I expect that many of us perhaps have seen the movie Courageous. If you didn't, I apologize. I'm going to ruin the plot for you if you're planning to see it. But the movie Courageous, as movies go, wasn't too bad in the message toward fathers. It was had a number of really good illustrations, things that we could learn and the lead character in the movie as you would know if you saw I guess his little girl was killed in a car accident and He took that as an opportunity to examine where he was at in his role as a father and decided that he wanted to be a better father to his son that he had left. And he made a statement that as he started studying the scriptures to learn how to be a better father, he made the statement, I never understood how much scripture had to say about fatherhood. And so that really is the case, I think, with a lot of us. We don't understand all the teaching that the scripture has about a lot of things. So we all have room to grow in that regard. And so this father took on the responsibility, the opportunity to understand what the scriptures had to say. And of course then, you know, it goes on where they sort of make this pledge to be better fathers and to lead their families and those sorts of things. there was another place in the movie where these folks that the lead characters they were all in the sheriff's department and the I guess the the chief for the chief of the police or the sheriff's department read a bunch of statistics about fatherhood in society and sort of the lack of fatherhood and so I want to share something similar I looked up some statistics and you know these kinds of things are easy to be found and they really give us a picture of where we are at in society. So these are some fatherless statistics. 43% of US children live without their father, whether that's because the father died or result of divorce, whatever the case may be. 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. I think these are 2014 statistics based just in the United States. So 90% of the homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. 90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions have no father. 85% of kids or youths in prison grew up in a fatherless home. And fatherless boys and girls are twice as likely to drop out of high school, twice as likely to end up in jail, four times more likely to need help for emotional and behavioral problems. So those are some very sobering statistics and you know though this is a national statistics if you search out statistics based just on what we would consider or what is often called the church which I don't necessarily think you know all Israel isn't Israel so to speak so even though a lot of churches claim to be Christian may not necessarily be the case but you know those statistics that from churches people that attend churches mirror that fairly closely and so I'd like to begin just with some basics there's a football coach who Every season he starts saying, I'm going to start with the basics and he holds up a football and he says, this is a football. That's about as basic as you can get when it comes to coaching football, I guess. So I want to start with the basics. Start with where God created the family, where God created fatherhood. So Genesis 1, 27 and 28. Clear back at the beginning of creation, we read that God created man or mankind in his own image, male and female, he created them. And it says that he blessed them and he told them be fruitful and multiply to fill the earth. So there is the picture of God's creation, male and female, in the beginning, and his prescription for parenting, that they were to be fruitful and multiply. So God as creator God is the authority. Genesis 2 24 says therefore a man shall leave father and mother and cleave unto his wife and they too shall become one flesh. That man leaving and cleaving, that is the picture of the family. That husband and wife is a family. They have separated from father and mother. And this is clear back before there were father and mother because there was only Adam and Eve before they had children. But yet, God's command is that a man shall leave his father and be joined unto his wife or cleave unto his wife. And that is then the picture of the family. That is the foundation of the family, the husband and wife, that they become one flesh. It is a one flesh relationship. And again, this is God's establishment. This, and if anybody wants to, you know, debate the evolution issue, I'm happy to do that at some point, but clearly we can understand from the scriptures that this is the way God created, that this is the foundation of society. It is not up to governments to define what is a family. It is not up to, anything outside of scripture, outside of God's authority to define what the family is. And so whether society, whether governments, whether lawmakers and politicians try to redefine what a family is, God is the authority. And so then in Genesis 3, we read of the fall where man sinned. and man fell under God's wrath, where man fell under the curse. And then it is interesting that just after the fall, just after Genesis chapter three, in Genesis chapter four, we, the first verse read of the first child being born. And it says that Adam knew his wife and she bore a son whom they called Cain. This is after the fall. Cain was born under sin. Cain was born under the wrath. Cain was born into sin, just as David, who said in sin did my mother conceive me wasn't calling his mother a fornicator there, but he was making the point that. That he was born in sin. All all are born in sin. All are born depraved. All are born under. The curse. And so that is the condition in which we find ourselves in the beginning that we are under this curse. And so we as. And I say we. Use that term loosely, I guess we as fathers and we can be from fathers in many ways of fatherhood is. It is about relationship. It is not necessarily just about biology. There is a biological aspect, but even the point there in Genesis chapter four, verse one, that Cain or that Adam knew his wife, that idea is, you know, it's not talking just about a physical relationship there, but that is the idea of knowing is relationship oriented. It is intimacy oriented. And so when we read that God knows his children, when we read, um, We'll see even in this passage that when we speak of knowing people, it is about relationship. It is about what God means for us when we know God, when we know Christ. It is talking about a relationship. And so we need to recognize then that we, as we become fathers, We are actually God's agent in the forming of a human soul. Do you ever think of that? That becoming a father, you become God's agent in the forming of a human soul. It's one of the greatest responsibilities and one of the greatest blessings that you may face in life. And again, we can become fathers, not necessarily, you know, there is that biological aspect, that is the typical way, that is the way that God originally ordained that men become fathers, and that is what we see here in the Genesis account. But we