Bible reading is just going to be two verses, verse 34 and verse number 35 of John chapter 13. Verse 34, A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another, as I have loved you, that ye also love one another by this shall all men know that you're my disciples if you have love one to another amen well in the bible reading they're just at the end of those two verses i'm going to seek the lord Our Father, this morning, as we come to the Scriptures and have our Bibles open before us, we ask that you would give to each of us humble hearts to receive your Word, that we would be like those of old that received your Word as it is in truth, the Word of God, and that we would search the Scriptures, and that you, by your Spirit, would apply it to every heart. We ask in Jesus' name. Amen. I want this morning to draw your attention to a little two-word phrase that we find in verse number 34. You'll actually find the phrase used three times in these verses. And it is that little two-word phrase, one another. You see it at the end of verse 34, one another. And then in verse number 35, one to another. That little phrase, one another, ends up being a prominent theme in all of the New Testament, especially in the context of the early church. It's going to be impossible for us to consider all of these. But the Holy Spirit directs the biblical writers to use this phrase 59 times in connection to specific commands that are given to the Church of Jesus Christ. If you were to take the time to study these 59 occurrences, these 59 commands, you'll find that they form a vast and extensive network of commands that govern the affections, the attitudes, and the actions that we are to have toward one another in the body of Christ as a whole, the body of Christ at large, but I would argue in the local church specifically. One of the difficult things about studying the Bible is that when you read the Bible, and you actually try to pay attention to what the Bible says, and you actually try to obey what the Bible says, you end up finding so many things in your life that need to change. We are naturally unbiblical. That is the default of the human heart. We are unbiblical in our affections, unbiblical in our attitudes, and unbiblical in our actions. But when the searchlight of Scripture is turned on in your heart, you'll immediately see so many ways that you are deficient in your conformity to Scripture. You don't love right. You don't think right. and you don't act right. It's inconvenient to change, but we must change. We must constantly be being conformed to what the Bible teaches us. We must constantly be being conformed to the image of Christ. Martin Lloyd-Jones said, orthodoxy is essential, but it's not enough. Orthodoxy is essential, but it's not enough. It's not sufficient. You can pride yourself on theological accuracy, and you should, but sound theology can't exist in a vacuum. Sound theology must produce sound practice. It must produce sound living, or as I've used the phrase already, it must produce right affections, attitudes, and actions. All 59 of the one and other commands in the New Testament combine really to give us a framework to teach us what right practice actually looks like. They form a framework for us understanding in our daily life how we are to behave as Christians among one another in our affections, our attitudes, and in our actions. As some in the church have coined the phrase, one-anothering is something that cannot be done in the pew. The one-anothering that the New Testament speaks of is done in the church lobby. It's done standing between the rows before and after the service. It's done in each other's homes. It's done at the coffee shop. It's done at the park. It's done over the phone. And it's done over the text messages that we would send one to another. One-anothering really is just simply real life Christianity. That's what it is. So this one-anothering, it puts away, it puts off any kind of me first inward-looking type of mindset, and replaces it with an outward-looking mindset at the needs of others, the needs of the others that are around you. Too many people in the church today are only consumers. The modern church has been built around the affections, attitudes, and actions of the consumer. They can show up, contribute nothing, leave, and nothing's different whether they were there or not. Nothing has changed. They produce very little to the wider scope of real church. They show up, but they don't help. They attend church, but they really have no impact on anyone further than the few in front of them or the few behind them. They come in as the song is sung, and they leave before it's over. simply consumers not producing anything of real Christianity among the body of Christ. But as we search the scriptures in the context of these one another passages that we'll see, what we see is a willingness to be involved in the everyday messy life of everybody that's around us. Paul David Tripp wrote a book about relationships. The title of the book is Relationships, A Mess Worth Making. It's true. Life is messy. We try to pretend like we're all sanitized and cleaned up. We try to pretend like we have it all together and we come to church and we nod and we smile and we're not supposed to be messed up, but we're sinners and we're messed up. We're just a mess. And one anothering, as we find it in the New Testament, contributes to helping one another with the mess of life. So as we look at these