We have what's called in our church PMP, we call it, Protection Management Personnel. And we, our guys do a good job. The fellow that runs it, he's, he's a, he was a marine tank commander at one time and, and he went in on the first wave, the first Gulf War. He went in on the first wave when they were to meet the elite Republican Army of Iraq. And then he is a warden in the prison system. And he's very diligent, does a lot of training with our guys. But as I was sitting there, I saw about a half a dozen things that I'm going to bring back and talk to him about maybe having our brother come out and help our people. He did an excellent job of presenting. That was a lot of material condensed into one short session. And very well put. Made me do a lot of thinking. But we have been robbed three times. We're right on the interstate, just like Hope Baptist is. And it's kind of an invitation. It's always between 1 and 5 in the morning. And the first two times, we did not have a security, an alarm system on the building. So we put alarm system. And for a long time, that kept everybody away. But we still had one, even with the alarm system. All three times, my office has been rifled. where they came in and just went through everything and tossed stuff around. The word I'd have to use is it's a feeling of being violated. It really is. really appreciate our guys that do that work. For a long time, what really pushed us over the edge many years ago, we weren't even thinking so much as about violent crime in the church or shootings and things like that. But what was happening is during the services, we were having cars broken into out in the parking lot. And criminals, some of them are pretty You know, they do a lot of thinking, and they just thought, well, we're all in church. They'll be out there going through the cars. And so that's what caused us to get that started, and that stopped that problem. And I noticed up on your presentation, brother, you had a picture and a headline from something that happened in southern Illinois just several years ago. My folks go to a southern Baptist church in the southern tip of Illinois. Their pastor is a very good friend with the pastor that was shot about 50 miles from the Cairo area there. And my folks told me about that. The fella came in. He had visited the church several times. There wasn't necessarily any indication that he was going to be a problem. And I guess the pastor went to greet him, walked up to him to shake his hand, and he pulled the gun out. The pastor held his Bible up. But the bullet went through the Bible into him and killed him. And so I always go back to this verse. The horse is prepared for the day of battle. And that's what we just got in the last hour. And then safety is of the Lord. And so we certainly need to continue to pray. That's for sure. We are out west. We are in Idaho. It is not at the end of the world, but you can see it from where we're standing. If you've not been out there, it is cowboy country. People out there are tough. The women are tough. One of our biggest church discipline issues is when they won't shave. Brother, I don't know how many people pack in our church. I have to admit, I am one of those guys, I don't want to know. I don't know and I don't want to know. Probably 50% of the women are packing. And I'm sure the percentage with the men, Brother Doty, is well over half. But he's right. I mean, you just can't have lead flying all over the place. That's not the solution. A lot of times when law enforcement shows up on the scene, they don't even know who the bad guys are. And so there's a lot to it. There's a lot to it more than just deputizing somebody that carries a weapon and telling him to take care of things. There's a lot more to it than that. All right. Brother Sal mentioned next year, if you'll notice on the card, we had to tweak the date a little bit. I'm not going to apologize for that. I'm going to say I regret that. simply because when you're in a slot in a groove, you like to stay there if you can. But we had to tweak the date a little bit and push it out a couple of weeks because of another meeting that we have early in July and they were just compressed too closely together. So that's the only change. And I hope that doesn't create an inconvenience for anybody. I know it's likely that more people will be in school by then. And I know a lot of people like to come out, bring their families, and turn it into a vacation situation, especially if you've never been out west. But maybe in some cases, you'll just have to come out yourself and leave the family behind. But we do apologize for having to change that, but we just had to. It was necessary for us to do that. This has nothing to do with what I'm about to bring, but I just enjoyed the story. This actually happened. An elderly Alzheimer's patient broke out of the assisted living center where he was being kept in the memory unit. He broke out, but after an hour, he couldn't remember why he broke out, so he actually broke back in. You know, as I get older, I just turned 60. And you know, when I turned 40, everybody made fun and bought me black balloons and had a party, and 40 didn't get my attention. 