Take your Bibles now and turn to the book of Proverbs. Proverbs chapter 7. In the evenings there at College Hill, I've been doing a series called Living a Transformed Life, and we're looking at various parts of the Christian life where we grow accustomed to sinful behavior and sinful habits. We're looking at some of these sins, then looking at how we can move from that sin to the opposite biblical characteristic, seeking to live as transformed people. So, the reality is that God has transformed us, and now we're to live as transformed people. That's the constant pattern of Scripture. We're told who we are, and then to live. We're to live that way. So, Proverbs chapter 7, I'm going to read the whole chapter. Remember, this is God's eternal word. My son, keep my words and treasure my commands within you. Keep my commands and live in my law as the apple of your eye. Find them on your fingers. Write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, you are my sister, and call understanding your nearest kin, that they may keep you from the immoral woman. from the seductress who flatters with her words. For at the window of my house I looked through my lattice and saw among the simple, I perceived among the youths a young man devoid of understanding, passing along the street near her corner. And he took the path to her house in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night. And there a woman met him with the attire of a harlot and a crafty heart. She was loud and rebellious. Her feet would not stay at home. At times, she was outside. At times, in the open square, looking at every corner. So, she caught him and kissed him. With an impudent face, she said to him, I have peace offerings with me. Today, I have paid my vows. So, I came out to meet you diligently to seek your face and I have found you. I've spread my bed with tapestry, colored coverings of Egyptian linen. I've perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until morning. Let us delight ourselves with love, for my husband is not at home. He has gone on a long journey. He has taken a bag of money with him and will come home on the appointed day. With her enticing speech, she caused him to yield. With her flattering lips, she seduced him. Immediately he went after her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, he did not know it would cost him his life. Now, therefore, listen to me, my children. Pay attention to the words of my mouth. Do not let your heart turn aside from her ways. Do not stray into her paths, for she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death." That's the word of God. We're going to be looking at The idea of living sexually pure. I want you to imagine that you have two kids. They're twins. You have a son and a daughter. You love them dearly. You care for them. You watch over them. You love them. You teach them as they grow up. And on their 13th birthday, you give them each a gift. And you want to give them a gift that will last for the rest of their lives. A gift that they can enjoy for for a long, long time. And you think long and hard and you come up with the perfect gift for each of them. For your daughter, you buy her a beautiful white coat. The beauty of this coat is unparalleled. It's handmade with the finest material. It's versatile for all occasions. You can wear it in the fall, winter, spring, even the summer. And not only will it last her a long time, but it actually gets more and more beautiful with age. It gets prettier and prettier with time. It's a beautiful coat. And then for your son, you give him a large, heavy-duty safe. It's a beautiful safe. It has walls that are four inches thick. You can put anything in there and keep it safe. It's impenetrable. And when your kids receive these gifts, they're overjoyed with them. Your daughter tries on her coat, and she loves it. It fits perfectly. She wears it straight for a month. without taking it off. One day she comes home without her coat on, and she's shivering, and she doesn't even have it with her. You ask her where her coat is, and she said, oh, it's outside. On my way home, I found this cute little pig, he's wandering around, he looks cold, so I took him, I wrapped him up with my coat, and I brought him home, and I made a nice mud pit in the backyard for him, and I left my coat back there so he can use it whenever he wants. And you go outside and you go back to your backyard and sure enough, there's a pig rolling around in the mud with her coat. And you can't figure out why your daughter would give such a prized possession to a pig. A pig doesn't appreciate the beauty of this coat. The coat wasn't meant for pigs. As you watch, the pig sort of walks away. And you never see him again. And so you take this coat that's been lying in the mud, it's covered in filth, you bring it inside, you clean it up as well as you can and you give it back to your daughter. And she puts it on again. But the next day she comes back home and she doesn't have her coat with her again. It's outside and so you go and see again. And there inside the coat is a skunk all curled up. And then the next day a dog. All kinds of animals are using it and walking around on it and getting it filthy. Some of them don't stick around very long, others stay a little while using the coat and then moving on. She took this beautiful gift that you gave her and she carelessly destroyed it by offering it to pigs and dogs. It's covered in filth and so even if you wash it, it's actually, you won't be able to get everything out, all the stains out of it. And so it'll be pretty hard to enjoy it the way it was intended to be enjoyed because it's been so stained. She ruined it. Well, your son didn't do much better with his gift. He started out alright. He kept his treasured possessions in his safe. You'd given him that safe. He kept the safe locked up. But he started to brag about how strong his safe was. He started telling his friends what he kept in his safe. And