once again to first timothy chapter three first timothy three again we are in the first seven verses the sermon text this morning is going to be focusing primarily on verses four and five but we'll read the first seven verses and then we'll also head over to titus And there we will also read verses 7 through 9. So 1st Timothy chapter 3 verses 1 through 7 and then Titus chapter 1 verses 7 through 9. People of God, this is the word of the living God, so give heed and hear the word of the Lord. The saying is trustworthy. If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive. For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil. I'm turning over to Titus chapter one beginning in verse seven. For an overseer as God's steward must be above reproach, must not be arrogant or quick tempered or drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict." I also missed a verse there, but that's alright. We'll come back to Titus in just a little bit. Well, as we come back to our household series. We are in first Timothy Chapter 3 going through the qualifications for the office of the overseer or of the elder. In particular, this morning we're going to be looking most closely at verses 4 through 5, though perhaps we might get through verses 6 and 7 as well. But you'll happen to notice that verses 4 through 5 and this idea of managing his own household well gets more attention than pretty much anything else among the qualifications that are listed here for the office of overseer. And given the attention that it gets, that ought to let you know that it's a fairly important aspect of the qualifications for the elder. In verse five, Paul lets us know exactly why it is that this is as important as it is, because how a man manages his household determines his ability to manage, shows his ability to manage the household or the assembly, the church of God. And so it's of great importance that those who would be seeking or aspiring to the office of elder and those who would think to elevate someone to the office of elder that they think through well this idea of managing the household. And so this morning we'll see the main point of the sermon this morning being that The elder must manage his household well. And we'll look at that along these following lines. First, we'll look at what it is to manage the household. Secondly, we'll look at what it means to manage the household well. Secondly, or thirdly, with dignity. Fourthly, with children in submission. And finally, caring for God's church. So let's begin this morning by the first phrase here in verse four. He must manage his own household well. But before we begin, there are a couple of contextual things for us to keep in mind so that we can kind of grasp exactly what Paul is saying here, especially in our context being as far removed from what it is and having lost some elements of what a household is as we've gone forward in terms of history itself. There are two things in particular that we need to keep in mind. The first thing is what an actual household is. Now for most of us we think in terms of the nuclear family, right? That is parents and children. But the idea of the nuclear family is a fairly recent innovation. Households throughout history have been much broader than that. For most households, it's been not just your nuclear family, not just your children, if your parents, and not just your parents, if your children and your siblings, but also your extended family, at least considering your actual grandparents, and sometimes even more than that, that often Households were more than just a mom, a dad, and kids, but also grandma and grandpa and kids, perhaps sometimes uncles and aunts, and perhaps sometimes even nephews and nieces. Think of Abraham, who was in Abraham's household. It was Sarah, ultimately his children as well, but there was also Lot, and who was Lot? Lot was his nephew. So the idea of household was broader than what we're accustomed to today in terms of our historical period. That's not to say that no one today has a household that contains extended family as well. There are those who rightly so care for their parents. or care for those who are part of their extended family for whatever reason it may happen to be. They all live together. There are still those who pursue sort of a generational household perspective. But in the main, most of us have thought in that small and that tiny sort of idea of what a household is. But that hasn't historically been the case. And it would contain not just your relatives and extended relatives, but if you happened to be in the position to be more well-off, it would also be your servants as well. They would be considered part of your household. Thinking back once again to Abraham, remember before he has an heir, who is it who is set up to be his heir? It's his steward. It's his chief steward who cares for his household, who would become the heir to his household itself and all of the things that he possessed. So servants were contained within households as well. So we need to understand that household is a bit broader than what we are accustomed to. And so when we see this idea of managing household, even though we'll see in just a bit an emphasis on children in particular, we understand then, because of the broadness of household, why it was such an important feature for looking at a man and seeing whether or not he was qualified for office because he had a lot of people that he was to be caring for. There was great opportunity for him to present his ability to watch over, govern, oversee, and care for those in his household, perhaps