to the letter of 1 Peter, 1 Peter 3. We'll be reading 1 Peter 3 verses 1 through 12. Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives. When they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear, do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him, Lord, whose daughters you are, if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. Finally, all of you be of one mind. having compassion for one another, love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous, not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. For he who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good. Let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. Thus far the reading of God's holy word. You may be seated. With a difficult topic today, a topic that in many ways I would rather not deal with. It's not a difficult topic because of the subject matter itself, but it's a difficult topic because of the prevalent view of our society today. It is a difficult topic because many people don't want to hear this word and often will just outright dismiss what we're going to be talking about and what the apostle himself talks about. They often dismiss this as male chauvinism or something like that. But brothers and sisters, this is a topic that our God addresses. This is one of the reasons that we go through, I go through the scripture, go through books of the scripture rather than jump from verse to verse and from text to text, because I can tell you that if I would jump from text to text, I would not, this would not be my first choice in dealing of a topic to deal with. And yet it is a topic that our God speaks of over and over and over again at various times and in different ways in the scriptures. And it is an important topic. It's a topic that needs to be addressed. And it's the topic of modesty, a gentle and quiet spirit. and in particular, the behavior of women. Now, of course, oh, I see all the men just sort of sitting back and saying, oh, good, let them have it. Now, we don't, you know, this is not dealing with us. But brothers, you need to be listening as well, for there is much in this passage that addresses you and your heart as the apostle himself deals with women and how they are to be. Now, one of the most difficult things that I found, there were a number of difficult things, but one of the difficult things that I found when I was teaching was that our students would have uniforms. And there were always this thing called uniform infractions. Now, with the guys, it was pretty easy for me to deal with and address these uniform infractions. But for the girls, it was something much more difficult. The skirts were up too high, and as a male teacher trying to address them, it just was difficult. So I would have to go to one of my female colleagues, one of my colleagues, and say, would you please address so-and-so? Because really, they're not being dressed very modestly, even with uniforms. And how is it that within, within the school system, and I taught in a Christian school, we would have just such an issue. You see, it's this issue of modesty, of gentleness, of spirit, and it doesn't take you long to realize that modesty is something that has been thrown out the window. You just have to look at the advertisements that you see on the radio, or see, that you hear on the radio, that you see on the TV, that you see on the bulletin boards. The news events that take place of certain, well, in certain places, they have these great big parades where people walk around, with immodesty, no apparel on whatsoever. And that's touted in our society as something that's being very great. You go to the beach, you see this immodesty. How is it that we as Christians are to be dealing with and addressing these particular topics? Do you think that this is a difficult topic? Do you think that this is an important topic? Do you think I should actually be dealing with this topic? Like I said, if I didn't, then I'd be skipping a very important part of what God himself speaks to us, an important part of the counsel of God. You see, the Apostle Peter addresses this issue, and he believed it was important. And so it must be important for us as well. The Apostle Peter is writing to believers who are facing much persecution, Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, Bithynia, facing persecution. In the first section of the Apostle Peter, he was writing to encourage them as they were facing much struggle and difficulty. And in the second section of the letter of First Peter, he is dealing with a number of topics. And you could summarize all of these topics in this section as submission. He deals with the submission to those in authority over us, to rulers and governors. He dealt with the submission of servants to masters. And then he gave us that beautiful example of Christ submitting to the will of God in his death upon the cross, in the suffering that he endured. And now here in verse three, he turns his attention, the apostle turns his attention to addressing women, the women of the church. And you will see by God's grace that God delights in a quiet and gentle spirit of a woman toward her own husband. that God delights in a quiet and gentle spirit of a woman toward her own husband. You will see the winning conduct of a godly woman, the inner beauty of a godly woman, and the biblical example of a godly woman. First of all, the winning conduct of a godly woman. Notice how Peter begins this text, wives. He is addressing the ladies. He is addressing those in particular who are