commandments this morning, we'll see that it involves us being outside of ourselves, outside of our own little shells, outside of our own comfort zones, and really and truly involved in the lives of one another. Teaching and admonishing one another. Helping one another. Edifying one another. Comforting and encouraging one another. simply stated as Christ says it here in John chapter 13, loving one another. And so I want to preach to you this morning on the subject of the one another's of a healthy church. That's the title of the message this morning. The title of this morning's message is the one another's of a healthy church, part one. You may guess the title of tonight's message, part two. the one and others of a healthy church. So my intention this morning is to preach to you points one and two of this message. and then this evening preach to you the third point of the message, but hopefully before the end to tie things together, and then this evening get a running start into point number three. But I've already given you my outline. It's impossible for us to look at all 59 of these in the New Testament, so I have made an attempt to put them into categories, and those categories I've already told you. So I'll give you my outline again, for those of you that take notes, and then we'll break this down individually. So we're gonna begin by looking at our affections toward one another, and then we'll look at our attitudes toward one another, and then, Lord willing, this evening, our actions toward one another. You'll find that there is overlap, and you might disagree with how I've categorized things, but I've made an effort to try to present what this massive biblical theme is in something that's digestible for us all. So we'll begin, point number one, with our affections toward one another. And there are three major verses that I will give you here. I don't want this message to turn into a congregational sword drill. So, at your leisure, you can pull up the various passages that we turn to, write them down, study them later, but we'll deal with these as they come. John 13, verse 34. is where we begin a new commandment, I give unto you that ye love one another. So love is definitely one of the affections that we must have toward one another. This particular command to love one another is the foundation of the other 58. It is the bedrock of them all. As the Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13, the greatest of these is love. So foundational that this love one another phrase occurs 16 times. Now I told you there's 59. The 16 are not part of the 59. There are 59 individual commands. It just so happens that this one is repeated 16 times in the scriptures. Many of the other ones are repeated more than once as well. Romans 12.10 is another passage. Paul writes there, be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love. Obviously there's some overlap with love, being kindly affectioned one to another. And then Ephesians 4.32, and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, that's the word, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. And so the affections, if you're making a list of those, are the affections of love, of kindness, and of tenderheartedness. Many have falsely identified love as a feeling. And so it's something that you can fall in and out of. It's something that comes and goes. But I think most of us already know that love is not merely a feeling, but instead love is a conscious choice. Love is a choice that you make. When you get married, you choose for better or for worse. for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. You have made a choice to love and stay committed to that one that you have chosen to love. And so if you understand rightly that love is a choice, then you can understand why God must command us to love one another. God cannot command the lesser. He must command of us the greater thing. And so he commands us to love one another. Another thing that we have to remember about love is that it is so unnatural to the human heart that we must be commanded to do it. And we must be commanded over and over to do it. So of all these one another's, 16 times we have the command to love one another. Left to ourselves, we practice the opposite of love. Some would say that the opposite of love is hate, but it really is not. There's a famous Holocaust survivor named Elie Wiesel, who is famous for having said, the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. I think it's a powerful quotation. Elie Wiesel is a Jew, obviously he's not a believer in Christ, but I believe what he has said is right. Hate is obviously an opposite affection of love, But perhaps indifference is worse. And here's what I mean. With hatred, at least there's some objective thing or problem that is pointed out that is hated. There is something that is identified as a reason for hate. And theoretically, that hated issue can be changed, and theoretically, reconciliation is possible. But with indifference, it's as if the other person does not even exist. It's as if they're not even there. They are completely ignored. In the body of Christ, we cannot be indifferent toward one another. We can't have that affection in our heart, the affection of indifference. Paul writes in Romans 12.10 that we must be kindly affectioned one toward another. That phrase kindly affectioned in Greek is the word Philadelphia. It comes from the Greek verb for love, phileo, that brotherly love. And