in a way that we don't quite have today. It's not to say we don't have it at all, but not quite the same as today. So keep that in mind. And then secondly, the household was not nearly as private as we conceive of it today. For us, we like to keep our immediate nuclear family households tight guarded and private whereas historically. households have had a very public face and a very public side, in particular in terms of economic engagement. It wasn't just a husband or a wife or both going outside of the four walls of the domicile into a workforce that was separate from the house. Rather, the whole household was engaged economically and publicly and socially as well. In other words, you could actually see what a man's household looked like because it wasn't a private and guarded institution like we conceive of it today. We have individualized our families as much as we have individualized ourselves, and we need to understand two things about that. One, that's a novelty historically. Two, it's probably not the best thing ever. Our households should be engaged in the world in which we live, should have a public and social face so that people might both see the gospel at work within our homes and in our families, but also so that people might, in the church, be able to evaluate how it is that Men are qualified for this office. So there's two things to keep in mind and two things that ought to direct our households. Now today may not necessarily be as big as we used to be, but our households should still be engaged in the social sphere. as families should be presenting the gospel to our lost neighbors and should be presenting the love of the church to our brothers and sisters as well. And in that sense, we can begin to understand why managing the household is as important as Paul makes it out to be. So with those two things in mind, let's look at that first element, managing his own household. The word managing there means govern, to take charge of, to direct, and to lead. That's the idea there. Very much the way as we think of a store manager or a restaurant manager, what's the point of the manager? to ensure that the affairs of the store or the affairs of the restaurant are properly ordered properly directed so that it's set up for success, and so that those who are within its sphere are also properly taken care of as they all seek to achieve the common goal. Whether it be selling the wares of the store or selling the food of the restaurant, whatever it may happen to be, there are managers whose job is to govern that location in such a way that the business itself operates properly above board, but also that those who are within the business, if they're good managers who care about their employees, which I understand is suspect a lot of the times, if they're good managers who care about their employees, are also setting up their employees for success and caring for and making sure that their employees are in a good position. That's the idea here. governing, managing the household, ensuring that the household runs well, runs effectively, ensuring that the members of the household are properly cared for, are properly protected and are put in the position to succeed in whatever it is they are doing in whatever way that the family is putting forth that public social face, as well as the interrelationships of the household as well. It is to govern the household to ensure its proper operation. And that's going to look different for every household and every family. I know when we have that idea of governing or managing the household, we all have the question, well, what does that look like? What does that mean in terms of specifics? I can't answer that for you. Every household functions differently. And the way that it functions determines how that it is governed. So husbands, men, as your household functions in the way that it functions, understand that your job is to ensure that it functions well in that way, to make sure that your household members are cared for, are protected, are put in the best position for success and thriving in whatever endeavor that they are engaged in to ensure that your household is directed appropriately. And we'll look that a little more closely when we get into the actual Christian household. But that's the general idea right now. To govern your household in such a way that it is set up for success. And that is a broad definition of success. Spiritual success, economic success, and that's not necessarily in the sense of your household makes a lot of money, as much as it is that your household is productive in its contribution to the greater social world. Way too much. We think in terms of economics, just in terms of how many dollars I make, and we have a successful household. If we're rich, that's not the idea. Scripture doesn't care about that. What it cares about is that your engagement in economics and the social sphere is such that you are positively contributing to the wellbeing of your community and your social sphere. So we're making sure that our households are operating well on the spiritual level, to the degree that it lies within us, that we're operating well on the social level, that we're productive and beneficial members of the communities that we find ourselves in. That's your job, husbands. To ensure that the inner working relationships in your households are functioning as they ought to be to the degree that it lies within your control. We're not, we're not God. We don't have the opportunity to, to do what he does, but to, to the degree that we have control in terms of our own behavior. We