It's Ladies Night at Bible Study. Yes, we are here at our Marriage Covenant Bible Study and we are looking at for the ladies being a helpmate and companion in the enjoyment of life's pursuits. Genesis 2.18. Who would like to read that? One of the ladies. Remember what I said, I always ask questions as a Baptist first, don't I? Because they believe in free will. Then I'm also working as a Presbyterian. So Carol, you were predestined, evidently, to read this passage. So Genesis 2, 18, right? There weren't any free will Baptists in here or Methodists to do it. Genesis 2, 18. Then the Lord said, I mean the Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. Oh, Carol. Is it good for your husband to be alone? Well, here, no. No. But what if I don't want to go hunting with him? Well, we're going to talk about that. Is it good for your husband to be alone? I had a couple in Bible study. He worked for a large engineering company downtown. And he and I, we had lunch together once a week. I had a nice Christian wife, two little girls, and I asked her, do you ever have lunch? And I'll call him Hezekiah. She said, no, no. And I said, well, I have lunch with Hezekiah every Tuesday. We do Bible study together. I'm going to swing by and pick up you and the girls. Y'all dress really nice. And we went in there. Every secretary, every woman in that office All his male friends then knew that he had a knockout wife with two sweet little girls that he loved. But they should have known that a long time ago, because it wasn't good for Hezekiah to live as a single man in that office. And so that's a ministry you can have. That's what Eleanor would do. All the church secretaries, the receptionists, everybody knew I had a knockout wife. dressed up really nice and we had a Thursday lunch. A lot of times she would bring the girls with her, you know, if it was in the summer. They'd all be dressed nice. Because it's not good for men to live like they're single. Now you know that, don't you? So that's it. I mean, the Bible says that, but it doesn't say it's not good for Adam to be alone. It's not good for men to be alone. So ladies, don't do it. Don't let your husbands live like they're single. And don't let those ladies at the office, or at the airplane, or at the church, or wherever he works, get used to him being single. Because they're lonely, aren't they? And if you don't want to have lunch with him, who will? They'll be glad to, won't they? There will be a lot of lonely women out there, and the clock is ticking, and they will be glad to take care of your husband. I mean, he's a nice guy, isn't he? So, keep reading. It's not good for a man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him. Ah! So, that's you. That would be me. Or your man. There's a covenant need, isn't there? Don't make a helper, just write for him. Or don't marry him. Or don't do it. So Eleanor and I had a lot of talks. I was teaching high school. She was working for the TEA, Texas Education Agency. But I knew someday I wanted to do mission work. I knew that I wanted to be a pastor. I had a pretty good idea about the things that were coming down, what the Lord had in store for us. And we would talk about those things. And so she knew what she was getting into. And if you didn't, you should have. But you still have to have a contract. You still have to have a contract. A person buys a house and they find out that they have to buy insurance. They didn't know they were going to have to pay insurance so they don't have to do it. Is that right? It's not right, is it? When a person buys a house, they didn't know they have to pay taxes. They thought if they just paid cash for their house, then their troubles are over. They can live there free. Is that true? No. And did they get to say, well, you didn't tell me that. No. And same with marriage. Do your homework or not do your homework, but the covenant was made with God. He owes it to him. You didn't say it would be out in the past. Doesn't work with God. Doesn't even work with high school algebra teachers. How do you expect it to work with God? You shared with me how you were impressed that Rob took family photos with him on his flights and would show them to the flock crew so everybody knew he was a married man with a Bible child. Rob has a talk on the website on purity. when you're away from your wife. And it's consistently rated as the best talk on purity that's out there. So I really commend Rob for that. Yes. OK. It's not good to be alone, so go make a helper. So you are going to be his helpmate and his companion in his life's pursuits. So you're going to go. And it's good if you do your homework beforehand. Sam, when they moved to Houston, I went into his living room and there was a big steer head skull with a giant long horns right there in the living room. He went to you too. I said, well, I said, Sam, you know, I