Seven Biblical Ways The Christian Wife Sexually Excites Her Husband
(Part One, Part Two continued below…) Ladies, Valentine’s Day is upon us and it is time to think about what your husband would like for Valentine’s Day. Let me assure you that the last place your husband wants you to shop for his Valentine’s Day gift is the local Christian bookstore. I do not say this because I am against Christian bookstores, nor because a Christian bookstore would be a bad place to shop for your husband “IF” they carried Valentine’s Day items he would like. The fact is, though, that the majority of items in the local Christian bookstore are geared towards women and your husband is not a woman. The one thing a husband yearns for this Valentine’s Day is sexual excitement. Sexual excitement in marriage is not unscriptural, just un-cultural in the current evangelical climate. This blog will give you seven biblical ways the Christian wife sexually excites her husband.
If it is a characteristic of a godly wife that she is aggressive in the stimulation and sexual excitement of her husband, then it would be appropriate to resort to the Word of God on ways for the wife to do this. We accept there are sinful ways of sexually exciting a husband (pornography, multiple sexual partners, drugs, the list goes on) but there are also Biblically sanctioned (and blessed) ways for a wife to do this. One of the great blessings of God upon a marriage is sexual excitement. The Bible instructs the husband and wife as to how to fulfill their covenants with God and with each other. One of the covenants the wife makes with her husband is to be sexually exciting. This is very, very different from both sexual availability and sexual procreation. A marriage that is sexually exciting is both a reward from God to the husband and a ministry of the wife to the husband. (In our seminars we often ask the question, “If you do not want to be sexually exciting to your husband, then to whom do you wish him to turn?”)
The Word of God does not leave the Christian wife to her own devices but reveals to her certain aspects of this sexually exciting relationship. The very fact that there are so many passages on this subject, which many would feel is just a side issue in terms of the great spiritual truths of the Bible, reveals to the wife the importance of this ministry to her husband. Given the size of the Bible and the scope of the subject matter from the revelation of God to man, to man’s salvation, to all aspects of life and conduct by man, the vast amounts of history, the running of the church, the evangelism and discipleship of the world, the prophecies of end times, all matters of spirituality, life and conduct-- it should be a revelation to the wife that a whole book of the Bible, Song of Solomon, as well as many other passages, is devoted to the issue of helping her and equipping her to insure the marriage is sexually exciting for her husband. In this blog we will take a look at some of these passages as we reflect on seven ways the Word of God reveals the wife can excite her husband sexually and, in doing so, minister to his covenant needs.
#1: Visual stimulation: The Bible recognizes and gives credence to the reality of the husband’s need to be visually stimulated by his wife. The wife may now lay aside her modest ways when it comes to her husband’s desire to gaze upon her body. I hope we all agree that it is impossible for a husband to “lust” after his wife or sin by looking at her and being sexually excited by her. The godly wife recognizes this need and ministers to her husband willingly and creatively in this area.
Song of Solomon 2:9 9 "My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, he is standing behind our wall, He is looking through the windows, He is peering through the lattice. Song of Solomon 2:14 14 "O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret place of the steep pathway, let me see your form, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your form is lovely." Song of Solomon 8:10 10 "I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers; then I became in his eyes as one who finds peace.” Proverbs 27:20 20 Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied.