married. Those who have taken vows, now I'm not sure exactly how the Gentiles would have done so if there was some kind of a legal process, but those who have been married in the eyes of the Lord and of the state are united in holy matrimony. And Peter is addressing those. Now, for those who are single here, don't sit back and say, okay, I don't have to listen because this is not about me, this is about those who are already married Well, if by God's grace, he grants to you a husband one day, then this also will apply to you. And it also applies to all to live in the way that the apostle Peter is describing. He is addressing women. He is addressing those who are to be the help meats of their husband. He addresses the relationship of wives to their husbands. And notice the way he says wives. gets your attention. I'm speaking to you, to a particular group. Likewise, be submissive to your own husbands. Likewise. What does that mean? Well, in the same way, similarly, just like. Well, in what way, in how are they supposed to be likewise? Well, he is saying, likewise, follow the example of your Savior. Because you remember it was Jesus who was the eternal Son of God who became flesh. He laid aside all of his glory and he submitted to the will of God the Father. We saw that last week in our text. He submitted to the will of God our Father even to the point of death. And now having given this example, this example which sits right in the middle of Peter's explanation of what it means to submit, he says, wives, likewise, follow the example of your Savior. You are to do what Jesus does. And what is it in particular that the apostle addresses? He says, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands. That is, you are to obey your husbands in all that is biblical, that is lawful. Now this is where our world tends to want to run away and turn away from this. We do not like the idea of submitting to one another. One of the most difficult things that any of us can do is to receive correction. Now, I know I said this in recent weeks and immediately something came up in my own life that I had to submit to, that I had to realize, hey, this is true, but I didn't like it. And none of us like to submit. But the apostle here is speaking directly to wives. He says, you are to submit to your own husbands. You are to obey them in all things biblical and lawful. You see, in our day and in our age, this is something that we do not see anymore. Just look at the forms of entertainment. What is it that entertains? Usually it's the father that's the dummy, it's the father that is kind of the loser, and it's the mother that's the solid person. She's the one that leads and she's the one to follow. But that just turns this whole relationship upon its head. You see, the husband is the one that is to lead. The husband is the one that is to make the decisions. Now, I wanna be very careful here that we don't go sort of to the other extreme where you have this power play, where the husband say, well, you have to listen to me because I'm your husband. The apostle Peter is gonna address husbands next week. You know, we don't, as husbands, we don't get to lord it over our wives. And there's these movements of, I think, what's it called, patriarchy, the patriarchal movement, which says that the father has absolute and complete control in the family, irregardless of what wives or husbands should say. But that's not what the Apostle Peter is speaking about. Okay, husbands, we need to keep in mind that we are to love our wives. But again, the apostle is speaking to wives. You are to submit to your husbands. You are to obey them in all things that are lawful and biblical before God. And this is something that since the fall into sin has been a problem, hasn't it? We have seen that women have tried to usurp the authority of man and have tried to take first place. And sadly, men have been more than willing to give it up. We have been more than willing to just say, yeah, go ahead. You take the lead. You take the role. Yet that's not what the apostle Peter is saying here. Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that if some do not obey the word, they may without a word be won by the conduct of their wives. Why are you to submit to your husbands? Now, the apostle here has in mind husbands who do not know the Lord. Those, you know, women who are Christians who have come to know the Lord Jesus Christ, but whose husbands are still living pagan lives. He's not writing to the Jews in which everybody knew of the law in the Old Testament and so on, but he is writing to those who have just become Christians, whose wives, whose husbands have not followed Christ, and who perhaps are hostile to the Word of God, and who want nothing to do with the Word of God. And he says, be submissive to your husbands. do what they ask, those things that are biblical, those things that are right. Now I know of different people Husbands and wives are those who have been, as the scripture would describe it, as being unequally yoked, where Christian women have married non-Christian men. And the husband begins to say, well, you may not go to church. Well, in that case, that is contrary to the law of God. We are to meet together. And so that would be something that a Christian woman could not do. But if he said, you may not go to that church, which is way over there, but he allows you to go to this church, which is five minutes away, that I think would be submitting to your husband and still doing what is right. You are to submit to