50 got my attention. When I looked at 5.0, I thought, yeah, that's half a century. And now I'm 60. I remember when I was a kid, if you were 60, I thought you were fossilized already. I really did. And the frightening thing is 70 seems real reasonable to me now. So I see people go into memory care and lose their memory. I hope the Lord spares me of that. I really do. And that poor guy broke out and then couldn't remember why he broke out, so he broke back in. You also have something that was passed out just now. This is a chapter. You can do what you want with it. But it's been a real encouragement to me. Most of you have heard about John Paul Jones. He's arguably the father of the American Navy. He actually started a Navy when we didn't have a Navy. And most of you are familiar with the saying, I have not yet begun to fight. Well, that was, those words were spoken by him on the deck of the Bonham Richard, the boat, the ship that he was on when they were in a battle against a ship called the Serapis. Captain was a fellow named Pearson. It was right off the coast of England. John Paul Jones was taking the battle to England with just the few ships that he had, what we would have called a navy at that time. Frankly, Congress was pretty disinterested in the whole thing. But that saying comes from that battle. This particular chapter, chapter nine, is from a book on John Paul Jones. By the way, very flawed character. Very flawed character, to say the least. But the courage, the tenacity, and the willingness to continue on against all odds in that battle, it is such a, to me, it's one of the most fascinating stories, war stories, and I love war stories, because we are in a spiritual battle, aren't we? And but we wrestle not against flesh and blood. But a lot of the principles are the same. And when I read this story and the way his ship was so shot up and sinking and the way he would not quit. And then the almost miraculous way in which the battle just turned. And they won that battle. And the serapists and Pearson had to surrender to John Paul Jones, not the other way around. I would imagine every one of us here that's in the ministry would be able to identify with those circumstances. That you've been at that point where it looks like the ship is going to sink. There's no way you can win. And the only thing you can do is just hang on and keep going and hope that God delivers. And so I just share that with you. I get a great blessing from it. I have a preacher friend. He's a man out of our church that pastors up the road from us. He has had some real trials with his health. And I gave that chapter to him a year ago. And he told me the other day, he said, I've read it no less than 16 times in the last year. And he said, it's helped me keep going. So hopefully that'll be as much of a blessing to you as it's been to me. Let's go ahead and pray. Father, we thank you for what we've already heard this morning, the help we've received. Father, there was so much good scripture in that, so much common sense, so much practical experience. Father, we do pray that by your grace, you would spare us ever having to deal with these kind of things. Father, especially the violent ones, Lord, the killings, the homicides, things of that nature, Lord. And yet we realize that we live in a violent world that's getting more increasingly violent by the day. Father, we realize more and more that we are becoming the bullseye and many people's targets. And so, Father, we thank you for men that have had the call to alert us to these things. who have taken an interest. I thank you for the men in our church with the PMP ministry, the Protection Management Personnel, Father, their willingness to give of their time and effort. And Father, we just know that the horse is prepared for the day of battle, but we also know that safety is of you. And so Father, we ask for that safety. We thank you, Lord, that we're meeting here this morning. in safety, Father. We have peace, we have quiet. Father, we're not worried about the police coming in here and breaking up our meeting because it's against the laws of our land, but we actually have protection and we're grateful for that. Lord, help us to never take it for granted. Thank you for the things we heard last night that Brother Harding brought to us. Father, we do pray for our nation that you'd have mercy upon it. We ask that your hand would be on this election. that your will would be done and have mercy upon our nation and forego your judgment. Father, it is my prayer that my children and grandchildren would know something of the America that I grew up with. And Father, help me now as I would bring some things that will hopefully be an encouragement and helpful to all of us for it's in Jesus Christ's name we pray, amen. I've been given the subject that I'm going to talk about. I was asked to talk about this, and I'm certain it's not because it's perceived that I have some sort of expertise in the area. But I'm going to ask you to take your Bibles and turn to Psalm 34. And I was asked to speak on the subject