The people of God, would you please turn with me now in your copy of God's Word to Genesis chapter 33. Genesis chapter 33, if you're using the Black Pew Bible there in front of you or underneath you, if you're in the front or back rows, our text is on page 27, going on to page 28. Page 27 going to page 28. I'm gonna read the whole chapter. It's a short chapter, just 20 verses. So when you get there, or if you're using the screen for the scripture reading, when you get there, if you're able, would you please stand with me for the reading of God's word? If you're able, please stand with me for the reading of God's word. Genesis chapter 33, beginning at verse one. Family, this is the word of our holy God. And Jacob lifted up his eyes and looked and behold, Esau was coming and 400 men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two female servants. He put the servants with their children in front, Leah with her children, Rachel and Joseph last of all. He himself went on before them, bowing himself to the ground seven times until he came near to his brother. But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him and they wept. And when Esau lifted up his eyes and saw the women and children, he said, who are these with you? Jacob said, the children whom God has graciously given your servant. Then the servants drew near, they and their children and bowed down. Leah likewise and her children drew near and bowed down. Last, Joseph and Rachel drew near and they bowed down. Esau said, what do you mean by all this company that I met? Jacob answered, to find favor in the sight of my Lord. But Esau said, I have enough, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself. Jacob said, no, please. If I have found favor in your sight, then accept my present from my hand. For I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of God, and you have accepted me. Please accept my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me. and because I have enough. Thus he urged him and he took it. Then Esau said, let us journey on our way and I'll go ahead of you. But Jacob said to him, my lord knows the children are frail and that the nursing flocks and herds are a care to me. If they are driven hard for one day, all the flocks will die. Let my lord pass on ahead of his servant and I will lead on slowly at the pace of the livestock that are ahead of me and at the pace of the children until I come to my lord in Seir. So Esau said, let me leave with you some of the people who are with me. But he said, what need is there? Let me find favor in the sight of my Lord. So Esau returned that day on his way to seer. But Jacob journeyed to Succoth and built himself a house and made booths for his livestock. Therefore the name of the place is called Succoth. And Jacob came safely to the city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan, on his way from Paddan Aram, and he camped before the city. And from the sons of Hamor, Shechem's father, he bought for a hundred pieces of money the piece of land on which he had pitched his tent. There he erected an altar and called it El Elohei Israel. People of God, this is the word of our God. Let's pray and give thanks to him now for it. Will you pray with me? And so, Father, we do thank you for your word. We thank you that you are pleased to let us encounter you in it, that we hear from you in it, that we meet you in it. And so, Spirit, would you lead us in your word? Open our eyes to see, our ears to hear, our hearts to understand. Cause us here in your word to know you more, that we might love you better, that we might love like you love. We ask in Jesus' name, amen. Would you please be seated? Psalm 133, Psalm 133 opens like this. Behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity. Behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity. The Apostle Paul writes this, he says, make every effort, make every effort to maintain the spirit of unity in the bonds of peace. Our Lord Jesus said during his earthly ministry, this is what Jesus prayed for us, right? Not just for his disciples, he says, he's praying for all those who will eventually believe in him. And he says this, may they be one as the Father and I are one so that the world may know that the Father has sent me. how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity. Our text this morning is a picture of two estranged brothers reconciling. It's a story of reconciliation. That means, as a story of reconciliation, that means this story here, it's a story for and about every single one of us. Each of us, at some time or another, each of us will find ourselves in the place of Esau. At some time in our life, you're gonna find yourself in the place of Esau with somebody having sinned against you. And other times, you're gonna find yourself, I find myself, right, in the place of Jacob, where we've sinned against someone. And this could be anything, something small, an unkind word at the end of a hard day, or a giant betrayal, a gross violation of trust. and friendship, each of us at some time or another, we'll find ourselves in the middle of a wounded or even broken relationship. And our text this morning calls us to make every effort, make every effort to restore that relationship. Some of you this morning, even as I say that, you're right in the middle of that pain, even yet this morning. For some of you, it's been years. Years, just like the story of Jacob and Esau, 20 years they've been estranged, and you know that pain. Others of you, maybe it was just a fight or a text that you got just this morning, right before you come into church. Whatever the case, our text calls us this morning to