actually, he started telling people about the combination to his safe. And pretty soon, the word got around, and everyone now knows the combination, and so now there's no real point in locking the safe anymore. Nothing's safe in it. People can come and take whatever they want. There's no security, and the safe was now essentially useless. You gave your children these two great gifts, valuable gifts, gifts that came from your heart, gifts that you know that they would enjoy for a long, long time if they used them right. but they destroyed them. They wasted them to the point that they really can't enjoy these gifts the way you wanted them to enjoy them, the way they were meant to be enjoyed. In a similar way, this is how we have abused God's great gift of sexuality. God has made us in a special way. He's made us in His image. And in His love, He gave us this special gift, the gift of sexuality. We are sexual beings. And sex is not just something that we have to do in order to procreate like animals, but it's a pleasure to enjoy, it's an intimacy to be shared between a husband and wife, and it's this deep emotional and physical connection. But it's hard to find anything today that's been more abused than sex. Sex is everywhere. You can't watch TV, get on the internet, walk around during the spring, summer, or fall without seeing the effects of an oversexed culture. And it's getting easier and easier for us to squander this gift that God's given to us. Women offer their coats to pigs and dogs. And men let so many people into their safe that no woman ever feels safe in his arms. Now, I realize that sexual sin has always been a problem throughout history. There's no question about that. We're not unique in our temptation today, but it's very obvious that God is continually giving us over to our sin. We as a country and many times as a church, as we reject him, he removes himself and we spiral deeper and deeper into sin. And so God has given us over to the sinful lusts and the wandering eyes and wandering hands and pornography and promiscuity, adultery, swinging, homosexuality, orgies, prostitution, rape, sexual violence, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, you name it. And you don't have to look hard to find it. And we do it all with a burning lust for more. We've given our beauty and our strength to anyone, to whomever is walking down the street. We've perverted this gift so much that it's becoming harder and harder to really enjoy it the way God intended it to be enjoyed. It's becoming harder and harder to actually honor God with our sexuality. A recent study revealed that Americans spend more on pornography than they do on country music, rock music, jazz music, classical music, Broadway plays, and ballet combined. Some researchers have said that we even spend more money on pornography than we do on professional baseball, basketball, and football combined. Mark Driscoll wrote, clearly perversion is officially America's favorite pastime and a $10 billion business. Pornographic movies, websites, clubs are flourishing. They're increasing in number. The top word search on the internet is sex. The average age for sexual activity and exposure to pornography and sex gets younger and younger. Kids learn this activity from their parents and so every generation gets steeped deeper and deeper into this habitual sin earlier and earlier in life. If the parents didn't know how to use this gift, then their kids won't learn how to use this gift. And so this has become, it's become a staggering reality to us. This really hit home when I was living in Philadelphia. I was volunteering in an elementary school. And in that elementary school, teachers often found condoms in the hall. An elementary school. We're living in a real epidemic, an epidemic that threatens our country, our society, our neighborhoods, our marriages, our kids, our own lives. And don't be so naive as to think that it's just happening out there, as if we're sheltered from this epidemic. I guarantee you that tonight, there are many, there are some of you, men and women who struggle who are living this dual life, who are losing this battle, abusing this gift. Maybe you're one of them. On the surface, we look like good Christians. There's no way we would struggle with this, but deep down, inside those dark tunnels, we're losing the battle against sexual sin. From young kids to church leaders, no one is immune to this. And even though we may hate the sin, we get worn down by the battle, we lose our passion to fight against it because we can't see any way out. Without a doubt, this is a hard topic to talk about. We don't like to admit that we struggle with this. It's so much easier to be oblivious than to actually deal with it. It's easier to just assume that no one struggles with this. I don't want to ask tough questions because I don't really want to know the answer. And so I can continue to remain oblivious and keep acting as if you're okay and I'm okay and so we'll just move on that way. So the church has actually become a pretty dangerous place, maybe not because we openly encourage sin, But we strongly encourage each other to keep our own dark struggles hidden. We don't want people to talk about their struggles because then we have to deal with it. Or I don't want to talk about my own struggles because what are people going to think? How are people going to respond? There are so many stories about how people have struggled with this on their own for many, many years and they come to the point of where they're at their wits end and they build up the courage to talk to someone, a church leader or a pastor, only to be simply rebuked and then sent back into their own tunnel to fight that battle on their own again. Christians are turning to secular organizations to help them with this sexual struggle because the church is no longer a safe place to open up and to find help. And we're not actually meeting people where they struggle and