#2 The Wife Is Conscious Of Her Clothing and Appearance: The Bible recognizes clothing, jewelry and appearance as important to both God and man. Much of the Law of Moses is devoted to the appropriate clothing that priests should wear when they come into the presence of God. There are many passages in the Word of God where God mentions clothing and jewelry as a sign of His blessing. The godly wife clearly dresses as a woman and shuns all masculinity. She proclaims her feminine nature through her dress and, in intimate moments with her husband, beguiles and excites him by accentuating those aspects of her body which he finds most sexually exciting. She cares for her body--that her feminine nature might never be lost through misuse of it as the temple of God. She seeks to bring glory to God through the care of her body but also to be attractive and sexually alluring to her husband. The role of clothing, jewelry and appearance as the means of a godly woman to sexually excite her husband is often mentioned in Scripture. The godly woman is conscious of this and combines the care of her body with clothing and jewelry to be the seductress that God has uniquely gifted her to be in her relationship with her husband. To dress in an attractive way for your husband is not worldly and fleshly but honoring your covenant to God and to your husband. This is true in your public appearance with your husband but it is also true in your intimate moments in the privacy of your bedroom. Again, the wife must remind herself -- clothing which in the eyes of others would be considered immoral, or as a single woman was shunned and disdained, now, in the privacy of marriage and as a part of sexual intimacy, is a ministry to her husband and encouraged by God. Psalm 45:8-9 8 All Thy garments are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia; out of ivory palaces stringed instruments have made Thee glad. 9 Kings' daughters are among Thy noble ladies; at Thy right hand stands the queen in gold from Ophir. Psalm 45:9-17 9 Kings' daughters are among Thy noble ladies; at Thy right hand stands the queen in gold from Ophir. 10 Listen, O daughter, give attention and incline your ear; forget your people and your father's house; 11 Then the King will desire your beauty; because He is your Lord, bow down to Him. 12 And the daughter of Tyre will come with a gift; the rich among the people will entreat your favor. 13 The king's daughter is all glorious within; her clothing is interwoven with gold. 14 She will be led to the King in embroidered work; the virgins, her companions who follow her, will be brought to Thee. 15 They will be led forth with gladness and rejoicing; they will enter into the king's palace. 16 In place of your fathers will be your sons; you shall make them princes in all the earth. 17 I will cause Thy name to be remembered in all generations; therefore the peoples will give Thee thanks forever and ever. Deuteronomy 22:5 5 "A woman shall not wear man's clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman's clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God. Esther 2:12-15 12 Now when the turn of each young lady came to go in to King Ahasuerus, after the end of her twelve months under the regulations for the women — for the days of their beautification were completed as follows: six months with oil of myrrh and six months with spices and the cosmetics for women — 13 the young lady would go in to the king in this way: anything that she desired was given her to take with her from the harem to the king's palace. 14 In the evening she would go in and in the morning she would return to the second harem, to the custody of Shaashgaz, the king's eunuch who was in charge of the concubines. She would not again go in to the king unless the king delighted in her and she was summoned by name. 15 Now when the turn of Esther, the daughter of Abihail the uncle of Mordecai who had taken her as his daughter, came to go in to the king, she did not request anything except what Hegai, the king's eunuch who was in charge of the women, advised. And Esther found favor in the eyes of all who saw her. Proverbs 31:17 17 She girds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong. Proverbs 31:22 22 She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Proverbs 31 is the classic passage in the Word of God concerning the conduct of a godly wife. In these two passages with what does the godly wife concern herself? Song of Solomon 1:10-11 10 "Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with strings of beads." 11 "We will make for you ornaments of gold with beads of silver." Song of Solomon 4:11 11 "Your lips, my bride, drip honey; honey and milk are under your tongue, and the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
#3 A Wife’s Hair As Her Glory: The Word of God clearly teaches that a wife’s hair is her glory and that the care of her tresses should set her apart from man. She thinks of her husband, both his pride in her as a wife and the seductive nature of her hair in her practice of the alluring arts of romance in their relationship. For the godly wife, her hair is her glory in that it proclaims her femininity as a God-given gift but also in her relationship with her husband –it is a source of pleasure and excitement in their more intimate moments. 1 Corinthians 11:14-16 14 Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her? … Song of Solomon 4:1 1 "How beautiful you are, my darling, how beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves behind your veil; your hair is like a flock of goats That have descended from Mount Gilead. Song of Solomon 6:5 5 "Turn your eyes away from me, for they have confused me; your hair is like a flock of goats that have descended from Gilead. Song of Solomon 7:5 5 "Your head crowns you like Carmel, and the flowing locks of your head are like purple threads; the king is captivated by your tresses. (Continued Below...)
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