One of the adjustments I have to make as I move back and forth between American churches and international churches is the phenomenon in America of the Christian Man-Child and the churches that cater to them. Although not the norm, they are becoming far too common for my personal comfort level.
Characteristics of the First Church of the Man-Child
1. The women and children decide where the family worships: Isaiah 3:12 “O My people! Their oppressors are children, And women rule over them...” The “testimony” of the Man-Child is – “My wife and children really like this church, that is why we attend” or “My wife and/or children did not like the church, that is why we did not join and/or moved to another church.” In the First Church of the Man-Child, not only are the wife and children the deciding factor in joining a church but the church staff know this and orient the church to the women and children. These churches will have “Men’s Ministries” much like they have Youth and Children’s Ministries. These are breakout ministries juxtaposed in and against the decidedly feminine aspects of the church proper. It is a women’s church and she brings her Man-Child and children.
2.The husband is his wife’s helpmate: Genesis 2:18 “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’" The wife, having chosen the church, will, as well, decide which ministries they are involved in. If the wife is interested in missions, then she will do this without reference to her husband’s gifts and callings. If she is interested in homeless or compassion ministries, then, again, this is what she will do. In many cases, the husband joins in as a “helper” in these ministries. It is not uncommon in the First Church of the Man-Child to hear a husband say, “We are involved in the (choir, homeless, missions, etc.) ministry because of my wife’s interest.” You will rarely, if ever, hear the wife say, “My ministry is to be my husband’s helpmate so whatever ministry God has called him to, then that is the ministry God has called me to do.” Or “I am sorry I cannot participate or attend this ministry, my ministry is to my husband and I have to be at home to take care of him.”
3. Wives Are Encouraged To Minister Independently From Their Husbands: Since in the First Church of the Man-Child wives are not encouraged to be their husband’s helpmate, they routinely go on mission trips without their husbands, they serve on committees without their husbands, they participate in teaching, witnessing or service ministries apart from their husbands. Many of these husbands are expected to entertain themselves with the children while their wives do the work of the ministry. In the First Church of the Man-Child, you will not hear the wife of a non-Christian or immature Christian husband say, “No, I cannot serve in this area, my ministry is to my husband at this point in our lives. It is God’s will for me to be at home modeling the Christian life to him.” (1 Peter 3:1-2 “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.”)
4. Men look like their mommy dressed them: 1 Corinthians 14:20 “Brethren, do not be children in your thinking; yet in evil be infants, but in your thinking be mature .” In the First Church of the Man-Child the men look like their mommy dressed them and brought them to church. While the wife is dressed for a semi-formal occasion or “business casual,” the husband and his sons are dressed as if they are going to the playground. The wife’s hair will be “done” while the husband’s may not even be combed (just like his elementary aged son.) The wife will be in dress slacks with hose or skirt or dress while the husband will be in blue jeans, which many times are wrinkled (just like his son.) The wife will have dress shoes on while the husband will have tennis shoes or scuffed shoes (just like his son.) Women will wear makeup while men may or may not be clean shaven, well groomed and professional in appearance(just like their children.) If he is wearing a tie it will be a child’s clip-on tie (just like his son.) We are not talking here about a legalistic dress code but all you have to do is look around in the First Church of the Man-Child to see that the women are dressed with dignity and the men are dressed like their children, like their mommy dressed them. This, I believe, is why Duck Dynasty is so popular with women. This phenomenon is capitalized upon in this show. In Duck Dynasty you have men acting like buffoons while the women are mature, well dressed and well behaved. You have the women dressed “sharp” while the men appear in dress-up play costumes. I realize, of course, that these men are actors but it does not surprise me that in the First Church of the Man-Child these antics of professional actors are embraced as normal behavior by both men and women.