manage our households. We govern our households. We're going to see in just a minute that that means something in terms of our disposition. Secondly, he must manage his own household. Well, and that's exactly what it sounds like. You need to do a good job. You need to do it rightly. We can tell the difference in the work sphere. between good managers and bad managers. You have good managers who are concerned with providing for the customer the right and proper service so that the customer is receiving what the customer intends and should receive. good managers who are looking to build morale within the company that they're serving, within the store that they're working in, who want to see that their employees are in good relationship with one another, who want to see that their employees are interacting with the public in a positive, kind fashion, who want to see their employees do well. Not just in terms of the store itself, but of their broader life. And so they manage in such a way that optimizes these things. They do it well. They do it rightly. They know how to do this. Some of you may or may not have had managers like that, but that's That's the idea here, that there are some people who just do this well, who just do this rightly. And that's the idea. You are to govern your household, but not just govern it, because there are good and bad ways to govern, but to govern your household well, rightly, properly, appropriately in a good fashion. Attentive to the needs within your household. Attentive and understanding with how the household can best engage with the world outside of it as well. You need to be able to govern your household well. Right? Thirdly, Governing the household well, but with all dignity. Governing in such a way as to garner respect. Treating people and carrying yourself in such a way as to garner respect. Right? Basically, the way that you should understand that is that all of those characteristics that have been piling up through the verses thus far should obtain within the household itself. That within the household, it's not just an external facade in which you are above reproach, but the way that you deal with the members of your own household should be above reproach. That you should be faithful to your wife in everything that entails in that broad sense that we looked at a few weeks ago. That you should be self-controlled in your relationship with your wife. Sober. clear-headed in your relationship with your wife and with your children and whoever is in your household if your household is broader than that nuclear family. That you should be respectable. That you should be a good thinker, hospitable, able to teach, able to instruct your own children. Because as we know, we are to raise our children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. We know that in Deuteronomy, God commanded the households of Israel to ensure that their children knew God, his mighty acts, his commandments, his good path for them. not violent but gentle, not abusive towards your wife or towards your children, not verbally abusive, not physically abusive, not quarrelsome, not that father who's always picking, or not that husband who's always picking a fight with his wife, not that father who's always picking at his children, always quarreling, always arguing, That all of this idea of this above reproachness should obtain in the household first a dignified respect worthy father, a dignified respect worthy husband. who, because his governing of his household is done well and rightly, his wife respects and loves him, and his children respect and love him. Is the idea there? With all dignity. And let me clue all of you in. that the chief way in which you are going to garner the respect of your wife or of your children is if you give them respect. Husbands, if you want to govern your household with dignity, then you need to treat your wife with dignity. That she has not been put there to be your servant, to meet all of your needs, to do whatever you would do while you go and pursue all of your interests. That's not why God gave you a wife. She gave you to be an essential, integral, important part of the proper functioning of your household. And she is worthy of dignity, respect, and honor. If you want your wife to respect you, then treat her with dignity and respect. Likewise with your own children. Obviously, children and parents are on a one-to-one plane because we have authority over our children. We are responsible for their discipline and their instruction. We do have the authority to command them the do's and don'ts of the household. We're not talking one-to-one, but nonetheless, your children bear the image of God. and thus they are to be treated with dignity and with the respect proper to children as well. Your children are not your slaves. Your children are not your servants. Your children are not to be silent and unheard. Your children are not to be viewed as inconveniences and hassles. They have been given to you by God as a blessing with value and with worth. If you want your children to respect you, respect your children. Treat them with dignity. Value the image of God within them. And let me give you a little word of advice. One of the chief ways that we can value the image of God in our children is recognizing that they weren't given to us without purpose, but for purpose. So often today in our culture we think that children are to be raised to play and to merely enjoy being children. It's not to say that children shouldn't play or enjoy being children, but there's more to it than that. They have been given