think that's great. I didn't even know we had these. I wish I had one of them. But really, you know, this is Anne's living room. She's supposed to make this your castle, you know, right there in the living room. Maybe it should be in your office. He said, no, no, those are Anne's. They were in her dorm room. So he's, you know, Sam likes to fly fish. But when he was courting Ann, that's one of the most fun times they had together. Because she likes to fly fish. And she likes to camp. She likes to hunt and shoot. What if you don't like to hunt and shoot? Well, then you're like my daughter, Rebecca. And I have pictures of her hunting and shooting. And if there's any daughter I raised further from that lifestyle, it's her. She married a hunter and a shooter, and you can let your husband go out hunting and shooting with a bunch of hard-driving, hard-living, beer-drinking men who end up doing things they don't want to do. Or you can go with him. And even when she's not there, you know, when it's just, she takes him out breakfast and cooks for him. Her and the boys, they'll be out hunting. She'll show up, you know, cook them breakfast. Be their biggest fan. They're all opening their can of beans. He's having a little gourmet breakfast. But the real answer to that, Carol, which is, Carol, the real answer to that, because it's an excellent question, is what if your husband doesn't like to talk? Then you just, I don't know, you just... What if he doesn't like to talk? I told the guys they should be a conversational partner, and your husband didn't say this, but if he looked at me right in the face and said, John, I just don't like to talk to Carol. I just don't like to talk. I'm not, you know. I like sex, and I like her cooking for me, but I just don't want to talk to her. What would I say to her? Learn. Read a book. Let her help you. Talking, it's talking to your wife, it's not I'm sorry. So, now, what if you don't like that? So, whether... I should have said, shoot, shoot, go, run, hurry, he's going to shoot you, run! Okay, now, if you want me to tell your husband, learn, what's good for the gander is not good for the goose. That means I have to look at a dead animal, okay. Yeah. Well, yeah, I just don't want to shoot him. You don't have to, you just have to be his helpmate, his companion, and his biggest fan. Okay? So this is what we're going to look at. That's an excellent question, by the way. This is what we're going to look like. And one of the things we're going to talk about is roommate, playmate, soulmate, helpmate. Because in some marriages, they're roommates. You're not roommates in college. You're just living together, you're having sex, you've got your job, he's got his, you've got your church, he's got his, you've got Your money, he has his money. You have your fun things, he has his. Sometimes you do things together, sometimes you don't. You just all get along. You're roommates. Divide up the work around the house. Roommates. But marriage is more than that, isn't it? John, I used to facilitate a divorce group picture. And a lot of women, it was just what A lot of women would say that. Well, things got really bad and you just became a woman. So that's very difficult. But when things go down, it's because the term changed. And I think divorce recovery classes and alcoholism classes and all those classes, I don't see anything wrong with them. But I think this type of class is also important, which is what you need to do anyways. I'm not saying that if you're an alcoholic that you don't need to attend your AA meetings. But there are also some things that you should do anyways. There are some things in marriage that you just do. There are some things in the Christian life that you just have to do while you're recovering. You just have to do them. And this is what this class is. This is proactive. This is let's move forward. If you don't have the problems, don't develop them. If you do have the problems, while you're working them out, let's go ahead and get stronger. While you're getting out of debt, let's go ahead and live responsibly financially. While you're recovering from cancer, let's go ahead and live a healthy lifestyle and live responsibly for the future. Let's quit smoking. Let's start exercising. Let's start eating right. I'm going to start socializing with the right type of people. Let's go ahead and move forward. So good. So we're not going to be roommates. Playmate. And some people are just playmates. They like to do some fun things. And they have that in common. But that's all. And I know couples like that. They both like to ski. They like to dance. They like to go clubbing. They like cruising. They like fill in the black. They like golfing. It's kind of nice. You got a date. The wife is happy. She has a date every weekend. The guy's happy. He doesn't have to shop around for sex. So they're just