your husbands in all things that are right, that they may be won by the conduct, by your conduct, by how you live and by how you act. Ladies, the world looks and the world sees you. The world sees how you interact with your husbands. The world sees how you interact with your brothers and with your sisters, how you interact with your parents. And they are watching very carefully. And you are being a shining example. You are to be a shining example. of winning not just unbelieving husbands, but also the world around you. For when the world looks at Christians whose marriages and whose lives are lived according to the word of God, they can't help but notice that there's something different. They just can't. And what is it? It is that faithful application of what the Apostle says, be submissive to your own husbands. And that reminds me, it's to your own husbands. Just because somebody is a husband doesn't mean you have that same, they have that same authority over you. You understand what I'm saying? It is to your own husbands that you are to be submissive, that you are to live at peace with them, that they may be one without a word, that they may be one by your conduct, that they may know that you belong to Christ and that Christ is yours. Brothers and sisters, those who do not know God, look and watch very intently at your life. They want to see if you are going to walk your talk. They often know enough about the scripture to know what kind of a relationship Christians ought to have, especially husbands and wives, ought to have one with another. So how you act, how you live, has a tremendous impact upon what others think about God, how they approach God. Your life is a megaphone. What does your life broadcast? Your marriage is a megaphone. What does it proclaim to everyone? For everyone can hear. what you broadcast in your relationship with your husband and with your wife. You see, God delights in a quiet and gentle spirit of a woman toward her own husband. You've seen the winning conduct of a godly woman. She has to submit to her husband in all things biblical and all things lawful. But notice the apostle speaks of the inner beauty of a godly woman. It is to be more than just external. Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." You see, the apostle now turns to the beauty of a woman. What is it that makes a woman beautiful? Is it what she puts on? Is it the externals which accentuate her beauty? You see, many in our day and age mistake beauty for externals. Hair, fine gold, fine clothes, as the apostle says, but all of those things merely cover up what's there. Some use tons and tons of makeup to make them look beautiful, and yet you can be covered with all kinds of makeup and be the most unloving, unkind person in the world. Now, the apostle is not forbidding external beauty. Please don't misunderstand me, okay. There's nothing wrong with those sorts of things, but the emphasis must not be on external things only. I have known or I've seen some of the most beautiful women in the world who are the most who are the person I would least want to be spent any time with at all. I remember seeing recently, well recently and a while ago, a TV show in which there was this really beautiful woman, really gorgeous woman, and yet she was the one that was trying to kill the main protagonist. You know, just because you're beautiful on the outside doesn't mean that you're wicked on the inside. And then to turn it around, and I want to be very careful here, but just because you may not meet the standards of beauty of our society, the external standards of beauty of society, does not mean that you are not beautiful. For sometimes the most plain, plainly beautiful woman is the most beautiful woman in the world. Because it's not what's on the outside that makes you beautiful. It's what's on the inside. It's that internal adornment. The apostle is not encouraging sloppy dress. I think of makeup as an example. We've got this rust spot on our van. It's been covered over with some paint. Now, if I were to take some paint and just put a little bit more paint on there, is that gonna get rid of the rust? It's only going to cover up the rust, and it's going to begin to rust even more. And so these external beauties, these external coverings, say nothing about what goes on in the heart. There must be something different. There must be something better. And the Apostle says there is something different. There is something better. And that's this internal adornment. He's contrasting the externals with the internals. And notice what he says. He says, putting on, rather let it be the hidden person of the heart. The hidden person of the heart. What is of the heart? What does he mean when he says of the heart? He means the inner beauty, that which is inside of you. Sisters, brothers, it's your heart that makes you beautiful. It's what comes from within that radiates on the outside. It's that hidden person. That person the apostle describes as a hidden person is not easily seen. You know, children love to play hide and go seek, right? Or you've seen with really young kids, you go like this, you put your hands in front of your eyes and you go, boo, boo. And they get such a kick out of that because you're hidden, right? But it's that hidden person of the heart that is inside of you that makes you beautiful. It's what you are when nobody is looking. And you are to focus, not on the externals. but on the internals, on this hidden person of the heart, of this internal beauty. And what is this? How does he