can also become fathers through adoption, we can become spiritual fathers, and that's what Paul is talking about in our passage today that we're going to look at. He is a spiritual father to the Corinthians, and so he is behaving as a father toward the Corinthians in what he's doing here in this passage. And so we're going to look at that, but we want to understand that fatherhood really carries responsibility. The folks that we read about in these statistics, the fatherless homes, those are folks that are not owning up to their God-given responsibility in many cases. Again, there can be tragedies, there can be things that happen, but oftentimes it is simply because of sin that there are fatherless homes. Psalm 127 verse 3 says, Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows in the hand of a mighty man, so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. Children are a heritage. Children are a blessing. And again, there is great responsibility, but we should not shy away from that responsibility. We should not say that we don't, you know, we don't want that responsibility. A child is never a mistake. There are those I know you hear from time to time talking about their children that it was a mistake. A child is never a mistake. God is sovereign over all things, and when a child comes into being, it is because of God's sovereignty. If you just look at all of the biology that occurs in the forming of a child, you will recognize the miracle that it is, and that it is only designed by God's grace that that could happen the way it does. It's an amazing process, biologically. So a child is not a mistake, even if unplanned in our humanness, even if it's unplanned in our humanness, it is still not a mistake and it should not be an unwanted responsibility. Again, we should look at fatherhood as A blessing. We should be encouraged as fathers and again, even whether we are spiritual fathers and we should all seek to be spiritual fathers and we will talk more about that here in a minute. But it is God's command that we do be fruitful. He told Adam and Eve be fruitful. So it is God's plan that. When children are born. So fatherhood and the family unit are God's design and the foundation of society. The idea that it takes a village is foreign to scripture. Those who come up with those kinds of ideas that it takes a village to raise a family do not understand the teachings of scripture. It is the family responsibility. It is God's foundation for building society. The society. The governments, the things that. We used to organize and sort of provide protection and rule in life come after God's design of the family. The family was what he established in Genesis as the foundation for society. So fatherhood ultimately then again is about relationship. It is not just biology. And you can be a father without biology through adoption or as a spiritual father. And we see a great picture, the perfect picture of this relationship in God the Father and God the Son within the Trinity. The perfect harmonious relationship within the Trinity among God, the Father, God, the Son of God, the Holy Spirit that there's there is perfect relationship there. And as always, we should look to God as our example. And so this relationship that we see in God, the Father, God, the Son. Should be an example to us. John Chapter 10 verses 14 through 18. If you want to turn their John Chapter 10. Verse 10 he says that this is the teaching where he says I am the Good Shepherd and know my sheep. Again, that is that intimate relationship there. I know my sheep and am known of mine again the same term there knowing that that that that is an intimate relationship that he's speaking of as a shepherd and his sheep. And then again he goes on in verse 15 as the father knoweth me even so know I the father. So there again is that that's that perfect picture of that relationship that that knowing again more than just the idea that God knows. Christ or knows someone it's it's more than a knowing it is speaking of relationship there so as the father knoweth me even so no I the father so. Picture of the relationship and then again his his picture. Of. his relationship with the church, that he lays down his life for the sheep, which is what we celebrated this morning, that he came and did that on our behalf as the lamb without spot or blemish. And it says another sheep I have which are not of this fold them also I must bring and they shall hear my voice and they shall be one fold and one shepherd. Verse 17 therefore doth my father love me because I lay down my life that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my father. So there he speaks of the father's love. Again that's a perfect love God the father God the son their relationship and again that should be an example to us that the father loves the son and we see that the son lays down his life in obedience to the father that is the purpose for which he came the purpose for which the father sent him. So the son obeys the father. And again there's that intimate relationship. John Chapter 5 verses 19 and 20. Jesus says then answered It says, then answer Jesus unto them. Verily, verily, I say unto you, the Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do. For what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise. So the Son sees what the Father does, and the Son does likewise. The Father loveth the Son, and showeth him all things that himself doeth. A great picture there of the relationship that we see in the Trinity, the perfect relationship that God is demonstrating what the Son does, and the Son follows. The Son does exactly what is demonstrated, exactly what he sees the Father do. And it says, he will show him greater works than these that ye may marvel. We as earthly fathers, whether spiritual fathers, whether adoptive fathers, whether biological fathers, We fail, we do not mirror the perfect relationship that God the Father has with God the Son because we are fallen creatures. We are still under that curse, even though we have a new nature as Christians, we still have that old nature that we wrestle with. We still love imperfectly. But there is an example, and we'll talk a little bit more about that. Let's get back to our passage in 1 Corinthians, and we look at Paul here writing to the Corinthian church. And just to give a little background, if you look back through the preceding verses, even the preceding chapters, Paul is addressing the Corinthian church and really hitting them pretty hard with some challenge. He is pointing out some egregious sin in their assembly, in their lives as individuals, and he goes on to do that in chapter 5, bringing up the issue of fornication within the church and that sort of thing. So he has been admonishing very strictly here, very harshly, very actually even sarcastically. If you read through this, it's loaded with sarcasm in the way that he's addressing the Corinthians. And so in verse 14, he says, I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons, I warn you. So he's making the point then that he is not writing to shame