and created with purpose to contribute to the well-being of the household itself and to contribute to the greater society. And so we ought to grant our children, if we treat them with dignity and respect, the level of responsibility that they can handle to be properly purposeful in the way that they engage in the household relationships and in the world as well. That's properly governing your children, putting them in a position to both recognize that they have a broader purpose than their own pleasure and play. and to therefore carry out that purpose in loving their brothers and sisters and their parents and their grandparents and their uncles and their aunts, nieces, nephews, and the community that they're in, and positively contributing to that community. He must manage his own household. He must govern it. He must govern his household well. in a right and proper fashion, and he must do so in a manner that warrants respect. Fourthly, keeping his children submissive. That is, keeping his children under control, but try to think of that in a better way. That is, keeping his children in such a way that they are not the rowdy carousers that so often is characteristic of children. That's the part that I messed up in our Titus readings. I missed that section. But Titus gives us a sort of broader application and understanding in verse 6. If anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife and his children are believers rendered better are faithful and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. That is to say that you don't have grossly immoral children who are disrespectful and unwilling to yield to the authority of the father and the mother for that matter. An elder who has children should be conducting his household in such a way that his children are indeed giving him the proper respect that is due to him as their father. In other words, his children are actually observing the fifth commandment. Honor your father and your mother. So fathers, that has to do something with you. And it's really a reiteration of that idea of dignity, that if you're governing your household well, if you want your children to be in submission, if you want them to be yielding to your governance and your direction, That means you need to be prosecuting, carrying out your relationship in such a way that naturally garners their respect. That you treat them well. That you are reasonable in your expectations. That you are equitable in your discipline. That you are not overbearing and harsh and abusive in the way in which you address your children's indiscretions and sinfulness. that you don't expect of them things beyond what they are capable of, nor do you expect nothing of them at all. It is the idea that your relationship with your children, your exercise of your parental authority is done in such a way that your children's response, as far as it depends on you, is to give to you the respect that your very disposition itself causes people to have. I'm not personally given to very many personal anecdotes, but when I read that, I think of my own father. My father was a man who treated me with proper respect and dignity. My father didn't expect too little, and my father didn't expect too much. My father's discipline was always even-handed and equitable, not overboard and not underboard. And while I spent a time in my life, once I got outside of my household, in which I myself was not faithful, one of the chief reasons why I am where I am is because I could never get out of the back of my mind my father and the respect that I had for him as both a faithful minister of God's Word, but a wonderful father. And that's one of the things that God used to draw me back to himself. Men, whether or not you aspire to the office, this is what you should be striving for. And all of us are going to have moments of frailty and weakness. All of us are going to lose our temper with our children. All of us are going to have moments in which our discipline simply isn't equitable, is greater than it ought to be or lesser than it ought to be. All of us are going to have moments when we say to our children things that we shouldn't say, things that don't convey the dignity that they have as bearers of the image of God. We're all going to have those failings. This isn't calling for perfection in these things, but it is rather calling for the idea that this is what is normally the case. That in the main, this is what this household looks like. That in the main, this is how this man governs his household, orders it, manages it, conducts the affairs of this household. Sometimes it might be necessary that through the difficult times of life, especially in those relationships between fathers and children, where a man, even if he is an elder, might need to take a step back, might need to go on sabbatical for a while in order to get his household in order. That's fine. We need to not be so harsh about that. But nonetheless, when in the process of governing the Church of God, it is important that the household of the elder be in its proper place, look like it ought to look in the main and normally. Because this is an argument from the lesser to the greater. And that's what we find in v. 5. For if someone does not know how to manage, how to govern his own household, if he's not in the position to do this well, or he's not doing this well, then how can he care for God's church? If in this small thing, he is failing miserably, How can he expect to be successful in this greater thing? Is the idea here. If he cannot govern his own household, how can he govern the household of