doing the hard work of coming alongside each other. and walking through this together. What a slap in our face. Here the Church is to be a community where the broken find healing, strugglers find support and love, where there is hope and power, where the hope and power of the Gospel is repeatedly proclaimed and applied in our own lives. But we so often present a shallow Christianity, a Christianity that avoids where people really live. Well, then what's the point? What's the point of knowing God if He doesn't speak to us in our darkest tunnels? What's the point of being involved in a church if it just stays on the surface talking about pious theology and never actually meeting us where we struggle? Too often there's a huge disparity between talking theology and actually living the Christian life. We can talk about any topic in theology, but then we're floundering in our own tunnels, our dark tunnels, floundering in our own battle against sin. Well, if our theology doesn't meet us in the darkest hours, in our deepest struggles, if it doesn't urge us and lead us toward the holiness of God, then what good is our theology? What good is it if it doesn't drive us to God? We need to stop living in the safety of denial start living in the reality and start dealing with these things. Otherwise, we are going to reap the consequences. Not just in our own country, not just in our own communities, but in our own churches, in our own families, in our own lives, in our own marriages. The more we squander this gift, the harder it is... The more we squander this gift, the more we better get ready to reap the consequences. In the book of Hosea, the people of God were characterized there as an adulterous wife. She spread her legs for anyone. And God warns them, they sow the wind and they will reap a whirlwind, or reap a hurricane. The sin has consequences that will bring the whole world crashing down. So don't think that your secret, what you do in secret, will not have consequences in the rest of your life. But with the click of every mouse, every wandering eye, every time you hook up, you can be assured that there's a storm coming, that there are consequences. In Proverbs chapter 7, what we read, it says, with persuasive words she led him astray. She seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose, till an arrow pierces its liver. Like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. Her slaying are a mighty throng. The consequences of this man's one night with an adulterer is that he's lost his life. His whole world has now come crashing down around him. What are the consequences of sin and sexual sin in particular. Well, first is the consequence of spiritual death. Now, in this way, it's not unique to any other sin. The consequence of our sin, our sexual sin, along with every other sin that we commit, is spiritual death. Our sins have separated us from a holy God. He can't stand to have sin in His presence. And any and every sin that is committed has to be dealt with and punished. And so, there's a just penalty for every sin. And the just penalty is to have God's wrath poured out on us in hell forever. Eternal death and suffering like we cannot even imagine here. You and I, both of us, all of us, we deserve this death, this eternal suffering. That's the major consequence of our sin. But the good news of the gospel is that Christ died to take on himself those consequences. In those hours on the cross, when Jesus was hanging on the cross, God turned his back on him. And he endured the wrath of God that was meant to be poured out on us for our sins. And as a result, those who hope in Christ have been forgiven. And now, instead of eternal death and suffering, we are granted blessing, blessing and life. We struggle with this sin, but there is hope. There's forgiveness. If you struggle with this sin, there is redemption. If you repent of your sin, you trust in Christ, then you are no longer under God's wrath and curse, but you are surrounded by His love. And this is the only hope you have in your sin. Now, this is true, and you need to stake your life on this, that redemption comes from the forgiveness of Christ. But God does not promise in His Word that He will spare us from all earthly consequences of our sins. Nowhere in the Bible does God say that if you trust in Christ that you will no longer have to suffer any consequences for your sin. There are real, profound, life-shattering consequences in this life that God doesn't promise to remove. Consequences that may last your lifetime. Consequences that can and will destroy your life here on earth. When David committed adultery with Bathsheba, God forgave him. Right away, immediately. God spared David's life. God spared him from hell, but then he still carried out consequences. There were consequences that were carried out. His son died. His house was torn apart. His family was torn apart. His son Absalom rebelled against him. That same son, Absalom, then slept with David's wives in broad daylight. David was forgiven, but his whole life was torn apart because of sin. And sometimes God graciously takes away some of those consequences. He gives grace to us as we work through some of these consequences. But you can be sure that if you set burning coals on your lap, that you are going to be burned and you're going to be left with scars. Don't think, don't be tricked into thinking that as you wallow in these hidden tunnels of your life, as you struggle with sexual sin, that it's not going to affect you or affect your relationships. If you sow the wind, get ready to reap a hurricane. Women, don't give your beauty to the pigs and the dogs. Don't give your beauty to anyone who shows interest. Your joy is to give your beauty to your husband. And in the context of marriage, it is to be a joy that is for both of you. You women, you actually have much power. You have the power to refresh your husband. You have the power to refresh him with your beauty. But if you