First, I’m surprised we’ve made it this far! There was a day when one would be shocked to hear of a marriage ending. Now it seems shocking to hear of a marriage lasting!! It’s a tragic state of affairs for the state of marriage in our culture. As accessible as our society has made divorce, as prominent as it is in our day, as readily as the reasons are given for it, as normalized as it appears to be, as difficult as two becoming one can be, as easy as the answer seems to be to get out, as green as the grass looks on the other side, 18 years of being married to the same person, with no separation in sight short of death, really is a testimony. However, it’s not a testimony to my wife and I; it is a testimony of God’s grace! It is God’s grace that has kept us, sustained us, given us the grace to forgive one another hundreds of times, given us the perseverance to love one another past feelings, given us enormous patience with one another, and given us the grace to begin again and start over, over and over and over. Basically, God’s grace has been at work in our lives, through our marriage, to sanctify us. Or as I have often said, “marriage is for your sanctification.” But the fact that we are still in it, says something about God, not us or our sanctification. God is greatly gracious, and we exalt Him for the preservation of our marriage!

Second, I’m not just surprised to still be married after 18 years, I’m shocked that someone has put up with me for that long! It had to be someone who would endure me; my hangups, sins, selfishness, pride, habits, personality, likes, dislikes, etc. etc. etc. etc. It had to be someone who would be willing to give me up for the ministry many times. It had to be someone who would support my decisions as a husband, a father, a minister. It had to be someone who would gladly accompany me through years of theological education, trials in ministry, and seasons of unemployment seeking the Lord’s direction. In other words, it had to be a woman of God, and she is! I am convinced that my wife is beside me today first and foremost because of her love for the Lord. She is ever becoming and is a Proverbs 31 woman of God. She is indeed my better half! The half of my life spent with her has definitely been the better half too!

Third, the final thought that stands out in my mind after 18 years is that 18 years is not far enough! You’ve heard these sayings. “If you can make it there, you’ll make it anywhere” and “We’ve come too far to turn back now.” If 18 years is about half my life, what would 36 years of marriage be? Well, most of my life! But it’s not about following a few sayings or looking for a certain number of years. It’s about finishing! It’s about loving my wife as Christ loved the church, wholly, sacrificially, fully, completely. It’s about true love, the 1 Corinthians 13 type, that is patient and kind and endures all things and never fails. It’s about being a man of my word, to God and my wife, that only death will undo what God joined together. It’s about knowing my marriage is not about me but so much larger than my life. It’s about knowing that marriage is a Gospel portrayal. It’s about remaining in the marriage not for what you can get out of it, but for how you can invest your life in others, for the glory of God, with a view to eternity.

Only God knows when and how our earthly companionship will enter into eternal fellowship. Only God knows when and how this two becoming one will transition into two before the One. Only God knows when and how this momentary display of the Gospel will be folded into Gospel, saving reality. Only God knows when and how husband and wife in the Lord will forever be brother and sister in the Lord. Only God knows when and how the joy that this union points to will become eternal bliss. Only God knows. What I know is that I’m depending on Him and clinging to Him for the grace to make it faithfully to that point!

Praising God and thanking my wife for 18 years of marriage!