make every effort to restore that relationship. And our text helps us. Our text gives us several keys, several helps toward that reconciliation. So we're gonna jump into the text here. Be reconciled to one another. And here are three keys to help us toward that reconciliation. Three keys to help us toward reconciliation. And they are humility, forgiveness, communion. Be reconciled to one another. Humility, forgiveness, communion. I start this morning with humility. Now remember the story of Jacob and Esau. 20 years ago, Jacob deceived his father to cheat his brother out of the family inheritance. And this was already after Jacob had taken advantage of his brother, right? He used Esau's weakness, used Esau's hunger, used Esau's own slave to his appetites to trade his inheritance to Jacob for a bowl of stew. 20 years ago, Jacob cheated his brother, took advantage of his brother. Now refined by the Holy Spirit, Jacob approaches his brother with humility. If you were with us in the last chapter, if you read Genesis recently, you see in Genesis chapter 32, Jacob actually initiates this encounter. Jacob didn't have to, Jacob was going a different direction, right? He goes out of his way to move toward his brother and initiate reconciliation with him. And so, based on that initiation, Esau responds and moves to meet Jacob. Now Jacob, there's still some fear here, right? He looks up and here comes Esau with a retinue of 400 men. Jacob here, he still has some fear for his life, right? What if Esau still wants to kill me? That's why he divides the camp in his family. But most of all, I think we ought to see here, Jacob has been emboldened with his encounter with the Lord. Remember that night wrestle with the Lord in the last chapter. That night wrestle with God has given Jacob the courage, the faith, the peace to move toward reconciliation with Esau. And Jacob comes with humility. Look at verse three, notice verse three. Jacob puts himself in front of the whole caravan, right? Jacob here, he's owning the responsibility. If Esau is planning to kill them, he has to attack Jacob first. He's gotta kill Jacob first and maybe, maybe that'll give Esau peace and he'll leave his family alone, right? Jacob doesn't hide here. Jacob doesn't cower here. Jacob owns that he's responsible for Esau's hurt. And we see that by him putting himself at the front of the line. Second, same verse at the end. When Jacob sees Esau, he bows before him seven times, seven times. There's a custom from the ancient Near East of servants bowing before kings. So pastor and scholar Ligon Duncan, he says we have more than 50 examples, more than 50 examples in the ancient world of a servant coming before a king and bowing seven times. Jacob here is essentially, he's saying, Esau, you're king, and I'm just your servant. It's a posture of humility. In fact, Jacob actually calls himself servant in verse five, even though Esau calls him brother, right? Verse nine, Esau says, my brother, but Jacob says, no, I'm your servant. Jacob only calls Esau Lord at least five times in our text, refers to Esau as Lord. Jacob comes to Esau to reconcile with him, and he comes with humility. It comes with humility. Now part of this humility is owning your own sin. Notice here, Jacob never makes an excuse. Never makes an, and he has excuses, doesn't he? He could've said, listen Esau, look, I'm sorry your feelings got hurt, but God said I was the one supposed to get the blessing. Like, what was I supposed to do, right? You know people who apologize like this, don't you? I'm sorry, but... Well, that's not an apology, right? If you're sorry, it contains a but. It's not humility. It's not a real apology. I'm sorry, but is not an apology. It's not true reconciliation. Reconciliation begins with a posture of humility. I did wrong. I was wrong. I'm sorry. That's it. And notice, right, this is without knowing how Esau will respond. It's a little bit easy. It's always hard to apologize. It's a little bit easier to repent an apology and apologize if you know the person will forgive you, right? But what if you don't know? What if you don't have the relationship to know how this is gonna happen? What if it's the thousandth time that you've hurt them, right? What if Esau still plans to kill Jacob? That's what I think is so important about Jacob's pursuit of reconciliation here. He owns his sin and accepts Esau might not forgive him. Esau might still kill him. And he still moves toward reconciliation. Listen, family, there are people in your life who may never forgive you when you approach them with true humility. I said, what do I do with that? What do I do with that? Well, the first thing you do, if the person you're repenting to, apologizing to, won't forgive you, the first thing is to just check your own heart. Are you really coming with true humility? Check your motives. Be careful with your words. I'm sorry, no buts. I was wrong. Please forgive me. The second is be patient. We hurt, and then we get mad because someone doesn't forgive us so quickly, right? Be patient. This reconciliation text in front of us, it was 20 years in the making. What if it takes 20 years to reconcile? It might take that long. The only thing you can do is humble yourself, confess your sin, how you wronged them, apologize, and wait for the Lord to work. Pray for the Lord to work. It might take time. This'll probably be offensive to some of you. It might take several attempts. You might have to say I'm sorry more than once for the same thing. That's humility. That's humility. It might take time, might take several attempts, might take several apologies. That's humility. And on top of that, humility