OK, let's turn to 2 Samuel chapter 13. After this, Absalom, the son of David, had a lovely sister whose name was Tamon. And Annon, the son of David, loved her. Annon was so distressed over his sister Tamon that he became sick and she was a virgin. And it was improper for Annon to do anything to her. But Annon had a friend whose name was Jodadab, the son of Shimea, David's brother. Now Jodadab was a very crafty man. And he said to him, why are you, the king's son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me? Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. So Jonadab said to him, lie down on your bed. Pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand. Then Amnon laid down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, Please let Tamar, my sister, come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand. David sent home to Tamar, saying, Now go to your brother Amnon's house and prepare food for me. So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house, and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his side and baked the cakes. And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, Have everyone go out. And they all went out. Then Amnon said to Tamar, Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, Come, lie with me, my sister. But she answered him, No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing. And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now, therefore, please speak to the king that he will not withhold me from you. However, he would not heed her voice, and being stronger than sheep, he forced her and laid her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, Arise, be gone. So she said to him, no, indeed, this evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me. But he would not listen to her. Then he called his servants who attended him and said, here, put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her. Now she had on a robe of many colors, and the king's virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her. Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went away, crying bitterly. And Absalom, her brother, said to her, Has Amnon, your brother, been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother. Do not take this thing to heart. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house. But when King Baelic heard all these things, he was very angry, and Absalom spoke to his brother Hamel, neither good nor bad. But Absalom hated Hamel, because he had forced his sister to hate him. And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheep shearers in Bael Hazel, which is near Ephraim. So Absalom invited all the king's sons. Then Absalom came to the king and said, Kindly note, your servant has sheep shearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servants. But the king said to Absalom, No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you. Then he urged him, but he would not go. He blessed him. Then Absalom said, If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said to him, Why should he go with you? But Absalom urged him, so he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him. Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Watch now, when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, Strike Amnon, then kill him. Do not be afraid, have I not commanded you? Be courageous, valiant. So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled. And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to them, saying, Absalom has killed all the king's sons, and not one of them is left. So the king arose, and tore his garments, and lay on the ground. And all his servants stood by him, and they had closed the door. Then Jonadab, the son of Shimea, David's brother, answered and said, let not my lord suppose that he will kill all the young men, the king's sons, for only Amnon is dead. But by the command of Absalom, this had been determined from the day that he caused his city to take on. Now, therefore, let not my lord the king take the things of his heart, to think that all the king's sons are dead, for only Amnon is dead. Then Absalom fled, and a young man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind him. And Jonadab said to the king, Look, the king's sons are coming, as your servant said, so it is. So it was, as soon as he had finished speaking that the king's sons indeed came, they lifted up their voice and wept. Also it and all his servants wept very bitterly. But Absalom fled and went to Talmud, the son of Ammihot, king of Gisha, and David mourned for his son every day. So Absalom fled and went to Gisha, and was there three years. And King David longed to go to Absalom, for he had been comforted concerning Ammonot, as he had said. Okay, so, as is my norm, just a very, very, very quick six bullet point recap of what we've done in David so far. So, we've seen David wonderfully chosen before he was king, David. We've seen him amazingly blessed by God, so far, despite trial and misery. We've seen David's strong friendship with Jonathan, Saul's son. We've seen David becoming king over Judah, and then all of Israel, eventually, the promise coming true. We've seen David conquering many battles. And then we've seen the beginning of