describe this internal beauty? He says, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Notice he says incorruptible. That means it doesn't corrupt. It doesn't fade. It doesn't tarnish. It doesn't go bad. It's incorruptible. It remains solid. kind of like mountains, you know, the rocks and the mountains. The solid granite, we tend to think of them as being incorruptible. They've been there for years and they will continue to be there for years. They don't, you know, disappear and grind away. They're there. They face the elements. That's what this incorruptible beauty is like. It is an incorruptible beauty. Our hair falls out. Our gold tarnishes. Our clothes wear out and fade away. But the inner beauty is incorruptible. It doesn't fade away. In fact, it gets better and brighter with time. The more that you know the Lord Jesus Christ, the more beautiful that inner beauty is. regardless of what others say the external standards of beauty are. And what is this incorruptible beauty? It says, with a gentle and quiet spirit, a gentle spirit, a kind, caring, loving, compassionate spirit. that beauty that is to be put on that is incorruptible. And it is a quiet spirit, a soft-spoken, firm, well-thought-through, not a brash, boisterous, careless, unkind manner. Perhaps you've met women who are exactly like that, brash and harsh and careless and unkind. They're anything but gentle and quiet. And do you want to spend time with them? Now, when I say quiet, or when the apostle means quiet, it doesn't mean that you say nothing at all. That's not what he means when he speaks about being submissive to your husband, that when your husband speaks, you have nothing to say. In fact, your husband, we'll see next week, had better listen to what you have to say. But it's a quietness, a gentleness that is an incorruptible beauty. For indeed, what comes out of the mouth comes from the heart. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. And that is the beauty that you are to put on. How do you define beauty, ladies? Do you define beauty based on how you dress? Do you base it upon externals? Or would you describe beauty as the Apostle Peter describes it, as gentleness and quietness of spirit, of that hidden person within? That's what you all should strive to be. You all should strive to be gentle, quiet, loving, faithful, submissive women to your husbands. Because that is the example, is it not, of our Lord Jesus Christ. Likewise, the apostle begins, as Christ suffered, as he was gentle, as he submitted to the will of God, so also you are to submit to the will of God. And parents, In terms of this gentleness, this modesty, this quietness, how do you dress your children? How do you dress, I should say, your daughters? Are you instilling an inward beauty in them? And even if your daughters are no longer at home, are you continuing to instill in them a desire for that inner beauty? Fathers, how do you permit your daughters or your wives to dress? Do you permit them to dress according to the standards of this world with this external beauty? Or are you encouraging this inner beauty, this modesty and gentleness of spirit? And notice what the apostle says. He says, for this kind of spirit is very precious in the sight of God. Very precious. You know how it is when you have received something from a loved one. You hold it in your hand tightly. You take great care of it. Everyone else might look at it and say, well, that's just an ugly pin or whatever it might be. But to you, it's precious because it was given to you by someone who was very special to you. This gentleness and quietness of spirit is precious in the sight of God. He holds it, He enjoys it, He loves it, and He desires that you embrace it in the same way. This is what the Lord looks for. He looks for a broken and a contrite heart. You see, all of us have failed None of us are as gentle and quiet as we should be. And I'm not speaking just to the ladies, I'm speaking to the men as well. We tend to lord it over and be anything but gentle and quiet. So cultivate a spirit of gentleness and of quietness within you. And if this is difficult, and it will be difficult, remember, it is God who looks in the inside. It is God who sees this gentleness and quietness of spirit. Even if you are struggling with this, he sees this and he knows it and it's precious to him. You've seen the inner beauty of a godly woman. We've seen the winning conduct of a godly woman. but now also look at the biblical example of a godly woman. You see, God delights in a quiet and gentle spirit of a woman toward her own husband. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. Notice that this is not a new commandment. This is not something that Peter is making up. This is not something that he has put together just for his own day in his own age. He says, this is an ancient example. He says, the holy women of old, they clothed themselves with this gentleness and quietness of spirit. It is this spirit that was intended in the Garden of Eden as God created Adam to be a help meat to Eve. Sorry, the other way around. Eve to be a helpmate to Adam, that she was to come alongside of him and support him and encourage him. And it says that this is how they were, who trusted in God. They also adorned themselves being submissive to their own husbands. Why did they do this? Because they trusted in God. They knew that God was in control, that God was the one that was in charge of their lives. And so they lived before him. in a spirit of gentleness and of quietness. You see, life