and reconciliation, it might include restitution. It might include restitution, right? Having stolen the inheritance from Esau, Jacob offers repayment for what he took. This is even before Esau arrives, right? The previous chapter, before Esau even arrives, Jacob sends gift after gift after gift after gift. He's telling Esau, I don't need the inheritance. I was wrong to steal the inheritance. Please receive from me. Reconciliation includes the humility to pay for what was broken, if necessary. And I love this. Look at verse 9. Esau says to Jacob, this is great. Reconciliation is a good picture. I'll pay for it. Brother says, no, you don't need to. Right? Verse 9. No, brother, I have enough. I've forgiven you. You don't have to pay for it. And Jacob goes, whew, good. I really don't want to do that. Right? That's not what Jacob does, is it? He insists. He pays anyway. That's the humility here. And I just love Jacob here because this insistence from Jacob, it shows the earnestness that Jacob feels toward reconciliation. He really wants to be reconciled. He really is sorry. I'm thinking here of Psalm 32. In Psalm 32, the Psalm writer says, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I was wasting away until I confessed my sin. Jacob here feels an earnestness for reconciliation. He longs for peace with his brother. I mean, this is just like the wrestle with God in the previous chapter. Jacob here will not let Esau go until they've been reconciled. Friend, if you've wronged someone, if you've hurt someone, if you've sinned against someone, do you feel that same zeal, that same earnestness, that longing to reconcile? It takes humility, a true sense of your sin, an owning of your sin, and a humility before the person you've wronged to confess, I was wrong, I hurt you, I'm sorry. That's the power of humility. It's the power of humility. It's the power of humility and reconciliation. One maybe quick story. I have a dear, dear friend. She was working in an office with other people. She oversaw several people. And so you can imagine, and these are all Christian folks. They all profess faith in Jesus. But when you work with other sinners, even believing sinners, eventually there's gonna be conflict, right? And there was big conflict in the workplace, big conflict between her and one of her employees. So one of her employees makes an appointment with her, comes into the office with a list. Okay? The employee has a list of grievances from this big conflict. Sits down, he sits down, and in front of my friend, he just starts laying into her, right? Long minutes of accusation, offensive described in detail. Here's all the ways you hurt me. Here's all the ways that what you did was wrong. Here's all the ways that I was offended. Here's all the things you should have done differently. When he was done, here's what my friend said. She looked at him and simply said, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. She's the boss. She has the right to do some of the things that she did, right? She could have defended herself. That's what I do. That's what many of us do. Well, here's why you're wrong. Like, let's argue about it. Well, you're wrong about this, and this point is right. She didn't do any of that. She said, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. The air in the room changed. The tensions let out. Pain was acknowledged. The sin was owned. And because of her humility, healing could begin. Reconciliation could begin. I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me? Friends be reconciled to one another. And it begins with humility. It begins with humility. And of course, reconciliation also depends on Forgiveness, too, doesn't it? So we've looked at Jacob and humility. Let's look at Esau and forgiveness. And just once again, remember what Esau has endured. He was taken advantage of by his brother. He was cheated out of his inheritance. And for some of us, maybe that's hard to get in touch with. You're like, ah, what's the big deal? Esau was so hurt, so angry, he wanted to kill his brother. Right, regardless of whether or not we can get in touch with why he feels that way or the context of what's going on, this is the depth of anger and pain that Esau experienced. He's so hurt, he's so angry, he wants to murder his brother. Now notice verse four. Seeing Jacob in the distance, Esau runs to him, embraces him, falls on his neck, kisses him, and they weep. This story here is probably in the back of Jesus's mind when he tells the story of the prodigal son. Because it's exactly how, you can look up that story later, it's exactly how Jesus describes the father when the prodigal son comes home. He runs to him, he embraces him, he kisses him. What I want you to see here, family, is this. Esau forgives Jacob before Jacob has even apologized. Esau hasn't seen Jacob in 20 years, and Esau has already forgiven him. Tim Keller in his little commentary on judges, he says three things about forgiveness. These three things about forgiveness. I'll share all three of them with you. The third one's the one I wanna highlight, but first is this. These are Keller's words. Forgiveness is granted before it's felt, right? We forgive before we feel like forgiving. Because it's a decision, it's a choice. Keller says this, forgiveness is a promise not to bring up the wrong with the person or with others or dwelling on it in our own thoughts. Forgiveness is granted before it's felt. We could talk a lot about that. Let's look at the second thing. Tim Keller says, he says forgiveness is only possible when we see God's forgiveness of our sin through Jesus Christ. You heard Phil Pinnegar talk about that this