them. He's writing to them as his beloved children. Again, this is Paul as a spiritual father to these folks. He loves them. That is his heart. And so he's making the point that, you know, I'm writing to you not to shame you, although they may be ashamed because of the way that he has been so sarcastic in addressing them. You know there may be shame that they felt and certainly there should have been conviction because as Paul challenged them, the Holy Spirit through Paul's words through the Word of God should have been convicting these folks of sin in their life. And so they you know there is a measure of shame that comes with that. But Paul's making the point that you know I'm look I'm writing to you not because I want to shame you. I don't want to belittle you, it's out of a heart of love as a father. He's addressing them as his beloved children. And so, you know, it brings to mind the passage in Ephesians that fathers are not to provoke their children to wrath. When you overly Shame your children when you overly put them down in a way that they are embarrassed over and over and over again. If that is a way of life that that is one way of provoking your children to wrath and that passage says that fathers and it's addressing fathers in particular, although it applies to both father and mother, but not to provoke your children to wrath, but to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It's Ephesians 6.4. So, to not provoke children to wrath is to not shame them, and that's, you know, Paul says, you know, in this case, well, you know, if you are ashamed, you know, in some ways maybe they should have been, they certainly should have been convicted, but it was not Paul's way of life. He was not, you know, not writing just to shame them, but he was writing to admonish them. He was writing to them as beloved children. And so where he says these things, he writes to them as beloved sons to warn. That word warn is the word nuthateo. It's where we get the word for nuthetic counseling. Paul uses that word over and over again and oftentimes it's translated admonish. That's really the idea. It is a warning but it is an admonishment that really is geared toward change. When someone admonishes, In this sense, it is challenging them to repent. It is challenging them toward repentance, toward change to Christlikeness. And that's Paul's goal here, is to challenge the Corinthians to admonish them that they would become Christlike, that they would deal with this sin in their life. He goes on to talk about how they are puffed up and proud in a lot of things. Paul said these things because he cared. Again, he was a loving father. He says he's addressing his beloved children. And so, you know, as we are challenged there in Ephesians to not provoke our children to wrath, but to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, that same word there, admonition, it's to admonish. It's the idea of teaching. It's the idea of being there and helping to understand. And so a father must really understand. It comes down to, you know, it's all about relationship, to understand your child, to understand where they're at so that you're able to help them to grow, to understand. And again, this applies whether you're talking about Children in a biological familial sense, or whether we're talking about spiritual children, we all should be looking to be fathers to someone in a spiritual sense. We are challenged over and over again in Scripture, and we see that in this particular passage. That we we are to be as Paul is here looking to. Challenge one another to admonish one another. We are told throughout the scripture to admonish one another to help one another to understand. Truth and to grow in Christ likeness and so that is that is our goal. That is our challenge. Whether we have children or not, we can all fulfill that role in a sense in someone's life. So. As God said of Jesus more than once, this is my son and whom I am well pleased. It should be a father's goal to understand his son, to encourage his son in that way. Not that a father does not have to admonish, a father does have to nurture. The idea of nurture in Ephesians chapter six, I think of nurture oftentimes, that word nurture sounds like a mother holding her baby and being very nurturing and caring. But it really carries the idea of discipline. And so there are some translations that even say that to bring your child up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. The words used there carry that same meaning that that it is discipline and instruction that we are to apply in raising of children, whether spiritual, whether biological. So that word nurture, the idea of discipline, we'll talk a little bit more about that again, but there's a lot of controversy about that idea and certainly that can go too far where where the idea of discipline becomes becomes abusive where it can go over the line and become point where you could provoke children to wrath but at the same time it is a father's responsibility as a caring father to discipline. A father chastens just as God says he chastens the child whom he loves. It is a father's responsibility to chasten and again that idea of chastening it has it carries more of a connotation than just giving a whipping. It is an instructional term. There may need to be some of that nurture, some of that discipline that as we read over and over again in Proverbs about the use of the rod and you know, but ultimately you know that should be done in a nurturing way. It should be done in a way. Never out of anger, never out of. A sense of punishing, but it should be done in a way that is. To bring about. Change it is to bring about instruction. It is to help a child to learn and to understand. And so that's Paul's goal here as he's writing that that's the point that he makes here in verse 14 that that is his goal is to. To challenge. And to warn or to admonish his children as a beloved father would do. Verse 14 I write not these are verse 15 for though you have 10,000 instructors in Christ. Yet have you not many fathers? For in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. This is something I've heard our pastor talk about on more than one occasion. How many instructors we have out there. We have access to the internet. We have access to all kinds of instruction. And as a pastor with a father's heart for us, He's very, in a sense, I guess, concerned about that. I won't say worried, necessarily, because, again, he trusts in the authority of Scripture and God's sovereignty in these things. But there are many instructors out there, and Paul's making the point here that though someone might have 10,000 instructors, though there may be many, many teachers out there, Not all of them have the heart of a father. Not all of them are there to teach as a father. They don't all care as a father would care. And so as a pastor warning his church, he's concerned, perhaps, about the instructors that are out there. And it makes me think of Job and his friends that instructed him and weren't necessarily understanding what was