we're told in Hebrews 13.1 that we are to let this kind of love, we are to let this brotherly love continue. It is to flow from us. It is to be ongoing toward one another. To be indifferent. is to not care what anybody else in the church is going through. It is to be oblivious to their needs. It is to never give a thought to what's going on in the life of your brothers and sisters in Christ. I would ask you to think about this just in the privacy of your own heart. How many times during this past week Did you think about others in the congregation? Look back through your text messages. Did you have any communication with anybody in the church? Who in this congregation did you pray for this past week? Who did you check on? Whose life did you interact with in brotherly love, in kind affection? one to another? Who is it that you care about? Or is your attitude really one that is much more in line with indifference? Look back at John 13 when the Lord says here, a new commandment I give unto you that you love one another as I have loved you. This is not a new commandment in the sense that nobody had ever known this before. This wasn't news to the disciples. There wasn't a disciple in the room that was like, what? I didn't know that I was supposed to love one another. I didn't know that. This isn't new in that sense. Renewed, perhaps, is the better idea to use. I heard one preacher illustrate it with a sunrise. Every morning there's a new sunrise, but it's the same sun. It's the same sun that comes over the horizon, but it's new every day. And in that, this commandment, the Lord has repeated to his disciples, I want to remind you of this truth. You are to love one another as I have loved you. The command to love one another was a command that was in the Garden of Eden. But it's a command that needs to be renewed to our heart so often, because as I've said, The natural man, the fallen human heart, is so prone to not love, to be indifferent, to be self-centered rather than to love one another. It's also very important for us to understand in this context when Jesus said these words to his disciples, when he said, love one another, his disciples' feet weren't even good and dry yet. He had just washed his disciples' feet And if we understand what the Lord has done here, he washed 24 feet that day. He washed the feet of the 10 disciples that just in a few hours were gonna forsake him and flee. They're gonna run for their life. He washed those feet. He washed Peter's feet, who around the campfire would deny him with cursings. He washed Peter's feet. He washed Judas' feet. the one that would come and betray him with a kiss and sell him for 30 pieces of silver that was the mere price of a slave. He loved them all. And you see a window into Christ's affections. John, by inspiration, turned, I don't know if it's on the same page in your Bible, back a page to verse number one of John chapter 13. We see something of Christ's affections, and you notice this is not in red letters, if you have a red letter Bible. These are the words of Jesus. This is the Holy Spirit's commentary through the apostle John, verse one. Now, before the feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew his hour was come, that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end. He loved them all the way. He loved them totally. He loved them completely. He loved them all the way to the cross. And we see the King of kings and the Lord of lords stooping to wash the feet of his servants, even those that would stab him in the back, even those that would betray him, even those that would sin against him. He loved them. He loved them. He demonstrated this love all the way to the cross. And Christ's love for us teaches us how we are to love one another. It's easy. It's easy enough to love somebody that loves you back. That's easy to do. That's no problem at all. But it's much harder to love those who frustrate us. It's much harder to love those that have sinned against us. It's harder to love those who have sinned against those that we love. It's hard to love those that are actively in sin and won't repent of it. It's hard to love those people. It's hard to love the ones that we think are weird and awkward. It's hard to love them. It's hard to love the ones that we find annoying. It's hard to love them. It's hard for older teenagers to love younger kids that they think are immature and annoying. But they have to love them. Real Christian love is just hard. It's just hard to do. But yet the gospel commands it. It commands us to love the unlovely. It demands of us sacrifice. And this loving affection that we have one to another is a tenderheartedness. That's as it's phrased there in Ephesians 4 verse 32. It's a love that is tenderhearted. That same word, that particular word is only used twice in the New Testament. It's used there in Ephesians 4, 32. And it's also used in 1 Peter 3, 8. But in 1 Peter 3, 8, it's translated a different way. It's not translated as tenderhearted. It's translated as pitiful. And the idea there, it's, I think I can illustrate it this way, it's the affection that, it's the affection of pity that a mother would have toward her child that she loves with all her heart. because she knows that child can't take care of itself. That child can't do what it needs to do, and the mother is tender-hearted toward that child, understanding that child's limitations, and understanding the help and care that that child needs to go forward, and so she has pity on that child. Now, the illustration's gonna break down, because I don't want you to think in the same line of thought in relationship to us with one another. This tenderheartedness, this pity, I don't want to give the wrong impression of that word, it's not in any way a condescending pity. It's not a, you are lesser than me and I have to help you to bring you up to my level. If that's what you're thinking, you're all completely arrogant and wrong and that's not at all the idea. But it's a pity understanding the frailty of human flesh, a tender heartedness that we have one toward another, realizing and understanding, you're going to do me wrong. I pity you for that. But I'm going to do you wrong too. and we're in this together, and this relationship thing, this Christian love thing that we're trying to do here, it's really hard. And I'm gonna mess it up, and you're gonna mess it up, but we're gonna do the best we can to love one another. And when you mess up, I'm gonna have pity on you, and when I mess up, please have pity on me, and we're just gonna try to love each other. We're tenderhearted, we're sensitive, we're caring for one another. Because we're just fallen sinners trying to do the best we can to love one another. If we do this, if we get in line with what the Lord has commanded us here about our affections. And so that's a summary of the affections that we are to have one for another. I wanna move on now to our attitudes. And as I said, obviously, there's going to be some overlap, because some of these attitudes also involve affections, and our affections also are attitudes. But I label it as affections, because it really love, that whole theme, becomes the foundation of it all. Without that, we can't do anything else in this. Or if we attempted, it's fake. And so we have to have those right affections toward one another. And then another category that we'll look at is that of attitudes. And so Romans 12.10, we've looked at that verse already. I didn't read the last part of it. But the end of Romans 12.10 says, in honor of preferring one another. But I want you to turn to Philippians 2. There's a more full expression of this command. And so the first attitude that we're to have one toward another is to consider others better than ourselves. That's the first attitude that I put before you. Consider others better than yourself. Philippians 2, look at verse 3. Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory, but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem other better than themselves. look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." And so you see that there, let each esteem other better than themselves. Now, what's Paul talking about here? What does this look like? This is not a false humility. I've tried to think of a way how to illustrate this. I hope this doesn't come across as just stupid. What does this mean? Let each esteem others better than themselves. So we take Jim Messer. Jim is not supposed to think that Darren Boggess is a better doctor than he is. Darren, you're not a doctor. I'm sorry to let you down. But Darren is not to have this humility that Jim is way better at banking than he is. That's not what we're talking about. John Yarborough is not supposed to think that Lydia is a better house builder than he is. That's not this weird false humility of, oh, he's better at that than me, I'm no good at anything. That's not what it's talking about. And you understand that. So I try to illustrate that with a way that's just ridiculous to make us understand the point. But the demand here is a real, spiritual, a real and sincere spiritual humility. It's the humility of heart that would lead Paul to write that he is the chief of sinners. It's a humility that would lead Paul to write that he is less than the least of all saints. That real humility of heart to understand his place and his position before the Lord, I'm wretched. I'm a worse sinner than the other brothers and sisters around me. That kind of spiritual humility. But you know, there's a sense in which every single one of us should have a little bit of the attitude that, you know, when I get to heaven, I need to have a word with Paul. Because he got it wrong, right? It was me. I'm the chief. We should be arguing with Paul. as to who wins first place in that prize. But unless you have a real firsthand knowledge of another person's character in a given matter, then you are to esteem them better than yourself. You are to spiritually assume, they probably have more victory over this sin than I do. I know my propensity to sin here, I know how easy it is for me to fall in this, and they probably don't do that. And so what does it do but put away this arrogant attitude that you're better than everybody else? It puts away a skeptical suspicion of everybody. Just because I would respond this way in that situation doesn't mean that my other brothers and sisters in Christ would have the same sinful response that I would be prone to have. They're probably going to respond way better than me. And that's the idea. But yet at the same time, this isn't a discouraged attitude about ourselves. This isn't, what we read here in the scriptures of letting, of esteeming others better than ourselves, is not something that's to produce in us this Eeyore kind of complex of, you know, I'm no good, everybody's better than me. That's not the point of it either. It's a right humility about self, a right attitude about ourselves, and a hopeful attitude about our neighbor. A loving attitude toward our neighbor. A second one, 1 Peter 5, 5. Turn there if you would. 