of balancing being a pastor with being a husband and a father. Balancing being a pastor with being a husband and a father. And what I'm gonna do is emphasize the father and the husband aspect of it. I think most of us are paying attention to our ministries. Most of us are committed to the work that God has given us as far as the ministry is concerned. But my observation, and that's what it is, is that sometimes we can get so wrapped up in that that the other two areas, husband and father, can sometimes lag behind. And so for that reason, I'm going to emphasize the husband and father aspect of it and assume that you're focused on your ministry. I'm not going to talk about raising children per se or how to have a good marriage. Those are whole topics in and of themselves and very broad. But I'm going to try to stay with the narrower subject that I've been handed, and that is how to balance these three things. and how to pay some attention to our wives and our children when the ministry can take so much of our attention. I don't know about you, but sometimes I can get almost consumed with the ministry. consumed with the things that I have to do as a pastor, the demands on my time, and frankly, one of the reasons, to be honest with you, I'd rather not even speak on this subject is, not only do I not consider myself an expert, but I'm 60 years old now, my children are all grown up, they're raising families of their own, my wife and I will be married 40 years this coming Sunday, And I have to say in hindsight, in some ways, I'd have to say I've made quite a few mistakes. I haven't done everything exactly the way I should have done it. And so I'd like to stand up here today and tell you that my story is all success. and that I'm the ultimate example, but I certainly would not do that. But then again, who would stand up here and say that I'm the ultimate example? So I'll do the best I can here and hopefully bring something that'll be an encouragement to you. In some ways, especially as we look at the Old Testament, the Bible is kind of thin on this subject. if you will. I mean, the subject of the family. Have you ever thought of this particular subject? I'm going to go to my Old Testament, and I'm going to see what God has to say about it. I might find Jacob, and Jacob would be a good example of keeping harmony between both wives and their handmaids as I impregnate all of them. in my attempt to grow a large, happy, well-adjusted, harmonious family. I don't think so. I think I'll move on to a different example. So as we go to the Old Testament, other than applying basic Bible principles, it's going to be a little thin. Proverbs certainly has a lot to say. And there are some principles there that I can apply. Song of Solomon is a love story, obviously. I go to my New Testament and I get to Ephesians 5 and there's some wonderful material there about Christ in the church and the husband and wife. But specifically for something as narrow as balancing being a pastor with a father, and a husband, we're going to have to not only take Bible and Bible principles here, we're going to have to look at some common sense, and we're going to have to look at our experiences as well and the experiences of others. Psalm 34, verse 3, David says, O magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together. I've already said that I don't consider myself to have been the perfect husband or father, but I can rejoice that I do have a wife that we can say that together. We have the same purpose and we are magnifying the Lord the best we know how with one another and trying to exalt his name and we're still together. We're still together. And by the way, a marriage is a dynamic thing. You have to keep learning and you have to keep growing, don't you? Just because, you know, you got her to say yes and then I do at the altar doesn't mean that our job is done. It's a work in progress. And by the way, most of the time when I find families come into my office that are having problems with their marriage, they'll say something like this. They'll say, well, we're working on our marriage. And when I ask them what that means, it usually means the wife is trying to change the husband. And the husband's trying to change the wife. I found out a long time ago that I can't change my wife. But I can change. And so the best work that I can do is on me rather than on her. But this is the goal. This is the ideal. Everybody on board. Everybody on board. By the way, I believe if we worked as hard on family diplomacy as we often work on church diplomacy, our families might be better off. And so this is the goal. We want our spouses to be on board with us. We want our children to be on board. I'll just say this, lest I give the impression that my kids are all a disaster. They're not. They're all married. They all married Christians. They're raising families. They're all in church. And they're not ashamed to call me dad or let somebody know that I'm their dad. And I'm glad for that. And so, but as I look back, there are some things that I certainly would have done differently. I need my wife, Psalm 34 verse three, I need my