for them would not have been easy. Life would have been very, very difficult. We take it for granted that we have running water and we can take a bath and a shower any time that we want, but that was not the case there. We can go two, three, four hundred miles if we want in a couple of hours. It would take them days. You know, life was not easy. And yet they trusted in God. They trusted that he would supply what they needed. And so they cultivated the spirit of gentleness and of quietness. And they adorned themselves with this inner beauty. being submissive, submitting to their own husbands. And then the apostle gives a very specific example, as Sarah obeyed Abraham. If indeed Abraham is the father of all believers, then Sarah is the mother of all believers. She was beautiful. She had much external beauty. Think of when Abraham went with Sarah to Egypt, and what did the Pharaoh do? Abraham said, this is my sister, Sarah, which was true, half true. She was his half sister. So this is my sister, Sarah. And so Pharaoh took her into his harem because she was so beautiful. She had this external beauty upon her, and yet she submitted to her husband and sisters. As you apply what the Apostle Peter says here today, you also are Sarah's daughters. If you follow her example and do it before the Lord without terror, as the new King James says, literally not being afraid or intimidated. You know, this is a mistake. that is often made in our society. And this is what society, one of the things that society just absolutely has difficulty with in the husband and wife relationship. It is that often women are intimidated to submission. They submit because they are afraid of what might happen, of how the husband might respond. Brothers, we cannot intimidate our wives. You need to cultivate the spirit of gentleness and this inner beauty in your wives. And ladies, you need to submit, not because of fear, not because you are afraid, but because this is what the Lord requires of you. And if you are single, prepare yourself for marriage. If God would have that in store for you by cultivating this inner adornment. Cultivate this spirit of gentleness and of quietness. These are always appropriate. And rest in the Lord as you wait upon him. You see, God delights in a quiet and gentle spirit of a woman. Why is it that submission is such a big deal in our age, in our day today? Isn't it because they fear that they will be mistreated? And brothers and sisters, is this true in the church? If so, how can this be? How can this be that our wives and our sisters are beaten into submission, that they fear mistreatment at the hands of their husbands or at the hands of their loved ones. And unfortunately, far too many people, far too many women have been mistreated. We cannot let this continue. Husbands, you must love your wives. You must provide for them a an environment within which it is easy for them to submit to you because you love them and you desire to see them grow in grace and in godliness. But wives, you must also submit to your husbands when they say that we're going to do this. Even if you disagree and if you've talked about it, What does the apostle say? Be submissive to your own husbands with the spirit of quietness and of gentleness. You see, indeed, many have been mistreated. Let me see. Over 17 years ago now, when my wife and I, we went out to Lanzo Meadows, which was the furthest east that there was a Viking settlement, and as we were with this little group, it was my wife and I, and this other group and the leader there, and they were speaking, and he was speaking about how the Vikings were a matriarchal society. That is, that the women were the ones that were in charge. They were the ones that took care of all things. And one woman in the group with us said, you know, that's the problem. Christianity has suppressed women. He said, that's the problem. And I know I'm not communicating it as well as it was then, but I was just horrified to hear that. The ignorance of Christianity. You see, women are to be treated the same as men. For there is neither male nor female, you are all one in Christ. You see, our relationship with one another is based on our relationship with God. And God does not save men in any way different than He saves women. There is no door one for men and door two for women. There is only one way of salvation. And until we embrace this truth, there will never be peace within our family and within our society. Until we get this right relationship within the family of a husband loving his wife and a wife submitting to her husband, that things will change. For indeed, only in Christ is there true freedom. Only in Christ do we have any hope of salvation. Men, shame on us. for creating just such an environment where our wives might feel that they are or have been mistreated, where they are not willing to submit to us. But women, shame on you for not submitting to your husband and doing so without fear. We all must confess that we have all done this, haven't we? There's not one of us here who is guiltless of not loving our wives or of not submitting to our husbands. Because we can only do this in the strength and the power that the Holy Spirit gives to us. See, Jesus, he is our ultimate example of a gentle and quiet spirit, isn't he? Be more like Christ. desire to grow in greater likeness to the Lord Jesus. You see, let your adornment be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God. Almighty God and Heavenly Father, we come before you once again, and we acknowledge how