going on there. Only in relationship Can we really fully understand how to teach, to understand what a child needs? You know, a pastor understands, should understand his people because he has a relationship with them. And the better that relationship grows, the better that relationship can be, the stronger it can be, the more open and transparent it can be, the better that that pastor is able to help that flock, the better that pastor is able to help his children. And the same is true within a family. The better a father understands his children, understands the struggles that they're going through, understands the way they think, the way they need to be taught, the way they learn. The more a father understands that, and that happens only in relationship, only as you spend time in dialogue and conversation and understanding, is a father able to teach the way That that Paul is speaking of here. Outside of a relationship, if an absentee father, someone who spends spends all their time selfishly away playing games and doing their thing, you know. Yeah, even within a home. A father can be absentee, you know, even without being. You know. where there's a death in the family where the father dies, where there's divorce, those kinds of things, even where that kind of thing, even without that, there can be an absence of a father in a home because the father is preoccupied with other things. And so there is again why that relationship becomes so important, because a father is to demonstrate what Paul is speaking of here in being a father, being able to teach appropriately. And so that relationship is at the core of that. Without having that relationship, you will not understand and be able, your children will not open up to you. You know, it's often said that, you know, and I've heard folks say that, you know, my kids know they can share anything with me. Not sure that's always the case, and particularly where there is sin involved, we like to hide sin. We like to hide, you know, sin wants to be in darkness, sin does not want to be in the light. And so it is only as we have relationship and we can really see between the lines sometimes and understand where there are sin issues, where there are struggles, that our children are facing that we can address those things because they may not come right out and tell us but we should be able to see and again hopefully as we build that relationship as there is this openness and transparency and that goes both ways a father needs to demonstrate that and we'll talk more about how a father needs it's really important it is necessary that a father demonstrate that openness and transparency with their children. So as a father, spiritual or otherwise, you must lovingly correct wrong beliefs and behavior. but with a particular purpose. And that is the purpose of bringing understanding and change toward Christ likeness. Uh, that is a father's goal. Um, that's what we see in Deuteronomy chapter six. Fathers are challenged to keep the word of God before their children all the time. And that is another area where I think, you know, where Paul is making the point here, he's, he's talking about, uh, having many teachers, but not many fathers. And he's saying that he is a father. Through the gospel, through the word he is applying, he has applied God's truth here. In fact, well, what he's saying here is I planted the church. I mean, Paul is the spiritual father in the sense that he planted this church. He shared the gospel in the city of Corinth originally. I believe it's X Chapter 18 where it shows him doing that. He spent about 18 months there in the city of Corinth preaching and teaching. establishing this church, being the church planter, being the evangelist. And so in that sense, he became the father. There are more than, again, just by planting churches or, you know, there's the idea of discipleship where we can also be a father, in a sense, to others that we'll talk more about. But there are, opportunities that we pass, that we don't, we miss with our children oftentimes. because we're so focused on other things. We're not focused on the Word of God and its understanding and being a spiritual father. If you think about, you know, Paul here, it says that he has begotten them through the gospel. I cannot imagine the heart of a father not being gospel minded, not being great commission minded toward their children. You know, for a father to neglect the scriptures, for a father to neglect the truth of the gospel with their children, It's almost unimaginable. I mean, a father, I would think, would be on their knees every day praying for their children, praying for their children to understand the gospel, for the gospel to be effective in their child's life. Made the point earlier that as a father and mother, we bring a living soul into this world. That's a living soul that that. Is going to be it is eternal. And we so often get caught up in our children understanding. You know the things of life that are necessary to make them successful in the business world, or you know, to be doctors or lawyers, or you know to. To be. You know, someone perhaps who can take care of us in our old age or that kind of thing, you know, being selfishly motivated. But understanding that this child's soul is eternal should be very sobering, should be very challenging. And that is the case for anyone, even as a spiritual father, to understand that that there are people out there who are lost. And again, as we demonstrate Christ in relationship, it is, you know, the idea of the Great Commission, you know, to make disciples, go therefore into all the world and make disciples. The idea of going is not that, you know, again, that we necessarily always just send someone out to pass out tracks and knock on doors and those kinds of things, but it's literally as you are going, as you are living your life, it's not what you do, but it's who you are. And that's who we should be. We need to be great commission minded people that we live out God's truth, that we are able to admonish, that we are able to share truth, that we are able to clearly articulate the gospel with others that we come across, and particularly with our children. We have a lot of kids here at Grace Bible Fellowship. We have a lot of kids, a lot of responsibility. and whether they are our biological children or not, we have a responsibility to be gospel-minded toward them, to be demonstrating gospel truth, to be demonstrating that the gospel makes a difference in life, to be demonstrating that Christ has accomplished something, and that that is who we are, that we are something different in Christ, that we are not as we once were, but that we are new creatures, And as we grow in Christ-likeness, again, we will never do this perfectly. We will fail. But as fathers, as father figures, we ought to, again, be transparent even in our failures. One of the greatest teaching tools that we have, you know, we look at what God the Father did with God the Son, and yeah, that was a perfect relationship, but we are not that perfect. And so what Christ accomplished in demonstrating That relationship and demonstrating who we are to be in fathers. You know we're going to fail, but we need to be transparent even in our failures. Christ modeled something when he was here on Earth. He modeled what it what it is to disciple someone and that is our goal. Then as fathers, that is what Paul is doing here is discipling these folks in the Corinthian church. And so as we do that. You know, we show Christ, we show who he is, we show that he's made a difference, and we are able to more perfectly show, you know, Christ didn't demonstrate sin because he was perfect, he did not sin, but he did teach how we deal with sin through repentance, through forgiveness of one another, through asking forgiveness from him, and changing and turning from our sin. you know the when your child steals something you know and you know whether it's changed from mom's purse or something off of you know dad's dad's dresser drawer or whatever the case might be you know what do we do with them do we do we chase in them and sit them in a corner and do something and you know we work on the behavior you know You're not supposed to steal. That's a sin. You know, you're breaking one of the Ten Commandments there. But do we use that as an opportunity for the gospel? Do we use that as an opportunity toward heart change because we can change. We can put up all the boundaries, all the roadblocks we want. We can make a child conform to behavior. We can make a great Pharisee out of our children. Luke 6.45. says a good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good and the evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth evil for of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh you know it it's going to come out what is in our heart and Christ is our only hope in that. As we show Christ, the law is there to demonstrate that we cannot keep it. None of us are perfect. We as parents have failed to keep the law, and we should be open to demonstrating that with our kids, that we have failed, that they will fail, But that is the point of the cross. That is why Christ came because we are. Guilty, wretched sinners under a curse. We are depraved from birth, but Christ has accomplished something and that it is only in Christ that we have any righteousness. And so that is what we should be demonstrating for our children. We should be looking for heart change, not just behavioral change. Again, we don't want just to make. Make Pharisees of our kids, but we want them to understand who Christ is and what Christ accomplished. All behavior comes from the inside. Lasting change in a child's behavior. Starts with change in his or her heart. It is not. It is not just a boundary thing. And that's not to say that boundaries aren't important. Boundaries and systems that help to control behavior are important. We should have boundaries for our kids. We should have we should have standards that we uphold in our homes. 1 Timothy 3, 4 challenges that an elder, one of the qualifications for an elder is that he must manage his household well and keep his children submissive. A child, you know, that is part of a father's responsibility is that he keep children Submissive in a sense, but again, only God, only Christ, only the power of the word can change the heart. And that really should be our goal is to be looking at heart change, not behavioral change. Again, you know, it's easy to make a child conform in some sense. You know, we can make them obey, but we don't change the heart. except by God's truth, except by the power of God's Word to change. And we do that by the sharing of God's truth, by teaching God's truth, by admonishment from God's truth, and we do that by living God's truth, by demonstrating it. The power of what a child sees in their parent, in their father, is way more powerful, way stronger than what they hear. What they see will make more of an impact than what they hear. They need to see the difference that Christ has made in your life. They need to see how that changes our behavior rather than us just simply demonstrating conformance to standards but to understand why we do what we do so when that child we catch them stealing something and you know we can we can chase in them but really to understand the truth of the word that that as a thief is to put off the old man ways and put on new man ways to to put off stealing and to renew their mind to renew their thinking in the scriptures and to put on new man ways and work with their hands that they might have something to give to someone else that that's that's the picture of the heart change that that person who stole now no longer desires to steal, but desires to do something beneficial for someone else, to work with their hands that they might have something to give, that they become, rather than selfish and wanting to steal, to have something in my own possession for my own selfish desire. But now I put that away and I put on service toward others that I want to give. That's the heart change that is demonstrated. And certainly we all fail in that regard, but we all can grow in that regard. And so, Uh, that is important because when away from the boundaries, you know, we can keep Children within those boundaries all through life until it comes time that they leave the home. And then what happens? You know, there are many statistics out there that you can find that shows that Children will grow up in the church. And then what happens? Why is that? Well, it's because perhaps They see so much hypocrisy is one of the things that they will say. They see so much hypocrisy in the church. And again, that's because we are imperfect people. And the problem is when we become Pharisaical, we don't admit to our faults. And so we become hypocritical. That's what Jesus challenged the Pharisees over and over again. You hypocrites, you hypocrites, you say one thing and you do something else. Over and over again, Christ challenged them with that. That should be a challenge to us to, again, to admit fault, to be willing to be open and transparent and to recognize that we fail and to demonstrate that when we fail, we know how to make it right. And that is our role, our responsibility that we can demonstrate to our children. So that when they leave, they are not left without that understanding of the heart change that they will have the self-control. They will have the Holy Spirit to be able to help them to control. Paul Tripp says, when God works real change in the thoughts, attitudes, desires, motives, and values of a child's heart, then behaviors and words change as well. When a child's thoughts, attitudes, desires, and motives, when their values change in the heart, that's when their behavior will change. That should be our goal, to help them understand that they need a heart change and that can only be accomplished in Christ. You should point your child to Christ every day. The power of Jesus to forgive and change hearts is the hope that both a father and a child need. We are not without hope in this world. We do have hope because of what Christ has done and as fathers. Fathers concerned for the eternal. Eternal soul of our children. We have hope in Christ. Our only hope in that regard is in Christ. So let's move on then verse 16 says wherefore I beseech you be ye followers of me. Be ye followers of me. This is. This is, in a sense, the heart of the gospel. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11, verse 1, Follow me as I follow Christ. That is the idea that as disciples, it's the Great Commission, in action that we make disciples, we assimilate into the church. Again, that should be part of a father's desire to see not their child leave the church when they grow, but that the child becomes a member of the body of Christ, is in the church, active and serving, and then that we continue to teach whatsoever things I have commanded, is what Jesus said in the Great Commission, to teach whatsoever things I have commanded. And that again, it is the heart of the gospel. Christ over and over again said, follow me, follow me. That is what Paul is saying here, be followers of me as he follows Christ. The word there, to follow him, it's the word for mimic. It is the word that you know you think the idea like father like son You know many times kids want to grow up, and they want to be like dad Or they want to be like some hero that they idolize and you know I don't know that I've ever heard a child say, when I grow up I want to be like Jesus. It's always a football star, it's some kind of a television personality or something, perhaps their earthly dad, and as an earthly dad, It would be great for my child to say, I want to be like Dad as he is like Christ, that that would be a child's goal. And as they see that being our goal, that will become perhaps their goal as God works in their heart. So the word then is mimic, and we see this illustrated very nicely in 2 Timothy. Paul writes in 2 Timothy chapter 1, He's writing to Timothy, he says, you then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus. So again, that is where we get our strength as fathers, as children, is in Christ Jesus. And he's addressing Paul as his child. He addresses Paul as his child in this passage in verse 17. A couple of times in the first chapter of First Timothy, chapter one, he addresses Timothy as his child. But we understand that Timothy was actually likely saved under the ministry of his mother and grandmother, Lois and Eunice. So Paul, again, he's making the illustration here that He is Timothy's spiritual father, even though a spiritual father does not necessarily have to be someone that leads, so-called leads someone to the Lord, but can be someone who is a discipler. And so that is what we see here. And so in 2 Timothy then, chapter 2 he says that which you have heard of me among many witnesses the same commit thou to faithful men that they may teach others also a very good picture of discipleship there that that Paul taught Timothy Timothy was to teach others other faithful men that they would be able to teach others also. And in our passage here, he says in verse 17, for this cause have I sent unto you Timothy, who is my beloved son and faithful in the Lord, who shall bring you into remembrance of my ways which be in Christ. So. The discipleship model works. The discipleship model works because we see that Paul was actually able to send Timothy to model what Christ, or to model what Paul had taught as he followed Christ. We see that replicated over and over again in the scriptures. John chapter eight illustrates this very nicely as Jesus taught He says, I have many things to say and to judge of you, but he that sent me is true and I speak to the world those things which I have heard of him. So Jesus is saying again that I speak to the world the things that I have heard of the Father. And it says that they understood not that he speak to them of the Father. It says, Then Jesus said unto them, When ye have lifted up the Son of Man, then shall ye know that I am he, and that I do nothing of myself, but as the Father hath taught me, I speak these things. And he that sent me is with me. There's one of the principles that we see in discipleship, that Jesus says that the Father was with him. We made that point already that an absentee father is not fulfilling the scriptures. An absentee father cannot disciple. You must be with someone to disciple them. You must have that relationship. You must be with them. Christ, it says that he ordained 12 that they should be with him. We should recognize that in our own families. Brother Nevin I know isn't here, but God has ordained 12 that they should be with him. That is. God's work. God... you know, brings children into our family. He brings children into the family of grace Bible fellowship for a purpose that they may be discipled. And so, you know, again, we must be with someone in order to be disciple them. That's, that's the picture that we see here, uh, that Christ was with the 12 that the father was with Jesus. So as we are with them, then it says, The Father hath not left me alone, for I do always those things that please Him." I do always those things that please Him. Jesus was like the Father. Jesus said over and over again that I am the Father of one. He who has seen me has seen the Father. Again, Paul says, follow me as I follow Christ. Follow me as I follow Christ. Timothy, you know, You follow me, you teach others that they may teach others also. It is that replication, that mimicry, we mimic. We mimic as we want to be like someone who is like Christ. And so, in order for someone to be like Him, they must be with Him. They must be with you as you are like Him. Think of what all the disciples saw Christ handle in life. They saw Him in various social occasions speaking to sinners and hypocrites and prostitutes and and you know every variation of society political leaders saw him speaking to the poor and to the wealthy they saw him handling finances they saw him taking criticism and ridicule from others. Christ demonstrated life among the disciples. That's why he spent the three years with them, to demonstrate for them what it means to be a godly, to be him, to be Christ-like. And so as he demonstrated that with the disciples, that was in part to begin the process of discipleship that we see in the establishment of the church and what was accomplished through the apostles. So today's absentee fathers don't fulfill this responsibility. Fathers should model what Christ modeled. Fathers should model what Paul is speaking of here in being a disciple and discipling others. Only as we grow in Christlikeness can we help others to grow in Christlikeness. Only as we mimic Christ in our lives can others see Christ in us and mimic that as well. And Paul makes the point here that he says, as I teach everywhere in every church, you know, Paul did not teach one thing to one group and another thing to another group. Paul taught the same doctrine, the same truth of the scriptures. the same gospel. You know, Paul planted churches everywhere, and he did that by sharing the gospel, and he continued to teach the same