As I was praying through my prayer notebook this morning, I was again impressed by Godâ€™s readiness and desire to forgive me. Especially meaningful was Psalm 86:5 â€śFor Thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon Thee.â€ť
I felt God was impressing upon me the fact that it is important for me to remember that forgiveness is His idea and not mine. God is the initiator, not me. I should never hesitate to go to God for forgiveness. In the scheme of things, my reluctance to confess and repent is never to be confused with His readiness to receive and forgive. The reluctance is all on my side and never on His. I never need fear that He will tire of hearing of the same old sins and frailties. God is ever eager to receive my repentance, my confessions and lavish upon me His forgiveness.
Yet in spite of this I continue to view confession and repentance as my idea and not Godâ€™s. Should I confess this? (As if in His omniscience He was not aware of my sin.) Will He tire of my confessions? (As if He did not pay most dearly for each and every sin I have or will ever commit some 2,000 years ago on the cross.) Why do I hesitate, given the fact that God not only loves me despite of my sin but earnestly desires me to come to Him? The hesitancy is all mine and not His.
When I need Godâ€™s mercies and grace most are the times that I deserve them the least. By their very definition this is their essence, their purpose - â€śnot by worksâ€ť and "not by deeds done by us in righteousness.â€ť When I need them the most, when I deserve them the least, when I am most mindful of my own unworthiness, when I am most apt to doubt them due to a lack of perceived righteousness, this is when I can be most confident of His grace and mercies in my life.
By His mercy, II Corinthians 4:1 Rev. John S. Mahon Grace Community Int.