wife. If she left me, I'd be sunk. In fact, I told her, I said, if you ever decide to leave me, I'm going with you. I know we as Bible believers don't believe that there's going to be marriages in heaven. And I never have understood that one. Collectively, we're the bride of Christ, right? But we all have male resurrection bodies. If anybody understands that, please explain it to me later on after this session, please. But I did hedge my bets. I decided that I would like her for my wife during the millennium. So I proposed. And I'm happy to say she accepted. It is going to cost me another ring, though. We want everybody on board. But we need to understand, for one, our wives are never going to look at the ministry exactly the way we do. That ministry God has given you is your baby, not hers. And so we've got to understand that right out of the get-go. Her baby is the kids, the grandkids, and the house. Your folk in your church are never going to see your ministry the way you do. Many years ago, when I was working with Brother Dave Rowley, he was pastoring in Des Plaines, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago. We were trying to get ready for the first service in a building that we were moving into. The parking lot was flooded with water. It was a gravel parking lot. And the reason it was flooded with water is the drain pipe, which was a four-inch drain pipe that led out to the storm sewer in front of the church on Oakton Street, was plugged. And they had a big work day that Saturday, and guys stayed there, some of them as late as 4 or 5 in the afternoon, some as late as 7. But the last guy left at 8, me and Brother Raleigh were there trying to unplug this train because the parking lot was still flooded. And I'm up and down the ladder in the storm sewer, and we're trying to get this thing unplugged, and it's about 11 o'clock at night. And I remember I started grumbling a little bit to Brother Riley. I said, how come we're doing all this and nobody else is out here helping us? And he looked at me and he said, he said, Rick, you gotta understand, the people in this church are never gonna look at this church the way I do or you do. And so that's something we need to understand upfront. Her calling is that she is following you in your calling. Ephesians 5 makes you the head, and God wired her to be submitted to you. And so her calling is that she is following you in your calling. Which segues to our children. When they're really young, they're under Not only our authority, but pretty much under our complete control, aren't they? I see young couples with their little babies, and I call them basket babies. And they just pick up the basket and the baby goes with them. It's not going to be like that when they're 20. Is it? Everybody warns you of the terrible twos. Nobody says anything about the terrible twenties. And so things change as they get a little bit older. And by the way, when your kids are little, let them have a childhood, let them play, let them have fun. Don't expect your children, because they're the preacher's kids, they're gonna figure out they live in a fishbowl. They're gonna figure that out. Don't shine a spotlight on that fishbowl. Don't constantly be reminding them that they are the preacher's kids. and they have to be good because they're the preacher's kids. They could grow up to resent the fact that they're the preacher's kids if you do that. And when they're children, let them have fun. Don't expect your 10-year-old to be the Apostle Paul. Okay? Think of what it was like when you were a 10-year-old. Let them be kids. Let them play. Let them have fun. That's what a childhood is for. But then they get a little bit older and we start teaching them character and of course we teach them how to work. And we let them get involved in serving the Lord and I think that's an important thing. And by the way, show them the joy of serving the Lord. Now if you don't have any in your own life, get some. Because you can't fake it. Or as a guy once said, he said, if you're happy, please notify your face. But let them get involved and talk to them about the benefits of being able to serve the Lord, the benefits of being a preacher's kid. We'll talk more about that in a little bit. But then they get a little bit older and they get ready to leave and they get ready to cleave. And we'll talk a little bit later about that because that can get tricky. Well, let's talk first of all about being a husband. I believe it's the most important because if my wife and I are rightly related to one another, this presents an environment for my children to best grow up in and have security and have the right kind of things about life and family and marriage modeled to them. So we'll talk about that first. And for that, let's go to Proverbs chapter 31. We all know that this is the chapter about the virtuous woman. And I wanna look at verses 28 and 29. Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her. All right, the children rise up and call her blessed. Why? They're following their dad's example, and he praiseth her. Be sure that you provide a lot of encouragement to your wife. You do know that as soon as you step outside the walls of this building, the world out there is going to tell her that she's a fool for being a keeper at home. That she's a fool for being submitted to you. That she's a fool for putting so much focus on her children. They are going to push her away from the biblical model. They need encouragement. And it needs to start with us guys. Verse 28, he praiseth her. Let me ask you a question, when's the last time you praised your wife? When's the last time you praised your wife for the sacrifices she's made to go with you to pursue your calling? It's important that we do that. And if you look at verse 28, the virtuous woman here, her children rise up and do the same. Where'd they learn this? They learned this from dad. Let your children see you praising your wife. Give her credit for any accomplishments that you may have achieved in your life. The Bible does say we're heirs together of the grace of life. And then notice verse 29. Verse 29 is the husband to his wife. Many daughters have done virtuously. She's not insecure. He can say that. Hey, honey, there's a lot of good women out there. But you know what? Thou excellest them all. You're the best. You're my one and only. And if I could do it all over again, I would do it with you. It's our job, guys, to communicate that to her. It's not her job to figure that out. We've got to be proactive in communicating that to her so she gets that. 90% of the problems I believe that preachers or anybody has in their marriage, us guys, is that we have not caused her to feel that way, to know that we feel that way about her. And so it's important, and I've got a lesson I do once in a while called 16 ways you can communicate that to your wife. I'm just gonna give you one of them that I think is important related to the ministry, and that is give your wife, give your pastor's wife, your wife, some what I call only time. Only time. It's just, it might be a date, it might be a vacation, But when you get together, say, for the date for this evening, she is your singular focus. On the way to the restaurant or whatever you're going to do, you don't stop at the hospital to make a call. OK? You don't answer a text with another text. You turn the phone off. And you make her your singular focus. Because guys, a woman is not going to appreciate any mistress, even if her name is spelled C-H-U-R-C-H. She still doesn't appreciate a mistress. And if all of our time is always with the church, and the church people and the church problems, and that's always our focus, and she doesn't get much of our time at all by way of focus, she's gonna feel after a while that the church is our mistress. And she's gonna begin to resent the church. And then, guys, there's a trickle-down effect. If she starts to resent the church and starts getting sour, guess who she's gonna pass that on to? You can pass it on to your kids. Hey, I saw a little thing at an antique store one time. I can't remember if it was a needlepoint or a picture or whatever it was. But it said, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Make mama happy. Give her some only time. Give her some only time. Small things are important. Dates, gifts, flowers. Girls are suckers for stuffed animals. So are grown-up girls. My wife and I were having a little, I don't know if you'd call it a fuss or whatever it was, about two months ago. And frankly, it was over this. I was at fault. I was bringing My stress and problems from the church home, I wasn't letting them go. I was bringing them there pretty soon. It kind of set her off. There was a little chain reaction. Does any of this sound familiar to anybody here? Or am I alone in all of this? OK. And really, you ever get a point where you realize you've dug such a hole, you're going to really have to think outside of the box to get out of this one. And so I. I went to the store down the street, and I was going to get some flowers, but I thought, no, she's used to that. And I saw some stuffed animals, and I bought three of them. One was this platypus that was laying with his face flat on the ground. He looked really depressed. I thought, well, that's, okay, that's us right now. And then there was this frog dressed like a prince. I said, I can use that. And then this really happy-looking puppy. So she didn't want to see me. But I came home with these three animals. I know this sounds insane, all right? But really, file it away, OK? You might be questioning my masculinity right now, but just file this away. Desperate times require desperate measures. So I brought this thing. And I walked in the house, and I mean, you could just tell. She was giving me that look that says, I'm going to make you wish you were never born. You know that look? And I put the platypus down, and I started talking about him and how depressed he was. And then I brought the frog up, and I had the frog kiss the platypus. And then the platypus became this happy little dog. And I can't believe I'm doing this. But I'm desperate. I am in the dog house. As you can tell, she looked over her shoulder a couple times. And she was holding back a