Starting at verse 25, this is the word of the Lord. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting Tom. Much is as good for. as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God and Christ forgave you. Thus far, the word of the Lord. May he bless the application of it to us all. You may be seated. Well, this is the last in our series on marriage, not because everything's been said that could be said, far from it, but because it's time to move on to other things. And I do a series on marriage about every three or four years or so, because there is so much that could be said, could do a marriage series all 52 weeks of the year, every year. But I've titled this one, Speaking Truth and Love. Last Sunday, we saw from the scriptures that Christian marriage is a covenant relationship in which a man and a woman are united as husband and wife in the bonds of unconditional love and faithfulness in Christ. And that's why in the traditional wedding vows, the man says to the woman, I covenant and promise before God and these witnesses to be your loving and faithful husband. And likewise, the woman says to the man, I covenant and promise before God and these witnesses to be your loving and faithful wife. That's because marriage is a covenant and the bonds of the covenant of marriage are love and faithfulness. That love and faithfulness is expressed and communicated by words and by actions. It's a good thing for husbands and wives to reflect occasionally upon their words and deeds and to ask themselves, do my words and actions express and communicate love and faithfulness to my wife or to my husband. So husbands and wives should take care to always speak to one another in truth and in love in such a way that they express and communicate their love and faithfulness to one another. That's the way God designed marriage to be from the beginning. It gets derailed because of sin, but Christian marriage is in fact the restoration of God's original design through the ongoing ministry of Christ by the Holy Spirit and the hearts of Christian husbands and wives. Christian husbands and wives build each other up in love and faithfulness. by their words and deeds that express and communicate love and faithfulness to each other. That holds true for a Christian husband or wife who is married to a non-believer. As he or she expresses and communicates love and faithfulness to the unbelieving spouse by his or her words and deeds, he or she is living according to God's original design for marriage, And the Lord may use that to bring their unbelieving spouse to faith in Christ so that the whole marriage is restored. But the believing spouse can live out his or her part. And God may indeed use that to bring the unbelieving spouse to faith in Christ. Moreover, the mutual love and faithfulness between a Christian husband and wife is used by God to bless many others, beginning with their children, for whom they have provided a context of loving and faithful words and deeds for them to grow up in. It's like their mutual love and faithfulness expressed by their words and deeds forms this environment for their children to grow up in. Likewise, the love and faithfulness between a Christian husband and wife overflows into the lives of unbelieving friends, neighbors, coworkers, and acquaintances, and provides opportunities to speak to them about the love of Christ and to invite them to put their faith in him. As more and more couples come to know Christ, the blessing is multiplied and spreads. And so it is that Christian marriages are a major factor in the spread of the gospel and in bringing the blessings of God to entire communities. So this morning, I want to begin with a little bit of work through Ephesians 4, 25 to 32. And it's a very dense passage, so it's going to be just kind of a quick overview. But it's for the purpose of this matter of our expression. and our communication of love and faithfulness to our spouse. Paul wrote this letter in order to build up the church in Ephesus and their participation in the resurrection life, worship, fellowship, and mission of Christ. In chapter four, Paul is speaking about the life of mutual love and faithfulness within the church as the body of Christ. So, the context here is broader than marriage. He's not specifically speaking about marriage, but it most assuredly includes marriage. And in any case, the body, the church, is the bride of Christ. So, I am taking the general applications Paul makes here and applying them in this sermon, specifically to marriage, so you understand what I'm doing. The context here is broader, but it certainly is inclusive of marriage. So Paul here in verse 25 says, therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Paul uses what has been called the put-off and put on dynamic or the replacement dynamic. That is to say that Christians are to put off the old sinful ways of thinking and speaking and behaving and put on the new Christ-like ways of thinking and speaking and behaving. In other words, it's not enough to just stop sinning. The old sinful ways have to be replaced with new Christ-like ways. So we see in verse 25 that Paul says we must put away speaking falsehood and replace it with speaking the truth. So we need to slow down and think about what we say before we say it and ask ourselves, self, is what you're about to say true? If it's not true, or even if we're not sure whether it's true, then we ought not to say it. Note that Paul says we should behave this way because, quote, we are members of one another. That's because we're fellow members of the one body of Christ. That means that what we say affects others. So we want to be sure to help and build up one another and not tear down and hurt one another. Since in context we're debated this way toward each other in the church as members of one another, how much more are we to do this in our marriages with our spouse? So by way of application of verse 25, we should make it our careful studied habit to put away falsehood and to speak truth to our spouse, to our wife, to our husband. So then, what comes under the heading of falsehood? Number one, anything that isn't true. Get rid of speaking half-truths, partial truths, everybody-says-so truths, Oprah-says-so truths, as well as outright blatant