I have been reflecting since my return from Cameroon on heroic missionaries I have read about in the past. It seems from my earliest memories of my Christian life my heroes have always been missionaries. Now that I am one, I often question my own heroism in the face of trials.
I know that God uses trials in my life to refine my faith and draw me closer to Him. I am though often disappointed in my response to trials ‘til well after their passing. Even harder though are trials that are not on the epic or heroic scale.
For me, heroic refinement is always easier to bear than the obscure and anonymous refinement of daily life. The former is easily recognized by self and more important to my own vanity and pride, to others. The later by contrast is hard for me to put my finger on, it is not easily recognized by self and rarely known by others. It takes place anonymously, unrecognized and unrewarded. I resist it, resent it until I finally yield to the sovereign work of God in my life. My prayers is that I will mature to the point where I recognize it, embrace it and am thankful for it in process – rather than in retrospect.
The great hymn Spirit of the Living God is in my prayer notebook and has become an important song of prayer. It is a perspective that is not often taught but for myself is much needed.
“Teach me to feel that Thou art always nigh, Teach me the struggles of the soul to bear To check the raging doubt, the rebel’s sigh Teach me the meaning of unanswered prayerâ€
The lesson that the hymnist teaches is easier sung than learned and has become a regular prayer of mine.
By His mercy, Rev. John S. Mahon Grace Community Int.