doctrines, the Apostles doctrines, the things that we see in Scripture. That is Paul's teaching, and he didn't favor one over another. That's another challenge for fathers, not to be favoring one over another. Paul taught the same thing in every church. He treated all of his spiritual children equally. He showed no favoritism, but he loved the same and taught the same truth. We must remember that each child is unique, and we must rely on God for the spiritual wisdom to apply biblical truth to the particular challenges of raising our children. As children are unique, every individual is unique, and again, only in that relationship can we understand that uniqueness. We teach the same truth, but we may teach it in different ways because we have different ways of learning. So it is important that it is always the same truth, but there are different ways of teaching, different ways of sharing that. And again, the strongest way perhaps is by living it out, by being an example. As we go to Jesus with our own struggles, we ask him to change our hearts so that we will be able to respond constructively and kindly to our children's challenging behavior. Sort of the idea of getting the log out of our eyes so that we can be clear. Clearly see to help them get the log out of or the splinter out of their eye. We should teach children with the same patience, love and grace that our Heavenly Father has for us. Again. Jesus chastens those whom he loves, and that means more than just the rod, but it also can mean a teaching. In verses 18 and 19, Paul says, now some are puffed up as though I would not come to you. What was going on here in the Corinthian church, you know, they were coming proud and Being very accepting of a lot of sin within the church. Teaching a lot of untrue doctrines. And he they were becoming proud thinking that Paul would never come back. You know, Paul had been with them for 18 months. He had gone away. He promised over and over and he makes the point here. He says I will come back soon if the Lord will. So you know he is planning to come back and his his. His coming back. you know, again will be for a purpose. He's, he's making the purpose that if I come, uh, I will come to you shortly if the Lord will and will know not the speech of them, which are puffed up, but the power In other words, these folks, you know, they were saying a lot of things. The idea that, again, there can be a lot of teachers, but he would come back as a loving father and he would demonstrate the power of Christ. He had been the example to them. He was sending Timothy to them to be the example, to continue the example that he set. And when he came back, he would continue to be that example. And again, understanding that, you know, he's not saying that there's no power. The power in particular is in the word of God, not the word of men. The word of God is powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword. So God's word is powerful. And so as we share God's word, as we share truth, as we live truth, that will be powerful. And you know, faith without works is dead. So, you know, again, it's hypocrisy to say one thing and not demonstrate it. And kids can see that in us. Kids pick up on hypocrisy very, very quickly. And so it is, you know, Paul is saying here that when he comes he will demonstrate Christlikeness. He will demonstrate the power of Christ in his life, not just the words. He would demonstrate the power of Christ. And then he goes on in verse 21, what will ye? Shall I come unto you with a rod or in love in the spirit of meekness? You know, again, Paul was making the point that, you know, he would come with chastening. And again, in the church we have what is really the blessing of church discipline, that chastening that is available in the church to help us to understand what is necessary to be conformed to Christlikeness, to be obedient to Christlikeness. And so as Paul speaks that he will be coming with a rod, you know, obviously he wasn't going to be coming there to give these guys a spanking, but it is laid out in scripture that Jesus taught what our discipline responsibility is within the church. And that is what he would be bringing here. As fathers, we don't have, uh, necessarily the same, um, the same methodology for correction, but we do have the responsibility for correction. And he makes the point here again that when he would prefer to come That he would prefer to see repentance. He wants to see them change. He wants to see repentance in their lives, and so he's saying that that hopefully they will repent and as he sees them repenting, then he will be able to come in love and in a spirit of meekness. The idea of a spirit of meekness. Meekness is is a word for gentleness. I've heard it described as strength that is. under self-control, so to speak. It is controlled strength. That's what meekness is. So it's not a timidity. It's not being timid. You know, Paul's not saying that he would never be timid in his coming when folks are being sinful, but that he has challenged them very strongly. He has admonished them very strongly, and He is hoping, praying that they will turn, that they will repent, and that He will be able to come with love and with a spirit of meekness so that He does not have to bring a greater chastening to them, but that His admonishment would be enough and that they would conform to that. Paul said that he didn't want to shame, but to admonish. And that's what a loving father again should do. A loving father disciplines. Paul offers a choice to repent and be restored to a relationship of love and gentleness. That is always our goal as fathers, as spiritual fathers, as biological or family-oriented fathers, that we be corrective. The rod is always corrective. It's not for punishment necessarily, for seeking to punish, but it is for correction. And that was Paul's goal here. He wanted to see correction. He wanted to see change. And so then, As we, being spiritual fathers, being biological or earthly fathers, family oriented fathers, as we set about being a biblical father, and that should again be our goal, that we be a biblical father so that we can work toward heart change rather than just behavioral change. must recognize that there will be people around us, there will be family, there will be friends, even your children will not always understand, they will not always recognize what it is that you are trying to accomplish. As spiritual fathers, as a pastor, you know, his children within the church may not always recognize what it is that he is doing, that, you know, Others on the outside who don't have the same relationship, who don't have that father's love, may not recognize what it is that he's trying to accomplish, what it is that he is doing. But as a biblical father, we can take heart, we can rejoice in knowing that what we are doing is our God-honoring responsibility. It is a God-honoring necessity. We are held to the commands of Scripture. The commands of Scripture are binding on us, and so we are bound to apply church discipline. We are bound to apply the nurture and