1 Peter 5, verse 5. A second attitude is that we are to be submissive to one another. 1 Peter 5. and look at verse five. So it says there, likewise ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, and here's the one another, all of you, be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility, for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. The word to look at there is the word subject. ye all of you be subject one to another. It's not the word submission, I'll grant you that, but look at the context. Likewise, you younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Let me summarize it for you. All of you. be subject one to another. That's what Peter is communicating here. The command for the younger among us to be submissive to the elders among us is true. Younger in age, yes. Younger in spiritual maturity, regardless of your birth certificate, yes. Younger in experience and wisdom, again, regardless of your birth certificate, is true. We younger ones are to submit to the elder. And so in the middle of that verse, Peter summarizes what he means, what he's trying to say, all of you be subject one to another. The same word is used back in what we already looked at in Philippians 2.13 that's translated as lowliness of mind. it's the same Greek word, that this same word be subject one to another is translated in Colossians as humbleness of mind. a submission to one another, meaning that we're not to try to lord over one another. We're not to try to dominate one another. We're trying to have a submissive attitude toward one another. And this is going to show up, and there's going to be so much overlap with this, with what we look at this evening in the actions that we're to have. But our attitude here is something that we really should always be mindful of, because it really is just an expression of our obedience to the fifth commandment, of honoring our father and mother as the commandment is stated in the text. but understanding our position, understanding our relationship with one another as superiors, inferiors, and equals, and understanding how we fit in relationship one with another, and submitting ourselves one to another, and having this right attitude of one another, that we don't have to be dominant, we don't have to rise up, and we don't have to put each other down, but we can submit one to another, and have a right attitude of Christian love. We, in that sense, metaphorically, are constantly washing one another's feet as Christ washed his disciples. A third attitude, Ephesians four and verse number two. Ephesians four and verse two for a third attitude. And that is to be patient with one another. Be patient with one another. So Ephesians 4.2, with all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing one another in love. And it is that phrase forbearing one another is the word for patience. The word lowliness that we read there in Ephesians 4.2, just by the way, that's the same word that's used up in 1 Peter 5.5 that we just looked at. The focus here on forbearing one another, patience we're to have with one another. That word forbearing has the idea of holding up something, bearing up underneath the weight of something, is the idea. Turn with me to Mark 9. Let me just illustrate that word for you. Mark 9, look at verse 19. Christ used this word. The context that we're going to look at in Mark 9 is right after the Mount of Transfiguration. And you remember, right after the Mount of Transfiguration, Christ came down with Peter, James, and John. And he came to this big commotion that was going on. The scribes were there. They were mocking the other disciples that were left. And there was this poor man who had a son that was possessed with a demon. Brought his son and he asked the disciples will you cast this demon out and they tried they couldn't they got the attention of the scribes they start making fun of them and The man comes to Christ and is like, I don't even know if anything can be done now. Can you help? Can you cast this demon out? And the Lord does. But look what he says in Mark 9 verse 19. He's talking to his disciples and he says, O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I suffer you? Bring him unto me. That word suffer that's used there is the same word that is translated as forbearing one another. And so the failure of these disciples had gotten the mockery and the scorn of the scribes, and Jesus is in essence saying to his disciples, how long do I have to put up with this spiritual immaturity? Have you people not learned anything? I don't mean to impute a bad attitude to Jesus, that's not the point, but you understand the sentiment. How long do I have to put up with this immaturity? Have you not learned anything? And the disciples, in an embarrassed way later, they said to Jesus, what happened? Why could we not cast him out? And the Lord revealed the truth, this kind cometh not out but by prayer and fasting. But Christ there expresses this patience. How long do I have to put up with this? Well, let's face it. Sometimes people are hard to put up with. Their sin makes them hard to deal with. Their immaturity makes them hard to deal with. Our sin makes it hard for other people to deal with us. Our immaturity makes it hard for other people to deal with us. Personalities make it hard to deal with one