flirt with the pigs and the dogs that wander around and offer your beauty to them, they're going to take it, they're going to drag it around in the mud, and then they're going to move on. And every time you offer your beauty to these pigs, your coat gets dirtier and dirtier, and you're going to have scars that won't go away in this lifetime. Sex is not just a physical connection, but it's an emotional and spiritual connection. Every time a pig or dog comes and goes, he takes your beauty, your emotions, your spirit, your body, and he drags it through the mud. Don't be captivated by cute little pigs and dogs. Don't get involved with anyone who shows interest. Don't fantasize about what you read about in those trashy romance books. Don't give yourselves to these thoughts. They're going to tear you apart. And you need to be aware that pigs and dogs are everywhere. So watch out. They're even in the church. Don't give yourself to them. They're going to tear you apart. There is a yearning There are relationships that we need to be aware of where there are unhealthy patterns. If your boyfriend pressures you to do things because he tells you that he has needs and you just have to accept it, don't buy that garbage. That's a pig who wants to drag your beauty in the mud. He's more concerned about himself than he is about you. Yes, you want to be loved, you want to have a loving husband, you long to have an identity that comes with having a man in your life and it's hard to wait and you're tempted to give your beauty to the pig because, you know, he's the only one who's showing interest and maybe if you give him what he wants, then he'll love you in return. Don't buy into that lie. Don't give your beauty to the pigs. It'll only be dragged in the mud. You girls who are involved in a serious relationship or even engaged, don't give yourself an excuse to sin. Don't give in to the pressures. There are many couples who have stumbled before the point of marriage and in many ways, in many circumstances, they still suffer from that decision. They reap the effects of that decision. Wait for the splendor of that wedding day and give your beauty away in the safety of marriage. Married women, You may be married to a man who doesn't live up to your expectations. Maybe he doesn't show affection or tenderness or even talk about the things that matter to you. Well, don't daydream about another man. Don't let those thoughts into your head. They will lead to death. They will ruin your life. They will wreck your marriage. They will affect your kids. They will destroy your life. You sow the wind and get ready to reap a hurricane. And now to you men, if you saw the wind, get ready to reap a hurricane. God has given you a gift. It's the gift of strength and security. And it's a safe. It's like a safe. And your joy is to give your safety, your strong safety and security to your wife. This security and love is compromised every time you sin with another woman in thought, word and action. And it's easy to buy into the lie that sexual sin is actually victimless. To look at pornography on the computer or in the movies or to hook up with someone, all this is a victimless crime and no one has to know about it. It's not going to affect anything. There's so much sexual sin going on among men, among Christian men. It's an epidemic and it's kept secret. Make no mistake that whatever you do in your mind or in your bedroom has devastating ramifications and it leads to death. Men, we need to wake up. If we don't wake up right now, then say goodbye to your marriage or any hope to a healthy marriage or healthy relationships with women. You'll alienate your children. You'll destroy your family. And when the family is destroyed, the community goes. When the community is destroyed, the world falls into chaos. I don't think it's an overstatement to say that this world is in a shabby state, filled with misery and crime and danger, at least for the most part, is because men don't love their wives. Women aren't secure. They don't feel secure in a man's love. I've seen so many men who've lost the intimacy of their marriages, or really lost their marriages altogether because of their sexual sin. We just find satisfaction in whatever we can, on the street corner, the computer, at the club, or in our minds. Men, we're to be leaders. And so the weight of the blame of sexual sin falls on our shoulders. It's our responsibility. Women wouldn't be so careless with their beauty if we weren't a bunch of pigs. If we really love them and look out for their purity, we wouldn't allow them to uncover themselves, except in the safety of marriage, and most definitely wouldn't pressure them into sin. Pigs and dogs take a woman's beauty, they use it, they come back for periodic visits, and it's all at her expense. She sells her body to you over the internet, or in TV, or movies, or in magazines, or clubs. You play with her, her emotions, her spirit. You willingly drag her beauty in the mud. We have to wake up and start acting like men. You're to represent Christ to her, and not only to her, but to every woman that you interact with, preserving her purity, not compromising it. You're to represent Christ to all women by giving your wife alone the security of your love. The more women you let into your safe, the less secure it becomes. The more women you love, the less secure your love is for your wife. The more you give into temptation now, the more your wife will wonder if you really love her at all, or if your love is really that secure. Walk down the adulterous street and get ready to lose your life. Get ready to watch your marriage fall apart Get ready to alienate your kids. Get ready to lose any healthy relationship you have with women. It will affect everything. Her slain are a mighty throng. Sow the wind and reap the hurricane. This is an epidemic. We need to be fighting against this. So how do we battle this in our own lives? You can't just keep telling yourself, don't