lies. Secondly, anything that has a hidden ulterior motive, such as manipulation. Much falsehood is simply a cover for manipulation to get what we want, such as false accusations. You did such and such, or you didn't do what I asked, or et cetera. Beware saying you always or you never. If you say, you always, you never, you'll always be wrong and you'll never be right. Another form of falsehood is the attempt to manipulate by making your spouse feel sorry for you. Would you do such and such for me, poor me? I'm hurting so bad. Another form of falsehood is the attempt to manipulate by flattery. You are such a wonderful wife. Would you be willing to do this thing for me? A third thing, fear or unwillingness to confront or deal with problems. Your spouse's words and or behavior really hurt you, but you're afraid to say anything. So you cover up your fear or your hurt with false speech. And that can lead to frustration, discouragement, anger, bitterness. So Paul goes on to say in verses 26 to 27, Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. The point here is to deal with offenses quickly before the day is over. The longer you delay and let a matter fester, the more opportunity you give to the devil to stir up evil. So you go to your spouse with a conciliatory attitude, seeking reconciliation. not winning the argument or getting even. Reconciliation, healing is the goal. Versus verse 29, this is a verse that should be memorized. If you used a memory system or if you're presently in a memorization program, this verse, I can practically guarantee you, will be on it. It's a very powerful verse. It's like a one verse summary on godly communication. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Note that there are three aspects of communication here. No corrupt and corrupting talk, talk that builds up, talk that meets the needs of the occasion, and talk that gives grace. I just did that to see if anybody was awake. That's four. That's not three. Yes, four aspects of communication here. My way of application, it's worth it to ask, is what I am about to say healthy or is it corrupt? Because the word there, when it says, let no corrupting talk in, New American Standard says no corrupt communication. That word, it's a rather, it's a vivid word. Think of, Think of a trash can full of all kind of rotten vegetables, decaying fish, other nasty things. And then think of your mouth like that, and you open your mouth and that kind of stuff comes out. And then you kind of get the idea of what it's saying. But it's not only really gross, decaying, nasty, corrupt, vile stuff coming out of your mouth, but it's also a corrupting type of communication. It produces more of it coming out of you toward another person. And we're making applications within marriage here from this more general context. If that kind of stuff comes out of your mouth, guaranteed it's going to bring forth some of the same from your spouse, or it likely will, unless your spouse is handling it in the right way. So we can ask him, is what I'm about to say a healthy form? Is it a health giving? Is it a life giving? communication. Are these healthy words? If they're not, we ought not to say them. If they're, in fact, garbage words, if it's garbage communication, corrupt and corrupting communication, then throw it into the garbage where it belongs. Don't speak it forth. Then you can ask, as to that second application, what can I say that will actually build up my wife or wives, your husband? What does he or she need right now? Because it's according to the need. Timing is of critical importance. I mean, many times we say the right thing, we just totally said it at the wrong time. So timing is important. What is the great need of my spouse in this particular moment? And we can ask, what can I say that will be used by God to minister grace to my spouse? Think about that. It says, no corrupting talk, only such as good for building up as fits the occasion. that it may give grace to those who hear." What an extraordinary thing. You can be a vessel of God's grace to minister grace to your spouse at her or his particular point of need at that moment. or it can go the other way and corrupting garbage can come out of your mouth. So it's worth it to take a moment to check yourself, especially if it's a tense situation, especially if it's gotten into conflict and you're looking for a way out, ask yourself, What can I say that will be used by God to actually minister grace? That leads us to verses 30 to 32, where he says, do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. That is, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Those are things that grieve the Holy Spirit. Those are things that produce what Paul elsewhere describes as being a quenching of the Holy Spirit. But rather, he says in verse 32, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God and Christ forgave you. Well, you see, that's the kind of words that the Spirit of God can use and empower to communicate grace. according to the need of your spouse in that particular moment, in that particular circumstance or situation. And once again, God can work through your words to minister grace, to minister kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, healing, reconciliation. It can give grace to those who hear. Paul here is talking about the practical down-to-earth application of the gospel. The Spirit of God breathes the gospel into us, into our hearts. Our hearts are regenerated. We are renewed in the inner person. That's what comes from outside of us into us. So then how do we communicate that? We can't breathe the Spirit of God into anybody. We can't breathe the gospel into anybody. but we can speak gospel words, and they go forth on our breath. And the Spirit of God can use those gospel words, words of grace, words that communicate God's gospel love in Christ with the actual presentation of the gospel, but also To those who know Christ, words of forgiveness and of healing and of restoration. Words that build up according to the need of the moment. So Paul says to get rid of all the garbage speech and replace it with kindness and tenderheartedness and forgiveness. forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgives us. Thus far, the application of the word of God.