5. Worship Atmosphere and participation is decidedly feminine in nature: Nehemiah 7:44 “The singers : the sons of Asaph, 148”. When I am invited to speak at The First Church of the Man-Child, I can look around and see the women and youth singing while the men stand respectfully and join in occasionally, just like well-behaved children. The songs are presented at the alto and higher voice levels, not the baritone and bass needed for men. The room is darkened and the songs entail a lot of emotional repetition. It is understood in the First Church of the Man-Child that men are to be chided and complained about in terms of their lack of worship participation but nothing is to be done to encourage or shape the worship time towards the men. This is the women’s worship hour and the men and children are welcome to join in but otherwise they are expected to behave themselves. This was not always the case. I was blessed to have grown up in an era when worship leaders in a church were mature Christian men--when the voices of men like George Beverly Shea of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association modeled for men the ministry of worship and song. It was not at all uncommon in the course of the worship time for the music minister to say, “Now on this next stanza I want the men to stand and sing.” And then all the men in the church would stand and praise and worship God.
6. Women are extolled while men are berated: 1 Timothy 2:14 “For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.” In the First Church of the Man-Child, sermons geared toward the family extol the wife while berating the husband. The Mother’s Day sermon will be about the high and exalted position and calling of a wife and mother. It will feature the great women of the Bible, while husbands are chided to be more sensitive and more involved in their wife’s life. On Father’s Day, the husband will be chided and berated for not being more sensitive, a better communicator, not more involved in his wife’s life. Examples of poor husbands and fathers will be featured from the Scripture and a closing comment will be about the suffering saintliness of the average Christian woman. This formula will be repeated throughout the year, ensuring that the women in the church are happy and that the Man-Child is kept in his place.
7. Messages on marriage are asexual: Genesis 1:27 “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” In the First Church of the Man-Child, marriage messages, like church ministries, are asexual and gender neutral. They will be about being good communicators, keys to peace in the family, the psychology of good interpersonal relationships. They, of course, will be a help to the marriage but these same principles could be just as easily applied by brothers and sisters, a women’s prayer group or men’s Bible study. Sex, sexuality, gender-specific roles and the authority of men in the home and the church will not be addressed. The wife’s responsibility to make her marriage sexually exciting will rarely be mentioned and then only in passing. Subjects such as obedience, submission, respectful behavior and ministry to the husband will not be on the regular preaching rotation. In fact, in the First Church of the Man-Child, sermons taken from the following passages and developed as a theme will not be found. In fact, these passages will even be questioned as having relevance in the First Church of the Man-Child. Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” 1 Peter 3:6 “just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” Proverbs 21:9 “It is better to live in a corner of a roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Genesis 2:18 “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’" 1 Corinthians 11:9 “for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake.” 1 Timothy 2:11-13 “A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.”
In the First Church of the Man-Child, these passages not only are not taught, but when it is embarrassingly necessary for them to be read or covered as part of a lesson or sermon, they are explained away and the application given has nothing to do with the first meaning, direct teaching and application of the passage. It can also be pointed out that in the First Church of the Man-Child, spanking and passages on spanking and the teaching of the Biblical and redemptive use of the rod will never be taught from the pulpit, nor in a Sunday school class. These words will never be uttered from the pulpit “Now you will not want to miss next Sunday’s sermon. I will be teaching on ”How To Spank Your Child With A Wooden Spoon” and you will not want to miss this important lesson. The passage of the week will be Proverbs 23:13 ‘Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod , he will not die.’”
8. The burden of evangelism, teaching and missions is carried out by women and children: Last but not least, in the First Church of the Man-Child, the ministries of evangelism, teaching and missions are primarily carried out by women and children. Like in a shopping mall where women’s and children’s stores outnumber men’s stores by 10 to 1, so, in the First Church of the Man-Child, ministries carried out by, to and for women and children outnumber the men at about the same ratio. When it comes to missions, the adult Man-Child is primarily a babysitter, just like his pre-teen children baby sit at church. The Man-Child goes along to cook, chaperone and contribute in areas where teaching and evangelism are not necessary. For the Man-Child, if it is not fun he will not do it, so, just like his children, church activities must be developed around his sensitivities.
The First Church of the Man-Child does not have to exist. I minister in many churches in the U.S. that would in no way conform to the above. The First Church of the Man-Child is virtually unheard of in Africa, Russia and many parts of the world. Where these churches do exist, it is because of the failure of the pastoral staff and church leadership to “man up.”
2 Timothy 2:2 “The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”
By His mercy, II Corinthians 4:1 Rev. John S. Mahon Director – Grace Community Int. Kabwe, Zambia
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