smile. So then I brought it over to the table right in front of her. And I kept going. And finally, she just broke down and started laughing. But guys, sometimes, to be honest with you, we're our own worst enemies when it comes to this stuff. And you say, boy, you must be mentally ill to do that sort of thing. Well, I saw a guy, he had a t-shirt, and it said, I am not suffering from mental illness, I am rather enjoying it, he said. An evangelist back in the day before cell phones, was seen by the pastor every evening. He would ask the pastor to bring him over to a place where there was a pay phone. And he would spend 15, 20 minutes on the phone with his wife. And finally, he says, man, isn't that expensive? And he said, it's cheaper than alimony. You see, fellas, the ministry becomes a squeaky wheel that sometimes gets all the grease. And that doesn't escape our wives' notice. Let her know that her house is important to you. Who of us could say we've all been able to provide our wives with their dream house? But even though we can't necessarily do that, how about if she knows that we're doing the best we can with that? Because it is a big deal to her. For us guys, wherever we lay down our hat, that's home. But for her, it's a much bigger deal. And I don't think it's all that important how big or how nice or how new a house we can provide, but that it means a lot to us because it means a lot to her. Here's probably the most important one. And I would say this is true of our children as it is our wives. Make time. Make time for her. And what do I do when I need to get with somebody in the church and they are a priority, they either have a problem or there's somebody in the church that has responsibility in the church and I feel like I need to work with them on something because there's gonna be a lot of repercussions if I don't. I schedule them in, I put it on my calendar. Isn't that what we do? Well, how about you schedule your wife in? Make her a priority. Schedule your kids in. Make them a priority. Otherwise, the tyranny of the urgent will take over, and they will get pushed out. We shouldn't expect our wives or require of our wives to have to be secretary, janitor, custodial, pastor to the ladies, and I'm speaking facetiously now, assistant pastor. But if you have a situation where she has to assume some of these capacities, many guys with a smaller church, she has to be the secretary, that's fine and well, but be sure you show proportional appreciation. Let her know that you know she's going above and beyond. It's not fair for our church to expect her Because they hired us to be doing all their bidding, it's not fair to her for us to expect the same thing because she's my wife. Show appreciation, show gratitude. It'll go a long way. Try not to bring your problems home. She is the weaker vessel. And all of us are going to from time to time. But here's how you balance it out. Go to Philippians 4. I don't know about you, but I have to work on this. Philippians chapter 4 and verse 8. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, Whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, think on these things. As much as we say we shouldn't bring problems home, we're going to from time to time, let's make sure we bring some of the victories home too. Be sure to tell her about those. In fact, it would be better every day if you were going to debrief her after you come back from the office to focus primarily on those. At least start with those. And like for instance if I get a note that you know tells me thank you pastor for helping me or whatever it was, I always make sure she sees it too. Make sure that she gets in on the victories, share those with her. And here's another one. Be careful if you're upset and mad at someone at the church, what you say to her about those people. I'll tell you why. With a woman, there's a much longer ripple effect. Guys, we can be upset with somebody, and an hour later, we can be over it. Our wives typically can't do that. And if we get in the habit of venting to her about these kind of things, we could get her all worked up, and long after we're over it, she's not. And again, you hear stories of pastor's wives who get headaches every Wednesday and Sunday night, and they don't go to church anymore. And I wonder sometimes if that isn't our own fault. because we become the bearers of all bad tidings, but we forget to bring to her the good stuff. And like I said earlier, if her spirit goes sour, she'll convey that to the children. And that segues me over to our priority as a father with our children. Just as with our wives, we need to prioritize our children. Schedule time with your kids if you have to. to spend time with them. Again, the squeaky wheel always gets to grease, and there's so much stuff. I said one day to someone on my staff, I said, I could stay in this office 24-7, never leave, have them shove the food underneath the door, and I'd never be done with the work I've got. You know what you have to say at some point? This is all I can do today, and walk away from it. and give your children the time they need and the time they