playmates. Beyond that, they live independent lives. Or sometimes they're soulmates. You know, they're really into the same thing kind of spiritually. They go to church. They want to go to the same church. They like the worship service. They're very active in their church independently one from another. She's in the choir. He's on the finance committee. She attends the ladies' Bible study. He's in the men's discipleship group. She goes to Venezuela on the mission trip. He goes up to minister to the American Indians in North Dakota. She reads her translation of the Bible. He reads his. Their soulmates are involved, very active in church, but independently, one from another. Independently, one from another. Now, this is handy for churches. Why do churches want you in the men's study and her in the ladies' study, you working with the youth, you helping in the children's department, you going to North Dakota, you going to Venezuela, you in monthly Saturday morning prayer meeting, you in the all-night ladies' prayer meeting for men? Why do churches like that? It optimizes resources. And it's not messy, is it? So the church gets to relate to Pam as a single woman and to Rob as a single man. And so when you're, you know, Rob's not looking out for Pam. There's no couple interaction. There's none of that. The pastor's always in control. The leader's always in control. But it's very unhealthy. It's very unhealthy. And I think one of the most unhealthy things to do is to go on a mission trip separately from each other. That's extremely dangerous for your marriage. The second most unhealthy thing to do is to be in separate Bible studies from each other. Because those are very intense personal spiritual experiences which you can't really communicate to anybody else than the person that shared them with you. And that's not healthy for that not to be your wife. So ladies, hook up with him. So is there anything that the husband and the wife can do independently? Like, if I want to take a sewing class, I'm just being theoretical. My husband won't want to take a sewing class, but I kind of find it interesting to take a sewing class. I wouldn't want to have to put him through going to sewing class, but I'd like to learn. When it's the exception to the rule, that's no problem. But if your husband loves bridge, and there's a bridge club that meets, and you say to your husband, I don't want to learn bridge. You go play bridge. I'm going to take the sewing class. And he ends up with the spares. That's the unattached men and women. That's very dangerous, isn't it? And then he starts coming home a little later. And then he starts coming home a little later. And you're incensed at him because he's developed a relationship with his bridge partner. Well, should he develop a relationship with that bridge partner? No. Should he be forced to face that temptation? Double no. Because you should be his great grandfather. Then he wouldn't have to even face that temptation. So yes, there are things that you can do independently, but not as a lifestyle. I don't particularly enjoy painting. Megan and Eleanor go to one of these bottle and brush paint deals every once in a while. She's with her daughter. They're just having a fun night, or they go get pedicures, and they go to Charming Charlie's, and that's fine. But Eleanor and I do not shop as a lifestyle, independently from each other. I go shopping for suits, and go to a hardware store, and then go eat. And then she goes shopping at Macy's, and goes over to Charming Carly's, and then she goes eat too, and they just live separate lives together. No, so that's not love. We go out, we go shopping together, we eat together, we do some men's stuff together, we do some ladies' stuff together. And that's how you get close. She learns how, what I like. I learn what she likes. And I'll say, do you like, oh, Julie, do you like that? Do you like? I mean, I think it's pretty, but no, don't buy it from me. And then she'll say, do you like that? And I say, well, you know, not really. I know men are supposed to like that, but that's not the style I like. I really like this over here. Oh, OK. So that's how you learn. I was just going to say, add to what you're saying, that I think a lot of it, for us, just because we live in a 24-hour, confine their boundaries to our time. And especially if you both are spending the day apart from each other at your jobs or at home, whatever the situation is. there's only a small part of time that you can actually choose what to do with. So I think what he's talking about is not that it's wrong to develop your own interests, but in terms of priority, that may take a back burner so that you can emphasize time together. Then at some point, you know, maybe you do something like that that you enjoy that he doesn't, but that's not The danger is when we choose that and then another opportunity comes