David's worst sin with Bathsheba and Uriah in chapter 11. And the last two times, I think it's been Bruce and Peter who have taken us through chapter 12 with Nathan prophesying, telling that David would have huge family troubles with children dying and then Solomon being born afterwards. So that's how we've arrived at where we're at. Lots of blessing. and the beginning of a bit of a downhill slide now. So tonight we arrive at chapter 13. I'll try and deal with it as suitably as I can. It's been a little bit tricky trying to figure out which angle to maybe come at this from, so I'll try my best. So we're entering the latter part of David's reign now, and it is far less glorious. I wanted to understand Howland, brother and sister, and I thought it would be useful for everyone just to see it, so I don't have a real fashion thing, but basically on this side you have Andon, one, two, three, four, five rows down, second in from the left, and you have Tamar just underneath, and you can see that they were born to two different So yeah, you can see that they're born to two different wives of David. The red lines indicate the wives of David. So they're actually half-brother and sister, born to different mums, same dad in David. I'll leave that up there, because it's interesting to see in a minute where Jonadab is. Which is just above, two lines above Amnon, three rows down, both person in. So Amnon was David's eldest son. He was called the Crown Prince because he was the eldest son. He was basically next in line to the throne. We should just reiterate what I said once before when I was dealing with David, that David was sinning by having so many wives and concubines. That wasn't acceptable, what David did. Just to make that clear, from Deuteronomy 17, verse 17. So, what is going on here in chapter 13? What's occurring? It seems very, very clear as soon as you start reading that Nathan's prophecy of the chapter before is basically coming true. And David's family is starting to very much creep at the seams. You saw that Amnon can't control his lust and flow of sin. that he was hungry but wouldn't eat unless Taylor brought him the food by hand. The biggest thing to note here at the outset is David's sons are starting to copy his sinful example. David's sons are starting to commit the very same sins that David fell foul of. And as we go through tonight for the next 20 minutes or so, I'm actually gonna make points of application as we go through, if I may. And the first point of application that I'd like to draw all of our attention to here is that it matters what we do as Christian parents. David's example that he set, his son's here, was not a great one in this particular sentence. It matters what we do as Christian parents. That hit me quite hard. Can I put it into another context? You might not be a parent here. It matters what we do as youth leaders. Our example does matter, and it gets noticed, and it rubs off. If Dad was here, I would be talking to him about Eddie, and the fact that Dad will always tell me about Eddie, and about how his youth leader for so many years had such a positive example on him. Sticks with him now, even though he's really old. So it matters what we do. Do our children or the youth clubs see Christ in us? Do they see a fully changed life? Do our children have a good enough example from us? This is a really hard thing for me to write because I'm not convinced I can say yes to all of those questions. I'm not sure I do always set them the right example. And it was a great reminder to take a point of application away from this, about what happened with David and Amnon in the first instance. So let's examine ourselves and examine our own behaviour. Will God be pleased with our efforts? Did you notice then, in verse 3, that Jonadab is actually Amnon's cousin? It's interesting the terminology that gets used here to explain the relationships. In the beginning it says about how... it basically doesn't say that Amnon and Tamar were straight away... or Amnon and Absalom are brothers, it talks about my brother's sister and things like that. And in verse 3 it talks about Jonadab, the son of Shimea, David's brother. Basically they're cousins, you can see that. Now Jonadab, clearly then, had lots of David in him. Unfortunately, it wasn't the good parts of David that John and Dan had in him. He had lots of David's sinfulness and none of David's love of God. He was so unhelpful at a time when he really wasn't needed, if you've caught on to what we were reading. It was unhelpful at a time when Amnon really needed someone to point him in the right direction. He was in desperate need of someone to grab hold of him and talk him down and explain the rights and the wrongs. Indeed, to point him to God. At a time when Amnon's greatest need was that, Jonadab comes along and instead of helping him in the right way, he helps him hatch an evil plan that would result in the perfect opportunity for taking advantage of Tamar. You can hear Jonadab now. You should do whatever it takes to be happy. Whatever it takes. Pretend to be ill. No one else needs to know. Trick your dad. Commit another sin. Break another commandment. It's interesting when you start counting up how many commandments are actually broken in one