Hi there. We're the Democratic Party. We believe that inconvenient babies and unproductive old folks should be put to death. We believe the "government" should provide free healthcare and free college education to everyone, even if it bankrupts half the taxpayers in America. We think foreign drug lords and terrorists have just as much right to come here, with no restrictions, as anyone else--and we want them to be able to vote whether they are citizens or not. We believe that any form of sexual orientation is legitimate--men with men, women with women, men and women with rats, you name it--and that the real perverts are those who oppose the chosen lifestyle of others. We want to take money away from hard-working people who have saved and made wise investments and give it to people who have never worked a day in their lives. Oh, and one more thing: We're the party that cares.
After reading so many articles about scandals in the Roman Catholic crime syndicate, I think they have a legitimate case for removing "lead us not into temptation" from their version of scripture. They seem to be finding the way all on their own.
I don't understand why people look at me funny when I go to the mall with my hat on backwards and my pants sagging halfway to my knees. After all, I "identify" as a 16-year-old. And my goat Danny identifies as a service dog, so why was he kicked out of Walmart?
Mafia hit men purchase goods and services just like everybody else does. Therefore, murder-for-hire stimulates the economy and is beneficial to society. Must liberals view everything through manure-colored glasses?
A recent Trott Poll ((similar to Gallup, but slower) revealed that 87.2 percent of Democrats would rather suck their thumbs than get a job. The other 12.8 percent refused to answer because they thought the pollsters were ICE agents.