up and we choose that other independent thing and something else comes up, you know, and pretty soon that becomes a lifestyle. It's almost like we have to fight against the flow because our society moves in that direction. It's just another way we have to fight against the flow of society in order to develop that relationship. good. No, that's great. So, helpmate. If you're the helpmate, you're his roommate. You're his playmate. You're his soulmate. But, as a helpmate, you do it with him. In your career, are there people who are like assistants or in the service industry who who you rely on. The key word there is you rely on. It's not that, like HR department, it's not that you specialize in HR, but you are there on site for that petrochemical company as their HR. Which is different, isn't it? That's their expectation when they hire you. Not that you become the best HR that Methodist Children's Hospital has ever seen. That's not what they're paying. Not that that would be bad, that's just they are paying you to help them. So ladies, you signed up to be your husband's companion and helpmate because it's not good for him to be alone. It's dangerous. I don't follow that analogy. I'm sorry. Well, it's not. If the ladies are doing good things, you signed up to work with high school children. So all your church work is that your husband's real passion is the food pantry. It's not that working with the high school kids is bad. It's that you're not helping, being your husband's helpmate. You signed up to work for HR for Mega Oil Crop Corporation. If you spend all your time helping Methodist Children's Hospital get off the ground with their HR program, that's not bad. It's just not what you signed up for. You are not helping Mega Oil Crop Corporation. In fact, you're hurting them. Well, ladies? You signed up to be your husband's helpmate, and it's bad for him. The opposite of not good is bad. It's bad for him to be alone. He undergoes temptations and struggles, and he learns to live as a single man. And then you're surprised at his insensitivity and the tension he has. Well, he's functioning as a single man by your decision. Don't do that. But if you're both serving in church at the same time, and her gift is she won't make it in line to another over-40 church, it's not going to stop, is it? Yeah. Yeah, because you're not. Because unless your church is under 100 members, you're not serving together. You're just working for the same corporation in different departments. Say that again? Unless your church is under 100 members, where you are actually there rubbing shoulders and around each other all the time, you are. It's like saying, she's my helper in sales, but she works on the production line. I've got this giant plant facility, you may drive there together, but you're not doing anything together. You're in sales, she's in production. That's right, you're still in the same room together. But when you go to a large church that's over 100 members, you're in one wing, she's in another wing, all you did was drive to church together. Because if you think it's Christians and you have a good home, and things are good at home, you're still serving the church. I think the likelihood of a man or a woman hitting on somebody else in another department of the church... Happens all the time. Well, then they don't have a good home life. No, that's not true. But the thing we're stuck with is your wife is called to be your helpmate. So there's two things there. The ladies have to be willing to help their husbands. The husbands, your wife can't help you if you don't let her help you. She can't be your helpmate if you don't let her help you. So you need to do these things together. Good observation though. Let's move on. So if we are a roommate, playmate, soulmate, helpmate, we're going to do this together. And remember I asked y'all, do you want your spouse to be happy? Now that's different from saying my spouse should be happy, isn't it? saying, I want my spouse to be happy is different from saying, my spouse should be happy. Because a lot of times I say, yeah, do you want my spouse to be happy? And the guy or the ladies will nod their head. Yeah, he should be happy. He doesn't appreciate me. He should be. He's unhappy. He shouldn't be unhappy. Another, it's different from saying, yes, I want my spouse to be happy. And if I were him, I would be happy. But that doesn't cut it either, does it? Because, Carol, he's not a lesbian. So doing things that would make you happy will only work if he's a lesbian. He's not. He's not another woman. You're not living with another woman. So you have to figure out, ladies have to figure out how to be a husband's helpmate, not how to be one of the sisters in the Women's Bible Study Fellowships helpmate, which is a big difference, isn't it? I just don't understand what the big deal is that he wants to be