do this, don't do this, don't do this. No, you have to take steps to battle this. You have to focus on something else. You have to put off something by focusing on something else. You put off something by putting on something. Something that will actually satisfy you, and that is Jesus Christ. The first thing that you have to do to battle temptation is to seek Christ alone. To put your hope in Him. In your singleness or in your marriage, your focus and your satisfaction must only be in Christ. Fully be in Christ. Pursuing Christ. Resting in Christ. Trusting in His care and love. Treasuring Christ above all else. He has to be your greatest desire. You yearn for Him. You yearn for satisfaction and safety and identity in Him. A lot of times people want to be married so badly or want to have a healthy marriage so badly, so much that they want it more than they want God Himself. And so God is just a way to get something that I want. Our priorities are mixed up. Your greatest desire needs to be set on God Himself, not on a man or a woman. And there's always going to be the pressure to compromise. Men will pressure women. Women will lure men. And if your eyes are on anything else but God, if your desire for them is more than your desire for God, then you've already lost. Christ must always be your focus, your joy, your reward, your satisfaction, your husband, your security. When you really learn to be satisfied in Christ and count Him as your greatest treasure, that is the beginning of a healthy relationship. Then you can give real security to your wife or give your beauty to your husband. Don't make it your life's goal to be married or to have a happy marriage, but make it your life's goal to love God with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength. Seek Christ, and Christ alone. He is your greatest treasure. Your full satisfaction. So first, seek Christ alone. And second, don't fight alone. Don't fight alone. We're in a battle, a spiritual battle, and God does not intend for us to fight this war on our own. We need to fight together. Men, you need other men who will fight with you, to point you to Christ, to make sure that you're in regular communion with Him through word and prayer. Men, you need other men to encourage you in your singleness, or encourage you in your marriage. You need men who will ask you hard questions. What did you watch this week? Maybe someone who will monitor your internet activity. There's good software available online that will help keep you accountable. Someone who will ask you hard questions. Someone who will call you out when they notice something that shouldn't be going on. Men, you need men. And women, you need women. You need women who will come alongside you. You need women who will encourage you. Who will encourage you to preserve your beauty. who will urge you to rest in Christ. You need women who will call you out when you're giving your beauty to the wrong man. Parents, don't be oblivious to what your children are doing. Don't think that your child won't get into that stuff, but monitor their activity, monitor their relationships, and urge them toward Christ. Perversion is rampant here in the world. And we as the church are getting sucked into it. And if we don't fight against it, then get ready to reap a hurricane. Get ready to have everything fall down around you. Let's use this gift the way God has intended. Let's show the world how this gift is supposed to be used, to be enjoyed. Preserve your strength and your beauty and enjoy it the way God intended it to be enjoyed. There's no easy solution to this epidemic. It's going to be a hard struggle. And in our culture, it's likely going to get worse in years to come. Our children are going to face temptations that maybe we haven't experienced. So we have to cling to Christ. Treasure Him above everything else. Find your satisfaction and identity in Him. We have to fight together. If you continue to struggle in this dark tunnel alone, struggling with stuff in secret, it will overpower you and it will overtake you and it will destroy you. It will scar you, it will cost you your life. This is a call to action. What are you going to do to fight this battle? What step are you going to take, even if you're struggling just a little bit? Talk to someone. Talk to an elder. Talk to a trusted friend. Talk to women. Talk to another woman. Someone who will help. Talk to a friend. Start fighting this together. And by the power of the Holy Spirit, may He grant us victory for His glory, for the glory of Jesus Christ. Let's live as transformed people and show the world how to enjoy this gift the way God intended. and do it all for the glory of God. Let's pray. Gracious God, we thank you that you have given us the gift of sexuality. But we confess to you that it's a gift that we pervert, maybe more than any other. And we ask that as your people, that you would give us your spirit more and more in abundance so that we can show the world the good gift, how we are to actually use this good gift that you've given to us. Please protect us from temptation and sin. It is going on all around us. It's around every corner. Keep us from temptation. Keep our kids from temptation. Keep their kids from temptation. and on and on for generations. Please preserve us, because as your word says, it leads to death. Help us to set our eyes on you, on Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith, and run this race with perseverance. Show us, as a church, show the Cambridge congregation how to fight this battle together, to ask hard questions, to get into the tunnels, each other's tunnels, and fight together. Those who are struggling particularly with this, we pray that you would give them the strength to talk to someone, that they would not continue in the darkness on their own. Please transform us from glory to glory, conforming us more and more into the image of Christ, we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.