deserve. Don't miss only opportunities with them, events, recitals. I don't know how many times I heard the Indian song played on the piano. And if there's anything that would bore the leg off of a chair, it's a recital. But it's a big deal to your kid. Try to be there if you can. I know sometimes we're out of town. But even when we're out of town, let them know we would love to be there. Call them, ask them how that went. It's important that they don't feel like they're an afterthought. They're games, awards, graduations. Guys, I'm not trying to be critical by pointing this out, and I have all the respect in the world for this man and his memory. But I went to a pastor school in 1978 or 79 where Dr. Heil stood up and told everybody that he told his children, wrote them letters, that they essentially would not have a dad because their dad was called to save America. How did that work out? OK, guys? Now, don't misunderstand. And I'm only saying it because he said it to everybody, and everybody knows it. But I mean, guys, how did that work out? That may sound very noble, but your kids aren't going to appreciate it. They're just not going to appreciate it. And like I said, I have all the respect in the world for him, and he did so many great things, and I read all his books on child rearing, and we used a lot of those principles, and they were helpful. But I think it's a mistake to communicate in any way to our children that they are a low priority because of the ministry. What better way to get them to resent the ministry? When we were raising our kids, I asked over a dozen older pastors if there was one thing you could tell me about raising children, one principle that would be helpful to me, what would it be? And I remember I wrote them all down. I still have them to this day. But Brother Jack Wood told me, he said, preachers' kids live in an unreal world. He said, so I recommend a couple of things. Number one, get them involved. in serving the Lord, teach them character, teach the boys how to work, the young ladies how to work in the kitchen with mom, and then show them the joy of serving God. Show them the joy. And guys, it can be tricky. I think a lot of times people in our church probably think being the pastor and dad all wrapped up in one makes it easier to raise children. I submit to you this morning, it makes it trickier. Because dad is pastor is dad is pastor is dad. And we know that every kid somewhere in their teens is going to need to have someone else they can look at, too, when things get a little rough between them and dad. Right? And with all three of our kids, what we did is we had a pastor that they adopted and vice versa and developed a relationship with. So when they had to have that one talk at that critical juncture in their life and didn't feel like they could have it with dad because dad is the pastor, his dad is the pastor, his dad. In other words, I was wearing too many hats for him. They were able to go to that guy and that guy supported us. and the Bible. That's just something we did. I'm not saying everybody has to do it, but it was helpful with two out of three of our kids. Like I said, I'm not going to stand up here and tell you how great my kids are. I have a great relationship with them. My wife has a great relationship with them. They're in church. but that was an important time in their lives. I encourage inventorying the advantages of being a pastor's kid. Inventory the advantages with them. Sit down and talk about the advantages of being a preacher's kid. They will figure out, as I said earlier, they're in a fishbowl. Talk to them about it. We did it often. We talked about how people loved them in a special way, how many friends they had all over the country, the places they got to go, the things they got to see, the things they got to do that other kids didn't get to. I remember one labor day, my son and I, we went on a trip to Argentina. I took all three of them when they were in high school to a different mission field. And my son and I got to go to Argentina. And as a sort of a sidebar to that trip, we got to go to the Las Linas Ski Resort. It was about two hours from where Brother Don Espinosa had his ministry in San Rafael. And we were skiing in the southern hemisphere there on Labor Day. And I remember we were riding the chairlift. And my son was about 15 years old then. And I leaned over and I said, you know, you need to rebel. I said, look how abused you are. Here you are, it's Labor Day. Labor Day, and you're skiing in South America. Oh, man, you need to rebel. This is horrible. This is awful. He started laughing. But we tried to point out the advantages of being a PK. Believe me, the devil will tell them about the disadvantages. You don't have to do that. Do I have any regrets? Yeah. I would have taken them on more preaching trips with me. I would have gone to fewer meetings like this alone. And then on those trips, divert and have a little fun with them. My girls, When they got to be about 10, 12 years old, I started taking them out on dates. And I tried to show them how they should be treated. So in case they were ever with somebody