digressing in a certain way. Good. Good. I don't understand why he... Well, good. Good. That means you're not a lesbian. You don't have to go to school. It's different from saying, when I understand why, I'll do it. Because you never will. You never will understand. Sometimes, some things we just have to take at face value, because the God says it. That's an unattainable condition. Yes? I have a question. So, as wives, we are to be our husbands helpers, right? But you can only provide help and support if the other, you know, if the husband wants to, right, receive the heavenly support. So that's one thing. The second thing is, does it say in the Bible that husbands are our support as well, or what does the Bible say about in that regard, when it comes to support that kind of thing? Yeah, okay. We'll look at two verses. First turn to 1 Peter 3, verse 1, please. Excellent question, by the way. 1 Peter 3, verse 1. If you want to pursue your spiritual gift independently from a woman, there's nothing wrong with that. Don't get married. I say this on the mission field all the time. I've looked missionaries straight in the face. They say, well, my wife, she's not healthy enough to do mission work, or she can't learn the language, or she doesn't like to travel, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I say, fine. I have no problem with that. I have no problem with that. You shouldn't have married her. If you did marry her, go home. Go home. And ladies, if you wanted to pursue your independently, on your own. I have no problem with that. Don't get married. Well, I have the gift of leadership. He doesn't have the gift of leadership. Well, one of two things. Marry a stronger man with the gift of leadership or surrender that. I can't surrender that. What did Jesus surrender? Ever read Philippians 2? He surrendered a lot. for the bride of Christ, the church, didn't he? He gave up his infinite omnipresence, didn't he? He gave up never experiencing any need. God is self-existence. He gave that up when he became flesh. He gave up a lot of things, didn't he? And so you take a bride, that's No problem. Ladies, you take a husband, no problem. But you're not going to be able to live independently of one another and have a good marriage. And that's the qualifier. Who gets to define what a good marriage is? Now you got this. That's the road. If you love me, you'll sleep with me. Teenage boy to teenage girl. Is he right? No. Who gets to decide that? God. Because some parents provide their daughters with condoms. God decides that. God decides what marriage is and what a good marriage is. We don't get to decide that. God gets to decide what a Christian is. God gets to decide what it means to love God. We don't get to decide those things. We can have opinions. Sometimes they're right, sometimes they're wrong. But we drop them against the plumb line. The Bible describes the Bible, one of the things, as a plumb line. We drop it against the plumb line of God's word, and where the wall deviates from the plumb line, we adjust it. So great! 1 Peter 3, 1. Go for it. Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands, so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. If you know that you need to be your husband's helpmate, and he doesn't want to help me, you pray for him, you love him, and every opportunity you have, you be his helpmate, and you wait for God the Holy Spirit to bring him around to where he'll let you help him. See? Sweetheart, Would you, I need some help. I'm working on my dissertation. I need some help with my dissertation. Would you help me? So, a little while later, she says, you want me to check your spelling? No, no, I don't want you to check my spelling. Well, can I type it up for you? No, I don't want you to type it up for me. Maybe I could go to the library, you know, do some research. No, I don't want you to do that. I want you to be my helpmate. It's nonsensical, isn't it? That's nonsensical. And it's nonsensical to say you're going to be your husband's helpmate, and you're not going to do things with him. You're his roommate, his soulmate, his playmate, but you're not his helpmate unless you help your mate. And then she can't be your helpmate if you don't let her help you. OK? So let's first be good. So you pray with him, and you just wait for him. Second question. What about the man? Ephesians 5.25. I already hollered at the man on this. Ephesians 5.25. Rob, would you read Ephesians 5.25, please? Excellent question, though. But I already yelled at the man on it. I started yelling at the man again. Ephesians 5.25. Husbands in the same way love your wife just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. So husbands sacrificially love, even to the point of death, of their wives. Love your wife. Sanctify her. You're proactive, not reactive. Husbands take the proactive lead. If the husband doesn't