Let us hear God's Word. We read from Ephesians chapter 5 as we have come through this amazing letter, this masterpiece of the Apostle Paul with the very authority of Christ. We read, beginning with verse 18 of chapter 5, the last part, it says, Be filled with the Spirit. addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior." Verse 24, Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, radiant, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound. And I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Now, we have this before us, and I think quite often the approach is quite different than what really Paul takes here. Quite often, the approach is to take different phrases here and pound them home. And maybe the one phrase that you've all been in churches, evangelical, reformed, good, solid, Bible-believing, teaching churches, and what will be pounded home almost as you begin this is, wives, submit to your husbands. I don't believe that's really what Paul is doing here. He is saying that, but he's saying that with a very different approach than merely taking a proof text and pounding this home. I believe it's very important here to see how Paul approaches things. This is a letter that is really dealing with relationships. He's come to what we might call the crux of this letter, relationships of husbands and wives. He's come to deal with the relationship of parents and their children. He's come to deal with that which is in the workplace, everyday life. The bond servants and their masters, employers and the employees, he's come to deal with that which has to do with the filling of the spirit and submitting one to another, as Paul has presented this in context. But there's even a bigger context. What is his approach? Now, especially when we think of men and women, it's almost like the time to make jokes. How different they are. Who can understand Venus? Who can understand Mars? They're so different. And everyone wants to kind of make fun of it all. Paul doesn't. Paul takes this very seriously. And I believe he gives to us chapter 1 with a preparation of God's amazing love Chapter 2 in this letter, he unfolds this amazing story of grace, God's grace, and that there's no separation between Jews and Gentiles. That's an amazing statement. That they are one in Christ. He further comes along for us, and he has this in chapter 3, we are all fellow heirs. members of the same body, partakers of a promise in Christ Jesus through the Gospel. Then he goes on and he says, we're to walk in the manner of what we have been called to be with humility and with patience with each other. Mutual submission to each other. He has all of this to be introducing this. Chapter 5, he even says something that's pretty shocking. He says, you're to be imitating God. I think he has something there. In fact, read that with me. He says, therefore, be imitators of God as beloved children. And walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. There's something here he's saying that reflects the very image of God in these relationships, and especially in this relationship of a husband and wife in this married relationship. There's something here of great importance of how Paul approaches this. Who are you? He's saying you're made in God's image. Your very relationship here shows forth who God is. Very important. Paul really rejects the whole way it would seem of the world to have debates. A party spirit. Who is right? How can you put down that person? And we have the proof text to put down that person. My proof texts are longer than your proof texts. And we end up without really understanding the big picture of these things. Paul approaches things not debating, but he approaches them with all of the glory of God's majesty as being shown forth in these relationships. He has that background, this filling of the Spirit of God in the Christian is to be done in the fear of Christ. And so, as he rejects this, he puts it in a context. And if you read carefully, there's the background of these verses we've read of God's creation of marriage itself, of that relationship of a man and a woman. There is that background of the cross, who gave Himself up for her. His great love at the cross is at the very center of what marriage is all about. And then that is what really the covenant, God's covenant with His people. There is that background that's so special for all of that. So that there is this creation background, the cross background, and yes, a covenant that is between a husband and wife. That is the bigger approach, the bigger picture of these things. So as you look at this with me, Paul doesn't lose his temper. The Apostle Paul, he doesn't do name calling, which is not according to the filling of the spirit. He is functioning with the filling of the spirit for these relationships, not a partisan spirit, but rather this Holy Spirit is to be that which controls. God's people. So this is really an amazing letter for our culture, for our time, for today. So I want to start with that of creation itself. Creation. Isn't there a sense in which when we look back at those first couple of chapters, there is the king and the queen in all their beauty? They come marching forth. There is that which is just innocency and beauty reflecting God's splendor, His majesty. Yes, we read He made male and female in His image. Not just one or the other, but there's something shown forth in profoundness. There, God's image is given to us. He made them male and female in His image. God's image. God's representatives. To mirror who He is in all of creation, there over creation, as His representatives. There, they reflect, they mirror His wonderful image. for all creation to see His glory. There is something very special with marriage. And it shows us also God's love. Remember how it begins. Here is that first song. It's a wedding song. Read with me those words. They're very special words. We love those words as words of God's amazing gift of married love. In Genesis chapter 2, there, those words, man says, this at last is what? Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. And there is this sense, he speaks of how the two shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. God's love. There's something there. that is in this wonderful picture that God gives to us. Bone of my bone, male and female in His image, mirrors His love and glory to the whole of creation itself. What an amazing point of time. Creation. And yet, I think there's even something there of God's oneness. The two are made one flesh. There's something of a wonder in all. And isn't it interesting, just as we think we're now to the practical part of Paul's letter, we're dealing with the relationships and this is the practical part. And he's already dealt with great, deep theology in chapters one, two, three. And now he begins with four and five to enter into that which is practical. And suddenly he says in this passage when he's talking about these practical relationships, he has this This element, verse 32 of chapter 5, this mystery is profound. And I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church. So there's something even in the midst of His application and the practical things of relationships, profound doctrine. Now, we have a cross. that's certainly embedded in this whole passage of Scripture. Notice, verse 23, it has, He's the Savior. Or verse 25, it speaks of how He loved, pointing us back to the cross, or gave Himself up for her, the Church. It's not some kind of a formula. It's not a slogan of doctrine. But it points us back to this great historic moment when He gave Himself up for her, the church, His body. There is that submission element. The wife called upon to submit to her husband. Now, I think it's good for us to be reminded, even in this big approach to this, that it's not a submission that is absolute. It's not to submit to sin or something that would be contrary to the design of that beautiful marriage institution that God has given. It's never right to do wrong. It's never right to sin. It's never right to disobey God. Just as the apostles said very clearly, they had to obey God rather than men. And there is that sense in which that which would be contrary to God's design would not be right in that relationship. And yet the apostle has this element of respect and reverence that's spoken of there. And even when it's spoken of of those who would be with an unbelieving husband, as Peter speaks of it in chapter 3 of 1 Peter, that even there, they are to show that submission, they are to show that respectful, reverent spirit that they through and without words would gain their husband. It is given even in that context that is one of great importance, even with an unbelieving husband, there is to be this reverence and respect. But notice also with this element of the cross that Paul actually devotes nine verses. There's only three to the wife, but there's a whole section, how important for the husband to realize this love of Christ that is so essential. It's not a demanding love. It's not a forced love. It's a sacrificial love. It's an initiating love. It's a voluntary love. He lays down his life for his sheep. He gives up, not because he's forced to, but because he wants to. He lays down his life. He gave himself up for her. It's a love that sanctifies her, as Paul says. It washes her, cleanses her by the Word. It makes her, and I love the translation that has the element not only of splendor, but of radiance. There is something beautiful. You know, I have had the privilege in so many weddings of being one who could be right up front and see the bride at that moment of being married. And there's a radiance. There's almost a blushing all the way down to the shoulders. There's this joy. And that's what Christ, He gives Himself up to make His church radiant, joyful, glorious. It's a love that comes with such power. And isn't there something there of even a reflection of God's love for Himself in that Holy Trinity? He is the one who perfectly loves himself, father, son and Holy Spirit. Isn't there a beauty when we read in John, chapter five, verse 20? And I think it's significant that it says, and the father. The Father has this affection for the Son. It's not an unconditional love for a sinner out there, but rather, within the Trinity, there is an affectionate, real, eternal love for one another. I and the Father are one, Jesus said. There is something of oneness there. It's a love that is amazing. But when we think specifically of the cross, Christ, yes, died for our sins, but there is that sense in which also it was the Passover day. It was the great day in which the people of God had been freed from slavery and they were to go now with freedom out of all their slavery, their addiction to work that was but a slavery, they were now able to freely work and to serve and enjoy. They were freed. And there is that beauty that we have in the book that we're reading now of Ephesians chapter one. It speaks of how the purpose of of God's redemption is to unite all things in heaven and earth as a plan and to bring all those things together. Or as the book of Galatians begins, we have that grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ who gave Himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age according to the will of our God and Father to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. So there is this love of God that is so amazing that it comes and it frees us from our slavery. It's a love that comes with the very cross of Christ and frees us to live for Him. Now, this little book that we're reading, Ephesians, this little letter, I think in most of your Bibles, if you count them, it's five pages. Unless you have one of those, study the Bibles, it has more notes than it actually has Scripture. It might go on further. Five pages. If you take all of Paul's letters, if you stretch them out a little bit, you might come up with 80 pages. And it's an amazing thing that the writings of the Apostle Paul have brought forth more books, commentaries, sermons, studies, disagreements, theories, all kinds of literature that has been written than all the rest of ancient literature combined. There's something amazing. The very Word of Jesus Christ comes in power. We can safely say that this is the Word of God and it comes to us with that sacrificial love that we are called upon as husbands to realize in our marriages. Husbands, it says with clarity, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Read with me those words of Philippians chapter 2. It's part of what we would call almost a hymn Philippians 2, verse 8, Paul says, do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also the interests of others. And in these words, have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men, and being found in human form. He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." It wasn't one, two, three, it's all easy for me. There was something here beyond our comprehension, his loving and giving himself up for his church, for his bride. We remember Gethsemane, the sweating, the horror of all of this. And what does he say? Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done. How important is that? What do we do as husbands, as men who have been put in a position of leadership? We get tired, do you? Are there times when, as the psalmist says, I'd like to flee like a bird and get away from it all? Give me that vacation forever, somewhere. I've fouled up. I've made mistakes. They've criticized me. And they're right. Let me flee like a bird. And it's easy to give in to temptation. Those are the very moments that men get in trouble. They try to numb themselves with something that they know is wrong. They have an escapism. I would guess women might do that too. But somehow or another, it's a real temptation for men. Oh, that God would give us that understanding there is no shelter but the Lord himself. He will give strength through the difficulties. It's not that the difficulties disappear. But rather, He gives us the strength to go through those difficulties. He will never leave us nor forsake us. He has promised. But then what happened to the disciples? Do you remember that when everything didn't look like they thought it was going to be? In John 6, it's one of those chapters of when everyone's leaving off, the crowds are leaving Jesus, and He's the one left with His little group, little flock. And he says to them, will you also go away? Are you going to escape? Are you going to take the easy way out? And they respond to him, where else can we go? You alone have the words of eternal life. There's only one shelter that's forever. The Lord Jesus Christ. So as we think of that relationship we have with Him, He really is our husband as the flock of God. He really is the one who is covenant to love us always. As husbands, we need a shepherd. As husbands, we need one who will be a husband to us. The Lord has promised that. So that not only in creation do we see something of God's glory reflected in marriage, and at the cross we see a mirror of His glory, His image, but also in His covenant with His people. I think there was a young couple yesterday that had vows one to another. Sacred vows before God Those vows give very much meaning to God's covenant of marriage. Those historic vows that we've used dozens and dozens and dozens of times. Something along these lines. Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, Keep yourself only unto her, so long as you both shall live." Husbands, how many of you remember what you said then? All together, I will, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part according to God's holy ordinance, I give to you my faithfulness. That's covenantal. That's a covenant. A covenant has great blessings to keep that covenant. Yes. To break that covenant brings curses down upon that which is to reflect the very glory of God, the good news of Jesus Christ, that which is to reflect and mirror to the world the gospel, who God is, His image. When that is shattered, there's damage done. Marriage, remember this, is God's institution. It is not an invention of men. Secondly, it's God who assigns the roles of men and women, husbands and wives. It's God who has designed it, and he knows what he's doing. Even before the fall, some somehow or another think, well, these roles are after the fall of man. No, they are not. Read carefully. We have those creation ordinances. Yes, of work, of marriage, and of rest given before the fall. All of life is to be under this covenant and show forth the gospel. Now, sometimes it's that which we think somehow or another This man marries this woman because she's so beautiful. The reality is, God has married us not because we are so beautiful, but because He has loved us. And He's going to make us beautiful in His Son, Jesus Christ. We are beautiful. So how important it is that He loves us, present tense, and He is making us beautiful in His Son. He loves us to make us beautiful. And we have that wonder and awe in Jesus Christ. Now, just a word, a very practical word to husbands this morning, those who will be husbands. I would like to recommend three things for you to study through the years and have on your mind and know what they're saying. God's Word gives instruction to husbands. I believe we have the book of Proverbs. The first seven or eight chapters are devoted, very direct information, talking very directly to husbands, young men especially, and old, how to beware of adultery. You read it page after page. It's very clear. It says, watch out! This is dangerous. This will bring destruction. Read those chapters, not just one verse and another one over there. I like that one. There's Proverbs, you know, you can kind of read and they're kind of neat. But this Proverbs is like a father speaking to his son and saying, watch out, this is serious stuff. It'll destroy you, your family, all that you really love, all that's worth life. Second, we've been reading with a group of men about old George Whitfield, the great evangelist of the 18th century, his tremendous preaching. But these guys, they were really messed up in their understanding of marriage. Forgive me if you worship George Whitfield, but I think he was really messed up. He talked about having something of a warm, I mean, She really loved this other guy. And but he thought if if and they both loved each other, but if if, hey, you know, if she would marry Whitfield, then he could give himself more full time to ministry. And Whitfield didn't want to marry anyone unless just in case they might take away from his preaching time. He didn't want that to happen at all. And he did have a she