morning in Our Assurance of Pardon. Our great debt to God compared to anything, anything, no matter how big, compared to anything someone else might do against us gives us the perspective to forgive others. our great debt to God, and all that he has forgiven in my heart gives me the perspective, right, to make it possible. How can I not forgive when I've been forgiven so much? Third thing Keller says in this commentary on judges, this is the point I want us to see with Esau. Keller says this, we must forgive in our hearts even before we try to be reconciled to someone who has done wrong. He says this, this way we won't be too angry in our discussion with them and slip into trying to score points or to humiliate the person, right? We're trying to restore a relationship, not get even. Sometimes we're like, I'm willing to forgive, but can I say something first? We wanna score points, right? We wanna get even, and then we'll try to forgive. Now, the point I'm trying to make here, this Esau forgives before Jacob apologizes. There are some folks out there, I imagine some of you here this morning, who believe, actually no, I don't have to forgive until someone apologizes. I don't have to forgive until someone apologizes. So let me address this. First, of course, as sinners, don't hear what I'm not saying. Confessing our sins is important. We do need to apologize when we hurt someone. For the offender, this is part of owning our sin. This is part of reconciliation. And apologizing, it's a kindness to the offending party, right? It's grace to them to let them know, I regret what I did. I regret what I said. It's good, it's necessary to apologize. Hear that real carefully, right? But apologizing is on the offender. For the offended, we must forgive even before the apology, even if there is no apology. Again, you heard Phil Pinder talk about this, right? Even if there's no apology, right? Doesn't mean reconciliation. Reconciliation takes both people, right? Obviously, reconciliation can't be one-sided, but forgiveness can be, right? Even if the offender never apologizes, never repents, we can still forgive. Again, here, some object saying you don't have to forgive until someone apologizes. Here's my response to that objection. First is this. Jesus died for your sins before you even committed them. Jesus died for your sins and the Father forgave them before you even committed the sin and certainly before you repented of them. Jesus died before you confessed a single sin in your life. And that leads me to my second response. Of course, again, we need to confess our sins. The Bible tells us to confess our sins. That's for our benefit, right? This is part of our changing of our heart. This is part of our turning to the Lord. Confessing to God doesn't earn our forgiveness. It's necessary, right? But it doesn't earn our forgiveness. Christ already died for my sins. And so here's my second response to this objection. We don't have to forgive until someone apologizes. Here's my second objection. How many sins have you and I committed that we aren't even aware of? What sin is in your heart or in your life that you don't even know, that you've already forgotten, that you've never confessed and might never forget, might never confess, and yet Jesus Christ has already paid for every single one of our sins and the Father has already forgiven. Listen, family, the Father has forgiven more of your sins, more of my sins in Jesus than we can even comprehend. thoughts and desires and words and choices. And if God can forgive us before we apologize or confess, then so must we. And that's what we see in Esau here. He forgives Jacob before Jacob even has said a word. And it shapes the whole interaction, doesn't it? That's how Esau is able to run to Jacob when he sees him. He says, my brother. And he lands on him and holds him and he kisses him and they weep. He doesn't wait and say like, well, you have something you wanna say to me? He runs to him, because he's already done that work in his heart. This is why Esau doesn't understand all these gifts. You see verse eight, Esau's like, now Jacob, what's with all this stuff you're sending me? What are you doing, right? Because the only thing he cares about is his brother. That's the power of forgiveness. He's not keeping a record of wrongs. He doesn't care about the restitution. He doesn't need an apology. He just wants relationship with his brother. And then Esau does something really, really kind for Jacob. He does eventually accept Jacob's attempt at restitution. I think it's a real kindness. Now look, Esau initially rejects all the gifts, and maybe it's an ancient world hospitality custom, an initial rejection, but he's always planning to take it. Some commentators see that here, and that might be the case. In my mind, it doesn't matter. I think it's a real kindness that Esau accepts the restitution. Say, how is this kind? He's giving Jacob dignity and cover for his humility. And notice here, I think this is really key. Esau doesn't need the gift from Jacob. Esau's got plenty, right? Esau's got plenty, and Esau doesn't even ask for the restitution. I think that's important. He doesn't need it, he doesn't want it, he doesn't ask for it, and yet Jacob insists, so Esau, in kindness, accepts the gift. This gives Jacob dignity in his humility. It's a way of lifting up the abased. It gives a tangible way of acknowledging Jacob's sorrow and regret. In a sense, it gives Jacob this, this is the kindness, it gives Jacob a feeling of being accepted again. It's a kindness from Esau here. And then Esau goes further. He invites Jacob to go home with him. This whole thing is full of