want to have a quiet time with you, you pray for him. You take opportunities to share your quiet time. You praise him. You love him. You don't nag him. You just wait. The wife doesn't want to have quiet time with the husband. The husband just keeps pushing, and asking, and inviting, and suggesting. What if the wife has a ministry she's really passionate about, and the husband doesn't really have anything he cares about? Can he just help her with theirs? She shouldn't have married him. Well, what if she did? Well, now she's married him. Now you have. Now you're his helpmate. First Peter 3.1. So should the husband help her? No, you're not your wife's helpmate. Your wife is your helpmate. She should make her quit. I didn't say she should make her quit. I didn't say you should make her quit. When she married you, she agreed to become your helpmate. That becomes her passion. It should be her decision. It is. It should be her decision. John 14.15, ladies. Wait, wait. John 14, 15, Carol. John 14, 21. John 14, 23. John 14, 24. John 14, what? 15. I don't mind doing this over and over again. This is fun for me. John 14, 15. If you love me, obey my commandments. Okay, what is the definition of loving God? Obeying. Obeying. What if you don't want to do it? Then you're not loving God. You don't love God. John 14, 21. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. What is the definition of loving God? Okay, so it's more than just an ethereal, mystical leadership of the Holy Spirit. There are specific commands in Scripture. John 14, 23. That's all right. It's all worth learning. So, and it's just not any old Bible verse. It's the written word of God. What God has said. John 14, 24. Ah! I think he's making a pretty serious point here. Jesus is repeating himself and repeating. He's coming in the front door. He's coming in the window. He's coming in the back door. He's trying to nail this down because he's about to die for our sins. Loving God is obeying him. I love God, but I can't tell people about Christ. I just can't do that. No, you don't love God. But I feel like I do. Great. If you love me, you'll sleep with me. That's no, no. You'll marry her. But that's how I feel. That's how I feel. So what we have to nail down here is that God says, and we're going to look at some other verses, you are your husband's helpmate. But he's not our helpmate. That's exactly right. He's your spiritual leader and protector. Actually, he has a harder job. Actually, we're going to see. Actually, we're going to see. He has the harder job. So good. Good questions, lady. So gentlemen, when we say she's your helpmate and companion, we do not do cruel expectations. You were dating her and you liked her because she was passive. Now you married her. And you want her to be this outgoing, aggressive athlete. That's cruel. You can't just become an athlete. You can go to football games with her. She can come to football games with you, but she can't. You have a quiet husband. He's an accountant. You liked that because you could do all the talking. Now you want him to be a leader in the church. You want him to be a public speaker. You want him to be the life of the party. That's cruel. You don't change the rules afterwards. But within the context of that, you are to be your husband's helpmate. Now, I like to play tennis. I know Elena doesn't like to play tennis. I know I wasn't marrying an athlete. You know, we knocked around the tennis ball some, but I basically gave that up when I married her. I know she's not going to ski, and I'm not going to be one of these guys who are always going away to the ski slopes without their wife and checking out the skinny tight little ski outfits that are on the slope that week. and flirting with the girls at the bar. Let me say something on that exact point. A group of Christian men who are all married and all go to church together and they make a ski trip as Christian men and go skiing. If it's a yearly event, And like a men's retreat, that's no problem. But it's not that way because I say so. What do I need? Now, what I have just said, as long as it's not a lifestyle, as long as it's an exception to the rule with the beginning and the rule, beginning and end, it's okay. But I am not Jesus Christ. I am not God the Father. I'm not God the Holy Spirit. I'm not the Pope. I'm not a holy apostle. I'm not a prophet. What do you want from me? to make that statement valid. It's not valid because I say so. What makes that statement valid? What do you need? You want a chapter and a verse in the Bible. Otherwise, it's just the force of my personality. So? You want a chapter and a verse, right? Okay, good. Let's go. Turn with me, your first friend is. Turn with me. But I will say this. I have never been in a Bible study where I've been freeing the couples to not have to live independent lives, where I've had more arguments that, yes, we want to live independently. So this is a first-time experience for me. So you have to be patient with me. I'm serious. Usually, this is one of the aha Bible studies. You mean we can do that? The pastor can't make us live separately. We don't have to live. We can be together guilt-free. Turn with me to 1 Corinthians 7. 