that was mistreating them, they could see the difference. My son and I studied the Bible together. We did a lot of snow skiing together. He was just in the area back from North Carolina. We went on a trip. We took his two boys. We went hiking, cycling, played some ice hockey together. Guys, it doesn't have to be all Bible and prayer and soul winning. Do some fun stuff with them. Do some fun stuff with them, too. Here's one that if I could go back and change, I would. Sit with your family as much as you can in church. Sounds kind of simple, but as a pastor, it's not always easy, is it? You're the guy running the show on the platform. And the bigger the church, the bigger distraction that becomes. And as they get older and get ready to leave and get ready to cleave, Remember that they may not share your specific burden or call to the ministry. Now, if they do, praise the Lord, that's wonderful. But if they don't, give them some room. Is it okay if I talk about the gorilla in the living room at this point? If we don't give them some room, we may unintentionally provoke them to wrath. Most guys don't appreciate someone else planning their whole lives for them before they reach the age of 20. God called Samuel. Pray for God to call him. but let God call him. Now, if you disagree with this, you're welcome to your opinion. I'm just going to give you my opinion. And to be honest with you, this is one of the reasons I really didn't want to talk on this subject. But among independent Baptists, there's kind of a tendency to treat the New Testament ministry Like the Old Testament Aaronic Priesthood or Old Testament Levitical Priesthood. It's family, it's tribal. Memo. We're in the New Testament. And our kids may not all be called into the ministry by God. And when their mama called and daddy sent, it produces frustration in the kids. It's a curse to the body of Christ. when uncalled, ungifted guys are in there because they really didn't have a choice. And then there's the guilt that preachers at large share because their family is second class if all of their kids didn't go into the ministry. I know this isn't written, but it's tacit and it's there. And what do we do for the fathers of the prodigals? We should love them, pray for them. And I'll be honest with you this morning, I have a tremendous amount of respect for those preachers that are still soldiering on in their ministries long after one or more of their kids has turned on God. I have a great deal of respect for you. I don't think we should stand in judgment. These men are broken-hearted enough. And I don't know too many of the greats that didn't have at least one. On top of that, I'm glad for second-generation saved Bible-believing lawyers doctors, engineers, plumbers, electricians, and politicians. Police officers. We've got a lot of them in our church. I've had preachers say, how is it that you have so many of them in your church? First of all, I don't try to run them out. And second of all, I don't try to make them feel like second-class citizens. I tell them that we're all in full-time Christian service. The only difference is how we put the food on our table. But the reality of it is, we're all in full-time Christian service. 2 Corinthians 5 says we're ambassadors for Christ. We all have a ministry of reconciliation. and we're to do all to the glory of God. Finally, and I'll close with this because I'm running out of time. The main thing is priorities. I think our kids and our wives should know that they are important to us. If they feel like they have to take second, third, fourth, fifth place to the ministry, We're going to be fighting an uphill battle against resentment. The ministry is a strange and wonderful calling. I had a couple of unsaved guys in a locker room after an ice hockey game ask me one time, they said, what sort of hours do you work? And I had to think about it. And I answered them this way. I said, the way I would describe my job to you is that I'm always working. and I'm never working. And that left them scratching their heads. But to be honest with you, I'm still scratching mine. God is good. He offers us a crown of glory if we're faithful. And I think we should encourage our families by making them a priority. Young man, if God's called you into the ministry, get after it. After almost 40 years in the ministry, I have no regrets. I have no regrets. God's been good to me. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord. for as much as you know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. Father, thank you for your goodness. Thank you for the call to serve you. Help us to have wisdom. Help us to have understanding. Help us to have diligence. Help our wives, help our children. For some of us, help our grandchildren. Pray especially for these young men getting ready to start a family, those who have young families. Father, help them to make time for their families, to prioritize their families. Prosper their work. Indeed, bless their ministry. But Father, along the way, bind them closely with their families by the cords of love. And we pray these things in Jesus Christ's name. Amen.