reconciliation, right? This is a full relational reconciliation, not just I forgive you, not just I'm glad we met, but let's at least go separate ways. He says, come home with me. Come back into relationship. The Apostle Paul in his dealings with the Corinthian church, they've got someone in the church who undergoes a really hard discipline situation, has to be put out of the community for a while. But then the person repents, turns back to the Lord, comes back to the church, comes back to the community, humble, repentant, ready to reconcile. Listen to what the Apostle Paul writes to that church. I'm in 2 Corinthians chapter two. The Apostle Paul says this, forgive and comfort him. Reaffirm your love for him. That's what we see in Esau here. In the humility and shame of our sin, the forgiver has the power to cover, comfort, love. That's what Esau does here. Full welcome home, full reaffirmation of his love. This family, this family is a picture of forgiveness. And it's just beautiful, isn't it? I mean, forgiveness and reconciliation are beautiful. There's something in our heart that we just love this. Why? Because in forgiveness and reconciliation, we see God himself. And that's our last point this morning. In reconciliation, we see communion with God. Now we've hinted at this throughout the message this morning. I just wanna be really, really clear here. The reconciliation between Jacob and Esau, it's rooted in our reconciliation with God in Jesus Christ. Our reconciliation with one another is rooted in our reconciliation with God through Jesus Christ. You see this over and over and over in the Bible, in the ministry of Jesus, in the letters from the apostles. Our reconciliation with one another is rooted in, flows out of our reconciliation with God through Jesus Christ. Communion with one another depends on, rooted in, flows out of communion with God. And you see that with Jacob here. Notice Jacob's humility. Jacob humbles himself before Esau because he's already been humbled before the Lord. Look at verse 11. Jacob says, please accept these gifts to you, to Esau. Why? What's the reason he gives? Verse 11, because God has dealt graciously with me. Jacob's work to reconcile with his brother depends on, rooted in, flows out from his understanding of his own reconciliation with God. And this becomes especially clear. I think this is really amazing. In the verse right before that, look at verse 10. Jacob says this to Esau. He says, Esau, to see you, right, to reconcile with you, to see you, to have this communion together, verse 10, it's like seeing the face of God himself. Well, there's an interesting echo here of the previous chapter. Remember with this wrestling with God taking on flesh for that wrestle with Jacob. Jacob says, I saw God face to face and did not die. Now, he says to see Esau again, it's like seeing God's face. Family, when we reconcile with one another, when we reconcile with one another, we experience communion with God himself. God is in that. This is the work of God. God is a reconciling God, and when we reconcile, we participate in the divine nature. God is present there. When we forgive, when we are forgiven, we experience something of the holy, divine nature of God himself. When we reconcile with one another, when we forgive, when we're forgiven, we experience communion with God himself. And so Jesus says, during his earthly ministry, again, while praying for us, we mentioned this at the beginning, he prayed this, may they be one. He's praying for you and me. May they be one, if the Father and I are one, so that the world may know that the Father sent Jesus. We experience and proclaim something of God himself when we reconcile and live at peace with the people around us. That communion with one another. is an experience of communion with God himself. Behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity. Sisters and brothers, be reconciled to one another because you've been reconciled to God through humility, through forgiveness, through communion with one another. we experience more and deeper communion with God. How good, how pleasant when we dwell together in unity. Will you pray with me? And so Father, as we move from your word to the table, this celebration, of reconciliation with you that you, out of love for us, gave your son to pay our debt, and then put your spirit in, I mean, you died for us, and we still don't turn to you until you put your spirit in us, give us life, give us faith, so that we might turn to you, and even still, we're slow to turn from our sin. And yet you in Christ have already paid for our sins, already granted us mercy, God, would you help us to see that mercy more and more and from it extend mercy to those who have sinned against us. As we experience more and more of your grace and mercy, would you embolden us, and I get the irony here, would you embolden us with humility to repent to those we've hurt, to confess our wrongs, to pursue reconciliation, God, there are people here this morning who have lived in a broken relationship with someone for decades. Would you give them wisdom on how to respond to your nudging this morning? Would you raise that relationship from the dead? Would you grant peace? Would you grant courage? It's not easy. It won't be easy. It'll hurt and you relive these wounds and ripping out sometimes what felt like healed scars. God, would you restore? And for those, God, who long for reconciliation and don't have it, we pray for a turning in that other person's heart. For softening. For those this morning here who are the ones with the hard heart. Would you soften? God, would you grant us your grace? We pray in Jesus' name, amen.