1 Corinthians 7. Let's see, who asked the question? I guess Carol, you asked the question. Okay. 1 Corinthians what? 7 verse 2. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman should have her own husband. Why? Who? What is the call made on this? What's the issue? That's right. That's right. Verse 5. OK? And that was your question. So you get to read verse 5. Your question was, what about an annual event? And not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent, of the time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. So if you have a men's ski meeting, there's a bunch of Christian men, they used to be called snow and growth. And you're going to go out and you're all going to go slopes, you're all going to stay in the same cabin, you're not going to go drinking, you're not going to go bar hopping, and you're not going to be hanging around the slopes checking out and you're just going to do some skiing, every day you're going to come back, you're going to pray and talk, that's okay. It's the exception to your rule and you go back to mama. But what you don't get to do is your wife likes ballet or art and you like skiing. So on a regular basis, you go to the slopes And she goes to the art class. And then you're upset because she ends up in bed with the art teacher, or she's upset because you end up in bed with one of the snow bunnies. Because of immorality. And I just have to say, that sounds far-fetched, but I bet you John knows one of those people in every one of those situations. First Peter 5. Let's turn to First Peter 5. The objective in marriage is not to see how close you can get to the precipice without falling over. The objective in marriage is not seeing how close you can get to the precipice. The failure, the divorce, the affair, without falling over. The objective is to never go near. The objective is not the gray areas. The objective is white. And this is why. 1 Peter chapter 5, where is this? About 8? First figure, chapter 5. 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 8. Yeah. Yeah. Verse 8. Hey, that's pretty good. 5, 8. Go for it. Yep. You had the? The alert and a slower mind. Now, two things, man. Two things. What? What's the first one? Alert. Yeah. We can't snooze through this. No, because he asked me the question. Plus it says to the elders. So we can't snooze through this. So we're going to be, what's the other thing we're going to be? Yeah, let's be, we talked about being men, man. Not being boys. This is, the stakes are high here. Okay, keep going. We're going to be alert. and we're not going to be smart enough. Yeah. You don't have to go to sin. It's going to come to you. Satan promised. We were in South Africa and we were driving along the road and there was a zebra all by itself standing on the road. Yeah. So we stopped. Zebras don't stand on the road by themselves. In a little while, we saw a lioness head, just like a periscope, come up out of the grass and look at him and go back down. And she moved to the side and he moved to the side. And then she went over there. Now they were working their way down the road, so we just stopped and watched. And then she hopped up and began loping towards him. He, that zebra, took off and he ran into the tall grass and there were three other lionesses waiting and they jumped on him and rolled him over. And they ate him alive. They ate him alive. You cannot out think Satan. He is looking for you. We need to be alert and we need to be sober and we need to work hard at our marriages. It's not independent playtime. He doesn't want to ruin your quiet time. He wants to destroy your marriage. He wants to make your children bitter against God. He wants to make people where you work talk about how they're hypocrites at church. and not go to church on Easter. He wants to break your mother's heart and have her doubt whether there is a God in heaven, because my child is so unhappy. He wants to roar, and he's not just after a bad day. Okay, so let's look, ladies, and then we're gonna go out and we're gonna break up, because I answered a lot, sorry babes, I answered a lot of questions, and we didn't look at the Ecclesiastes passage. So let me do that real quick, and then I'll let them go. Turn with me to Ecclesiastes, please. These are excellent questions, by the way. Ecclesiastes. Ecclesiastes chapter 8, and we'll do 15. Pam, why don't you do that one? And who else hasn't read of the ladies? Has anybody not read? Have you read? Would you like to? Okay, I'll give you the next one. Ecclesiastes 8, 15. So I commend the