admonition to our children. We are bound by scripture to do that. It is never a pleasant thing. It is a difficult thing. And others may not always understand, but it is necessary. It is a necessary thing that we do this. And so on days when nothing you do seems right and you spend most of your time dealing with conflict and rebellion, you can remind yourself that what you are doing right there in that moment, though hard, though difficult, though unpleasant, It is exactly what God has called you to do in that moment. It is exactly because God has placed you in that place, in time, in that circumstance, in His sovereignty, you are there dealing with that conflict. And oftentimes, many, many times, in the middle of conflict, in the middle of struggle, That is the place where we cry out for help, where we go to the throne of grace to ask for grace to help in time of need because we cannot do it on our own. We need Christ in our life. We need the wisdom of the scriptures to help in that regard because we cannot do it in our human wisdom. We will fail over and over again as we try to do things in our human wisdom, but only as we begin at the foundation of the scriptures as our authority, with God as our authority, and we teach our children that. You know, telling our children, it's because I said so, really isn't an adequate answer. It's not because I said so, but it's because God says so. And I demonstrate what God says. I try to demonstrate. That should be what we try to do before our children is demonstrate what God says. And so fathers, what is our goal for our children? What is your goal for your children? Whether spiritual, whether in your family, is your goal to look good before others? Is your goal to live vicariously through them? To have them be all that you couldn't be in your upbringing and so be living through them. To live for yourself as others raise your kids. You know, is your goal just to get the kids in the car that they can come to church to learn the Word of God? If so, you are neglecting your responsibility as a father. It is your responsibility given you by God to be training, to be teaching, to be admonishing your children. We certainly have the resources of the church here to help with that. But it is not simply just the church's responsibility to teach your kids biblical truth. It is the father's, the mom's, You know, we've been leaving out the mom an awful lot here, but Titus 2 speaks of mature women teaching the younger women. That is the mother's admonishment, the mother's responsibility in teaching as well. So both have a role in that. It is a one flesh relationship and it is both of their responsibility to teach. Is your goal for your children to see them become successful in the eyes of the world? Think of someone like Tiger Woods. His dad spent years and years teaching him to hit a golf ball. And he does that very well. And it has done great things for him in life. But what has that done for him in eternity? Does that really amount to anything? So what is your goal for your children? Is it earthly-minded or are we kingdom-minded? Is your heart's greatest desire to see your children become disciples of Christ? to live out the gospel before them, to demonstrate the great commission, to see them come to Christ. Is that your heart's desire? To understand that this soul that you brought into this world is eternal. We should understand that with great sobriety. That should be very challenging. And like I said, it carries with it great responsibility, but where there is great responsibility, there is also great blessing. And so is that our goal, that our children become disciples of Christ and that they become like Him, that they follow us to grow, to be more like Him? Is that your goal is your goal that your child follow you as you follow Christ? That as you are with him as you are with them. That they become. Like him as they become like you that as they are with you, they become like you as you become like him. The discipleship model. Is that what you are living out? Is that what you are doing? I hope, I pray for the children of this assembly. Our heart, our goal as spiritual fathers, as we look around and we see the children of this assembly, as we look, as you look at your own kids, there should be great concern. There should be a sense of duty. There should be a sense that we must depend on Christ, that He alone can accomplish the eternal salvation that is only in Him, that is only in what He has done. It is not in conformity to outward behaviors, but it is only in the change in heart that Christ brings that we can see that we have hope in this life and that which is to come. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for the grace that you have shown us in the Lord Jesus Christ. We thank you that you have Provided a way that we may be reconciled to you that though we are born in sin that we are born under the curse. Though we are born. With a depraved heart and mind Lord that we. Can trust and we can hope in Christ. For salvation that we can trust in Christ for salvation. And that that is our only hope. Lord that as we picture in our communion service that we remember what Christ has done. May we live that as disciple makers among the children in our earthly families as well as our spiritual church family. Lord, we desire that you work in and through us to demonstrate, to be disciples of those around us, to demonstrate Christ, to live like him, to live for him, to daily grow in our understanding and our application of truth that we may be like Christ and so that others may be like us as we become like him. Lord we need you. Lord we are totally helpless. We are helpless without your grace. We are helpless without your work, the work of the Holy Spirit. Father, we need your grace. We need your work in our lives. That we might. Be an example to our children. That we would glorify you in that Lord. Lord, we know we see over and over in Scripture where even godly fathers had Unbelieving children. Lord, it is a hard thing. And almost impossible thing to think of children that would not come to Christ and Lord, our only hope is in your grace. And so we pray for your grace in the lives of our kids. The lives of the children of Grace Bible Fellowship. Lord, we pray for your work. Lord, we thank you that we have your truth. and that we have your resources to live your truth as an example that they can see Christ in us. May we in a growing way demonstrate the love of Christ, demonstrate the grace of Christ, that they can see Christ in us, that it would be attractive to them, and Lord, that you would use it to bring them to yourself, that you would use it to bring them to repentance and faith. Lord it is by grace through faith that we are saved and we pray that for our children that by grace through faith that they would know you that they would be in relationship with you. Through the work of Christ that your righteousness would be applied to them. Lord we we beseech you we beg you. In this regard. For our children's sake and for Christ's sake, we pray these things. Amen.