passage here, in one chapter. You'll notice how Sly John comes up again later. You might have noticed he came up at the end when he's talking to David. you see that Jonderdam is not helpful here in the slightest. And there's a second point of application that I'd like to bring out here. And that is to watch the company that we are keeping. Amnon clearly was not taking the right advice from the right people. And young people, This is just as relevant for you in your friendships, in school, college, wherever you end up. People who don't love God and have no desire for God will not very often give you good advice or the right advice, certainly not godly advice. So our aim for all of us must always be to live a life that strives to keep God's rules, one that strives to please Him with our actions as He looked down on us. And is he pleased? Obviously we are still sinners, but is he pleased with our holiness? Our striving for holiness? Someone who is not trying to do that will rarely give godly wisdom or advice. So we should watch the company that we keep. So, one son, Amnon, had followed in his dad's footsteps, in David's footsteps. Did you notice then that Amnon makes it even worse? He's publicly shaming Tamar. He could have shown remorse. He could have been sorry. He could have done the right thing and gone to David and actually tried to sort the mess out. Instead, he publicly shames Tamar by sending her away. So, David, at this particular point, bearing in mind we're focusing mainly on David in this series obviously, David had a chance here, a great chance, to exercise discipline. To set down a clear marker of God's law that he'd learned in his life by committing his own sin. To show his other sons that he himself had learned from his mistakes and he was going to tell his sons the right thing. David didn't deal with the situation the way he should have done as, firstly, a father, and he certainly didn't deal with it in the way he should have done as a king. Just like Eli the priest, remember, with his sons, and Eli not dealing appropriately as he should have done. It was interesting, a note in one of the resources I was using, that apparently the Septuagint and the Dead Sea Scrolls add a little section here. David would not hurt Anon because he was his eldest son and he loved him. So unfortunately, David had the wrong priorities here. He was trying to indulge his children instead of honouring God. But why? Why? How could David not see what was required here? It seems obvious to us, doesn't it? That what David should have done? How did David not? Why? Why? Why didn't he do it? Maybe he did see what was required, but because of his own failings, because he knew he committed exactly the same sin, maybe he felt he couldn't really apply that discipline. Maybe he felt, what good is this going to do? I don't hold any weight with my children anymore. Another throwback to our first point of application then, about it matters what our children see us do. Isn't that an obvious thing to do as well, for Tamar, to go and see her dad, the king, and say, this has happened? Do you notice that we don't read of that? One commentary actually suggests that that might be because she knew that David always indulged his sons, and often excused their behaviour. It's a possibility. So we move on now to the second half, the second part of chapter 13, and we start to look at Absalom, the other son. So what did we read was the result of everything that's gone before? Well, we read that Absalom harboured feelings of hatred towards his half-brother. Not just for a couple of days. For two years, Absalom harboured festers in his hatred towards his brother. And verse 22, I'll read it again, because it sort of flies under the radar a little bit the first time you read it. So I'll read verse 22 again. And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon, neither good nor bad. But Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar. So it would be easy to make you miss a little bit of significance in this verse. Absalom wasn't just cross. He wasn't just a little bit angry. Absalom was furious. Filled with rage. Utterly filled with rage. He didn't speak to his brother for two years, and he hated him, it says. Basically, only revenge, in the state that Absalom was in, only revenge was going to fix this for him. Only revenge. He had basically already committed murder in his mind. He had committed the murder of his brother already, in this two year period. In chapter 15, we read that Absalom couldn't shake the fact, I won't steal Mark's thunder, Absalom basically couldn't shake the fact, we read in chapter 15, that David withheld justice. He just couldn't get past it. He couldn't let it go. He couldn't let go that David didn't do what was right. Another example of a dad to a son. He couldn't get past it. David's inaction to the first sin effectively leads on to more sin. So Absalom falls into one of David's other terrible sins, murder. Absalom carefully, for a long period, two years, Absalom carefully plans the help that he needs to commit this sin, so he brings other people into it. He planned the perfect way to get Amnon away, because it would have been normal for this sheep-shearing festival to occur, and it would have been normal