enjoyment of life because there is nothing better for a person than the sun. Yes. God. because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. Okay, so it's a blessing. Now, Ecclesiastes 9, verse 7. So go ahead, eat your food and joy, and drink your wine and be happy. For God has told you of this. Wear His fine clothes with a splash of cologne. Life happily with the woman you love. Enjoy life with the woman you love. Your wife. All the days of your life. Why? Keep going. Why? Okay, ladies, men, it is your reward in life to have a wife who loves you and wants to spend time with you. Don't squander it. Wives, minister to your husband. Don't let some other woman take your place. And this verse is talking about his life pursuits. Find out. Buy a book. Read up on it. Learn how to do it. Get involved with his life. Because the question is, if you don't want to go fishing with him, who do you want? What woman in the church do you want to go? And gentlemen, We need to have a talk if you would rather go fishing with a man than your wife. Most men I know who go fishing with other men on a regular basis don't have that great a marriage or they're just stuck with it. But if they could have their wife there and they could go fishing and they could be talking and do a little lovey-dovey when things slow down, to just have a great time together and spend the day together. That's what they would prefer to do. And, you know, I know girls have girlfriends, that they like to do stuff with it. I don't get it. But you know what I really don't get? Guys with boyfriends. But see, if you got to girls with girls, you'd be late. That's exactly right. So it doesn't bother me. I understand it. The guy with the guys that, I don't know. No, girls walk, they hold hands, and they play with each other's hair. And they do all sorts of stuff together. I don't get it, but it's no problem. Because the Bible allows it in Proverbs. But boys with boyfriends who just like to hang out with boys, I don't get it. except for, they're probably not that fun to have their watch around because they're harping and criticizing and complaining all the time. So ladies, this is not being a help. I'm hot, I'm tired, I'm thirsty, this is boring. You all know what it's like to take a bratty teenager on an outing trying to do something fun for them and having them spoil it by their whining and their complaining and their passive and active resistance, don't you? And they ruin the whole day, don't you? Don't they? Don't do that. Don't do it to your husband, ladies. Don't. Why would you set... Your husband wants to spend the day for you. You've been praying for it all your life. He says he's going to do it with you, and now you sabotage it. Why? Why? Why would you do that? What if you knew he would love to go hunting at 4 o'clock in the morning, and just commute with Mother Nature, and you're just praying, please let us shoot a deer. Can you do that? You can do it. You can do it until that morning that you hear that you get the text from Jezebel, who also has time on that lease. What if he's on your own farm? We have a farm and he likes to go out in the pasture by himself. I have no problem with you having hobbies as long as it's not a lifestyle. Remember, that's the theme. But if he's with his son. If he's with his son. And then what problem do you have getting to know all about hunting? making sure that helping him get his gear together the night before, getting up early, and taking a camp breakfast out there, talking, hunting with him, and being his biggest fan. Because you're the oldest deer on the deer, and... That's not... I get it, I get it, I get it. I know what she's asking, so let's... they go to their farm, That's no problem. That's not an event. But what I'm talking about is men, during dinner season, they hop in their pickup truck and they leave Friday at noon and they get back Sunday night and that's a lifestyle. And that's the lifestyle. And I'm talking about a lady who's a Bible teacher, who every weekend, she's at this lady's conference, or this speaking deal, or this church, or this firm meeting, and the yellow sticky notes on the microwave. That's what I'm talking about. Ladies, you give that up. You give that up. Be as helpmate, or don't get married. Don't get married. He's not your date. You're his date. That's, that's the bottom. Because remember, I, and I told the guy that I didn't want, I wanted to talk about the ladies, but you guys kept bringing it back to you. So it's not my fault. So let's close in prayer. Rob, close us in prayer. are doers of your word, not just hearers. I pray that your verse, that your word will convict us and change the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts, and that your truth will sanctify us, and that we'll have strong marriages, and we'll glorify and honor you by our obedience to your word. Amen. Amen.