another. But the biblical and the gospel answer is to lovingly and patiently forbear. Continue to deal with them. Continue to have patience. We'll see the phrase used later on this evening when we look at one of the actions, forgiving one another. But think about it this way. The text that we'll look at this evening, forgiving one another even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you, you're to be patient with one another even as God, for Christ's sake, has been patient with you. How much does God have to put up with you And can we not look at that in the context of understanding that we ought to be patient to put up with the sins of our brothers and sisters that are all around us? The Lord puts up with us, can we not put up with one another? And be patient, have an attitude of patience with one another. And then one last one to close this morning, and then we'll come back to the actions this evening. But one last one, and that is in Romans 12, verse number 16. Romans 12, 16. And that is to live in harmony with one another. Live in harmony with one another. And so Romans 12, 16. says, be of the same mind one toward another. Be of the same mind one toward another. And I say, I'm summarizing that as live in harmony with one another. This absolutely does not mean to be in the same mind with one another. This does not mean that we all have to have the same opinions about everything. It is possible for a Christian brother or sister to have a different opinion than you. That's news to a lot of Christian people. But it is possible to have a different opinion than somebody else and y'all still be friends. It is possible. It doesn't mean that you have to have the same hobbies. It doesn't mean you have to have the same taste in food or style of clothing. It doesn't even mean you have to vote for the same person to have the same mind one with another, because he's not talking about that kind of stuff. What we are to have, though, is the same mind of love and affection one toward another, living in harmony with one another. An attitude of love, I'm careful to use the word acceptance because it's been so skewed today, but I think you all are mature enough to understand what I mean by that. An attitude of love and acceptance toward one another. An attitude to receive one another into our lives, to be involved in their mess, and to let them be involved in our mess, and be in harmony with one another. This is the exact opposite of the concept of living as a Christian Lone Ranger, keeping everybody at arm's length, and never allowing anyone inside. That's what so many are prone to do. They shut down. They've been hurt. Maybe they've been hurt by the church. Maybe they've been hurt by church leadership. And so they shut down. They're not allowed, they're not about to let anybody in. Because every time they let somebody in, they get hurt. And I don't wanna get hurt again. And so they shut it down. And they close off. And they're a tough nut to crack. And it's very difficult to minister to them because they won't be ministered to. They won't allow themselves to be ministered to. because they won't let anybody in. They won't let anybody know any of their problems. They're closed. This is not the attitude that is described in scripture, that we're to have one to another. Now, we don't go to the other extreme. We're not called upon in scripture to air our dirty laundry to everybody. That's not it. Although we will see this evening that we are to confess our faults one to another. That is one of them. But it's an attitude of openness that allows others into our lives to understand what we're going through, to understand the problems that we face, the desires that we have, the love and the affection that we have, a mutual care, as we'll see actions later, a mutual care one for another, an attitude in harmony with one another. These are my people. These are my people. These are the ones that I love. These are the ones that I want to be forever with. These are my people. That kind of attitude of harmony is what the Bible calls us to in an attitude toward one another. And so again, the foundation of all these is love that governs our affections, love that governs our attitudes, And then, Lord willing, as we'll see this evening, a love that governs our actions one toward another. And so we'll go systematically through several this evening, edifying one another, greeting one another, caring for one another, serving one another, bearing one another's burdens, forgiving one another, admonishing one another, encouraging one another, stirring up and motivating one another, praying for one another, being hospitable to one another, using our spiritual gifts among one another, and on and on. I mean, there's tons more, but we can't deal with them all. But may the Lord use this to help us and instruct us, and Lord willing, this evening, to look at our actions toward one another. Let's close in prayer. Our Father, we do thank you that you have brought us into a congregation of believers that love one another. We confess before you that we fall short of what you've commanded us in the scriptures, but we also confess that we do have a desire to be conformed to the scriptures. And so we pray that you would help us to love one another, to have these right affections, to be tenderhearted, to have the right attitude toward one another. And we pray that you would want those things in each of our hearts today. We ask in Jesus' name. Amen.