wasn't real good looking, he said, but he did have a warm affection for her. I mean, you know, you read this chapter and it's like, man, They're messed up. If you read the book of the Song of Solomon, there was a passionate love that was there. That's biblical. So I'd recommend looking at that and seeing it's not warm affection. It's something that is passionate love in the Song of Solomon. That's what is married love. And then we read Psalm 75 earlier. a psalm of a wedding song. And I would recommend to you as a husband and wife to have that appreciation for each other that is very real. There's something there that's so special. in that psalm of how the wife recognizes her husband and that love for him. And likewise, the husband recognizing the wife. There is appreciation and a love for one another in that psalm. At the very core of this is God's, His image, His love, His splendor, Christ's Church. Do you know where Evangelism really does need to take place in a powerful way to our children. It takes place in that husband-wife relationship. There is reflected God's love. There is who loved her and gave himself up for her. There is the cross. So I would emphasize the importance of evangelism in our homes. Husbands and wives loving each other, mutually submitting to each other, and showing forth the gospel. How easy it is to read those words, submit wives, love husbands, and you end up with a leadership sometimes of nothing more than a couch potato that somehow or another is almost like a Arabic prince telling his wife and his children what to do constantly and almost a fearfulness in the home. That's a perversion, a twisting of God's wonderful, beautiful picture of the gospel and of his image. And we must beware of that. Let me read just a quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who spent the last couple years of his life in a Nazi prison, and then was hung at the end of that time, just before the Allied forces came into Germany for the victory. And at that time, he wrote a wedding sermon and had it sent out to a dear friend of his on in May 1943. It's what's called the wedding sermon from a prison cell on Psalm 45. Let me give you just a few words from that. It shows us how there is a mirror to see the glory of God in marriage. To see his love and his image, Bonhoeffer writes, Now, when the husband is called the head of the wife, and it goes on to say, as Christ is the head of the church, something of the divine splendor is reflected in our earthly relationships. And this reflection we should recognize and honor. The dignity that is here ascribed to the man lies not in his capacities or qualities of his own. but in the office conferred on him by his marriage. The wife should see her husband clothed in this dignity. But for him, it is he who is responsible for his wife, for their marriage, and for their home. On him falls the care and protection of the family. He represents it to the outside world. He is its mainstay and comfort. who exhorts, helps, comforts, and stands for it before God. So men, husbands, you have a responsibility that is great. But maybe we should say a privilege, a joy that is great and glorious. This covenantal love. We had just not that a few Weeks ago we had the renewal of vows of the Kithongas of ten years. We had a wedding yesterday here at Cornerstone. A renewing of vows. Something that can be very special. Should not husbands, should we not be those who renew our vows to God and before our families? on a constant way. We have Holy Communion next Sunday. We come before the Lord. We renew ourselves afresh to stand and be what God has called us to be. As husbands, there is a place for us to look at creation and see what marriage is all about. To see at the cross what this great love is all about. And to rehearse afresh in our own hearts that covenant love that we are to have for our wife, our family. Let's bow before the Lord and ask for His working in our hearts and lives as families. As we would be in prayer before God, I would ask, who would renew their vows before the Lord? All of us that we would renew ourselves before the Lord. a song that meant a great deal to me some years back. Don Francisco would sing, and let me read this to you as you think of renewing your vows as husbands, as wives. And the vow, I could never promise you on just my strength alone that all my life I'd care for you and love you as my own. I've never known the future. I only see today. Words that last a lifetime would be more than I could say. But the love inside my heart today is more than mine alone. Never changes, never fails and never seeks its own. And by the God who gives it and who lives in me and you, I know the words I speak today are words I'm going to do. So I stand before you now. for all to hear and see, and I promise you in Jesus' name, a love He's given me, and through the years on earth and as eternity goes by, the life and love He's given us are never going to die. Father, we do ask for that renewing work of your Holy Spirit, that we would renew our vows to you, O Lord, that we would serve you with all our heart that You would rid our hearts of that lukewarmness, that You would give to husbands and wives a passionate love for one another, that You would give to husbands and wives a sense of there being gospel, truth in their homes, in their workplaces, in their communities, everywhere. Oh, Lord, as a church, our great prayer is that we would show forth Your image your glory, the good news of Christ our Savior. Father, we ask that you would renew our hearts this day. Give us something of a sense of loving each other unconditionally, even as we think of the cross, who gave himself up for her, his bride, the church, his body. Help us as husbands, Lord, to know what it is to sacrifice to initiate, to care for, to protect, to love our wives as Christ has loved the Church. We pray, O Lord, You'd hold us fast that You would work in us Your will. We thank You for that call to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. And we do believe You have promised to work in us both the will and the do of your good pleasure. We ask now, Lord, for your blessing upon our singing. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.