for Absalom to throw a party. He creates the perfect opportunity. He even seems to have a plan in force there to bring loads and loads of wine to the party, so that Amnon definitely gets drunk. It's probably worth noting at this point that some commentators actually think that Absalom absolutely knew that the sort of sideshow to all of this is that he would be next in line for the throne after Amnon was gone. It's not a major part of the text here, but it forms part of commentators' thinking on the fact that this would have been in Absalom's mind as well. So Absalom falls into the second great sin of David from the previous chapter, and he commits murder. Now, Absalom seems to know that he'd done a terrible thing, because in verse 38 it tells us that he ran away for three years. So, to some extent, there appears to be a pang of conscience, not remorse perhaps, but a pang of conscience. And unfortunately, we'll find out in the next couple of chapters that this wasn't the end of Absalom's bad streak at all. I won't say any more on that, Mark. It seems like David sort of knew that he'd gotten it wrong at this point as well. because we read that he longed to see Absalom, but he realises he can't just go and bring him back into the family house and bring him back into the fold. So to a certain extent, it does seem like David knew that at this point he'd gotten it wrong. But interestingly though, it doesn't appear that David ever had any intention to deal with the actual murderous act. Repeating the indulgence that he'd shown once to Amnon, he's shown it again to Absalom. Well, I won't say too much about chapter 14 because I know Paul is doing that next Thursday, but we read in chapter 14 that even when Joab convinced King David to bring Absalom back to Jerusalem, David actually commanded that Absalom wasn't to see him. And that lasted for another two years, so that's five years of estrangement before we do eventually read that David forgave Absalom. But we read about forgiveness, we don't read about discipline. It seems like the damage had already been done in Absalom's life, and then we'll read a little bit later then into the complete downfall of Absalom. So just briefly then, the third point of application that I'd like to bring out here for a brief conclusion. The third point of application is this. Clearly, holding such feelings of hatred isn't good. Maybe we didn't even need to read the text to kind of know that point. But clearly this is good biblical evidence for holding feelings of hatred like that. It's not a good way to go. Do you notice as well that we don't read anywhere that Absalom's reaction was to turn to God. Not once do we read that he asked God for help to deal with the situation. Possibly I'll throw back again to the example that he'd been set in part. He took things into his own hands. Absalom didn't trust his father, his king, or a god, a saviour. He took things into his own hands. Now, I don't know about you, but I have to admit to being too guilty of forgetting to take things to God sometimes. Sarah reminds me often that I tend to try and do things on my own and forget. And the number of times she says to me, have you prayed about it? And a little pang goes off in me and I realise that actually, you're right. So I'm guilty sometimes of not wrestling with God, and Absalom is guilty of the same thing. Do you notice also that Absalom never gave Amnon a chance to repent? He didn't seek to reason with him at all, just like God once reasoned with us in our darkness. There's a parallel there. And I know it's difficult to think about that because clearly there was some awful, awful sin done to his sister. but he doesn't ever go to Amnon and give him a chance. He never tries to show mercy. And I think it's an interesting parallel to show that God has reasoned with us, didn't he, to bring us out of our sin. So it's an interesting reminder, just to conclude this point of application, that if we are ever wronged, we should remember how much we've been forgiven. It's very easy, I think, for us to also harbour feelings of negativity at times. But we should never forget that no matter how much we are wronged, we have been forgiven much greater by God. So just briefly then, by way of conclusion, just three concluding points to finish off our time tonight. So first of all, can I suggest that we should and must take comfort from the fact that God is sovereign and all-wise. God is always in control. God promised to deal with David's sin and he did. was going to be best. Let's take comfort from the fact that the same God, our God, today is still just as sovereign, just as wise and just as in control. Secondly, second point of conclusion, notice the frailty of us as human people if we needed a reminder of it. How easy it is to fall. Even the great, great David and his family were open to saying of us as sinful humans. Finally then, let's remember what Jonadab did here and seek to do the opposite. Let's seek to be helpful Christian brothers and sisters. Let's not be a Jonadab. Let's look out for ourselves and for others. Our family here in the church. And let's try and spur each other on towards higher and higher and greater levels of holiness. And ultimately let's spur each other on towards heaven.