, I want to be like him, right? I just want to be like him. There's no comparison involved. It was an old Nike commercial. I want to be like Mike. Remember that? I want to be like Mike. That's what we're talking about. Because comparing leads to covening, covening leads to competing, and competing leads, and this is important, competing leads to someone wins and someone loses. You ever think about that? Every competition, he went up and saw a Florida State-Miami game, what was it? Someone won, who won? Florida State? Florida State, they won. Miami lost. Does that mean Miami is horrible? No, it just means they lost. But unfortunately, that's what competition indicates, is they're good, these guys stink. Or whatever. Ohio State loses to Michigan, right? Ohio State loses to, I had to do it. You know, and I was with a whole bunch of people over Thanksgiving, and they were all dressed up in blue and gold, man. They were all dressed up. They were all dressed up in blue and gold. It was so funny. I said to them, I said, man, I got news for you. I got a whole other pack of friends, and they're dressed in garnet and silver, or whatever they call it. Scarlet. Scarlet and silver. They're from Wisconsin? Yeah, they're from Wisconsin. But here's the deal. It's not about competition. It's not about comparing. And it's certainly not about company. I want what you got. I want to be like Mike. No, I want to be like Christ. I want to be like Him. So, where is your identity? Your identity needs to be in Christ. When people look at you and they ask you that question, who are you? Paul said, I'm an apostle. Well, what's an apostle? Apostle is somebody who's sent by God. That's what it means. Apostle means sent by God. And so what do you answer that question to? How do you want to answer that question? For years, I used to say, well, I'm a financial planner. So that's what I would say. If somebody asked me, well, who are you? I'm Don. You know, what do you do? Oh, I'm financial planner. That's what I would say. That was the wrong thing. That was the wrong answer. Always was the wrong answer. You know, I am a child of God. That's what I am. I am a slave to him. I am a son to him. I am a friend to him. And I love him. And he loves me. And that's what I am. When you start to identify in that way, things happen that are different. So when I'm hanging out at my golf course, it's really interesting. Everybody knows I'm the preacher. It's just so funny. I mean, you know, some people just avoid me because they don't want to get preached at, I guess. I don't know. I don't ever preach at anybody, but you know, whatever, at least I don't think I do. That's just a good testimony to have. It's just where it is. But they associate you with the Lord. And it's amazing when people can, when others' perception of you. And I think that's interesting because you can identify yourself, who you are, but it's even more so when people can tell your identity. Exactly. And you know, I think one of the great One of the great missions that we have is to create what they call in mathematics, congruence. You know what congruence means? Congruence means that they all fit. It's that they're equal. That things be congruent. So you need to make your perception congruent with your reality. Make your perception congruent with your reality. Because perception is reality to most people. So why not we make our perception, which we conceive as being reality, congruent with who we really are? And that's really what we're talking about. Because when that happens, you've allowed God to define you. And when you allow God to define you, everything works. That's why I'm a believer, because of this. It's congruent. I would just offer that. Bye, Randy. Thank you, bud. See you, Randy. See you later. See you, Joey. Because my identity changed. God intervened somehow, and the guy in the mirror afterwards is different than the guy before. That's really the only way I can describe it. In fact, you guys probably don't know my prior identity. We need to talk over that at lunch or breakfast. Can we do that at breakfast? I want to do that. I want to hear that at breakfast. Can we do that? Let's do that. Let's get out of here. Hey father, we thank you for your word. We thank you for the fact that you give us an identity, which is in you. That in doing that, God, you, that in our allowing ourselves to become slaves, you make us sons, that you make us friends, that you make us lovers, which is just an incredible thing. And, uh, And I just thank you so much for Jesus. I pray, Lord, that you just watch over our time today and this weekend and as we go forward. Until we meet again, just bless your holy name. Thank you for Jesus and pray in his name. Amen.