God? The even greater responsibility with even more moving parts. If you want to look at it that way. But there's something really important here that sort of encapsulates everything that Paul is saying in verses 4-5 and that we'll conclude with today. How will he care for God's church? And it sort of puts the finishing touch on how we ought to understand managing or governing the household well. You'll notice this morning that we read the parable of the Good Samaritan. We did that for a reason. Because that word translated as care only occurs in one other place in the entirety of the New Testament. Do you know where that is? It's in the parable of the Good Samaritan. And so what you are to understand from that is that both in terms of your own household, but also the household of God, the same care that is displayed there in the parable of the good Samaritan is the same care that is to personify is to, to be what you are husbands and elders. And that's not surprising because the best Samaritan is Jesus Christ himself. And we are under shepherds of the shepherd. And the tender care that Jesus expends towards his enemies, weak and sick and dying, is the same care that we are to expend towards our sheep. towards our families and so when you read that parable of the Good Samaritan you find him coming across a person that he should have no care for socially speaking a person who's an outcast a person who's the other a And you come across him, and not only does he stop, unlike the actual brothers of that man lying on the road, the Levite and the priest, related to him by clan and blood and lineage. As they pass by, when they had the greater obligation, the Samaritan stops. And he offers tender care. He binds up the wounds. He cleans and dresses the wounds of that man by the side of the road. And he takes him and brings him to a place of shelter, a place where he'll be safe. And not only that, He pays to ensure that that good treatment, that His recovery will be covered by the Keeper of that Inn. And beyond that says that if what I've given you isn't enough to ensure that the job is complete, to ensure that His care reaches its necessary point for His well-being, I'll come back and I'll settle up that debt with you later. That's the picture, husbands. That's the picture, fathers. That's the picture, elders, that is to be your model of governing your household and governing the church and household of God. That your governing is not one of authoritarian, dictatorial control in which you are always asserting your will for your own will's sake and making everyone subservient to it, but rather it is to have the heart and tender care of Christ whose desire is that your wife would be everything and have every opportunity to be whatever God has intended her to be. That your children should have every opportunity and ability to be what God has called them to be. That they are cared for that they are protected, that they are receiving love of neighbor in a way that reflects what God calls all of us to do, that's what all of this means. I think perhaps now we might understand why it is that Paul, under the inspiration of the Spirit, puts so much, relatively speaking, energy into what this thing is. Why it occupies more space in this list of qualifications than anything else. Because this tender care in the governing of your own household is the way in which we who are outside see whether or not the love of the shepherd is present within you. And the wisdom of the Shepherd is present within you. And the care of the Shepherd is present within you. And the desire to protect the sheep of the Shepherd is present within you because we can see it there on full display in the way that you care for your family. That's why it matters. That's why if we were to overlook anything, this should be the last thing to overlook even though it's generally the first. It matters how you govern your household. It matters how you care for your wife. It matters how you care for your children. Because the way you govern your household is the way that you would govern the church. And men, let me tell you something. If you would not want to be governed the way you are governed, the way that you are governing, maybe you ought to change that. If you would not you want your elders to govern you as your under shepherds. The way in which you govern your families. Maybe it's time to reconsider your strategy. Or someone does not know. How to manage his own household? How will he care for God's Church? Let's pray together this morning. Our Heavenly Father, we are once again thankful for Your Word. And above that, we're thankful for Your care, for the way in which You govern Your universe. And we're thankful for Your Son, our King, our High Priest, our Prophet, and the way in which he governs us with tender, loving care. Father, may we see what is presented to us in the image of Jesus and desire that we might reflect the same thing. May we who are husbands look like Jesus looks. May those who are wives look like Jesus looks. May those who are elders and deacons look like Jesus looks. May children grow in looking like Jesus looks in our love for one another and our tender care for one another. And may you raise up those who will be Christ to the church as undershepherds in the way that you have called them to be, so that your family, that your household might be governed well and set up to be prosperous in the pursuit of the purpose that you have given it, to glorify you and honor you for the well-being of one another, and for the world at large. We ask these things in Jesus' name, Amen.