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RELIGION, CURRENT EVENTS, TECHNOLOGY Subscribe to the breaking newsWhat is RSS?
FRONT PAGE  |  12/25/2014
SUNDAY, SEP 8, 2013  |  53 comments
Pastor Refuses to Perform Ceremony because of Bride’s ‘Sexy Dress’

About a month ago, I asked a pointed question: “Why Do So Many ‘Born-Again, Spirit-Filled’ Women Show Off Cleavage in Church?” It set off a firestorm of debate but sparked a number of other stories and sermons on the issue. I got emails from folks telling me about various magazines and bloggers discussing the topic—and pastors preaching on the controversial subject of, yes, modesty.

I don’t know if Apostle Michael Canty of the Truth Ministries Holiness Church saw my article or not. I haven’t been able to reach him. But the apostolic pastor certainly created a stir in his local church when he refused to marry a bride and groom because he felt her dress was too “sexy,” according to a report in Here’s a segment of the story:

“The wedding scheduled Saturday, Aug. 10, was scheduled for 3 p.m. At 2 p.m., the pastor greeted the bride and groom when he noticed the bride’s dress. ...

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· Page 1 ·  Found: 53 user comment(s)
News Item9/12/13 3:45 PM
Anne | The Wild West  Find all comments by Anne
Thanks Dolores! I hope Christopher understood I was agreeing with him that some women do indeed regulate men to witless perv's but it was no one here; just trying to show kindness toward those we will meet in Heaven one day! Just like you, I see it all the time, waaayyyy more than I ever want to and my dear husband doesn't drool or stare; still, ugh, can't they cover up at least in church a little?!

News Item9/11/13 7:50 PM
Dolores L | Texas  Find all comments by Dolores L
Left out the main part of that verse which is: neithet male nor female..which is how we are in the eyes of God..Anne has a point when we are trying to help each other with anything they see as a problem for them..or me. I didn't see it that way because I have to deal with this every Sunday..and stores everywhere..

News Item9/11/13 4:36 PM
Christopher000 | Rhode Island  Find all comments by Christopher000
Thanks Dolores. I only stopped by and read the last two posts, not reading any further. I haven't been by because I can just imagine what my posts unleashed so, after reading just the last two, I'll just leave it at that, leaving the rest unread. I know I can get a little crazy on some issues and don't want to get aggravated.

News Item9/11/13 9:31 AM
Dolores L | Texas  Find all comments by Dolores L
Lurker, I appreciate your comment which helps me to know that everything is forgiven. I really believe God led me here to learn as well as give. I think your comments make me stop and think and see another side of an issue. I felt so blessed by your comment because I really did get off on the wrong foot. So have a blessed day.

News Item9/10/13 12:55 PM
Dolores L | Texas  Find all comments by Dolores L
Christropher, this verse came to me when I was reading your I looked it up to make sure I got it right; Galatians 3:28 says..there is neither Jew nor Greek, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian,Scythian,bond nor free; but Christ is all, and in all ( that belong to Him). I don't think of you as anything but a brother in Christ and othets as sisters in Christ..SA put the link there so I saw nothing wrong in asking others opinion in all this. There are two young married women who have had on skirts that short and sat right in front of us and my husband still sleeps through the sermons

News Item9/10/13 8:48 AM
Anne | The Wild West  Find all comments by Anne
"Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, LET US LAY ASIDE EVERY WEIGHT AND SIN THAT SO EASILY ENSNARES US. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, KEEPING OUR EYES ON JESUS, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne." (Hebrews 12:1, 2; my emphasis added)

News Item9/10/13 8:47 AM
Anne | The Wild West  Find all comments by Anne
Good morning Christopher! I don't think you were being dramatic at all and thanks for the clarification on the perspective you were coming from, too. Might it be the poster who first said something about the men not clicking on the link had nothing to do with stirring lust up in you "men who can't control yourself" but, rather, was a sister sensitively aware of the desire to help our brothers in Christ shield their eyes and minds from yet more of what shouldn't be? The woman of God who is honestly trying to follow God's commands by living as a sacrifice becomes acutely aware of this issue. God wakes our hearts up to what it does in the men around us, too, and how over time, their minds are forced to cloud over something God intended to be enjoyed through their wives. We know you men CAN control yourselves - you are forced to deal with the bombardment all the time. But, just maybe, we would sincerely like you all to enjoy a place where there is at least some spiritually "cleaner", safer place, even if it's only to argue through posts at SA. Hahaha! I think it was intended to be caring, not demeaning or accusatory.

"Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, LET US LAY ASIDE EVERY WEIGHT AND SIN THAT SO EASILY ENSNARES US. Let us run w


News Item9/10/13 7:21 AM
Christopher000 | Rhode Island  Find all comments by Christopher000
That may have seemed a bit dramatic, but I hear men getting bashed constantly in daily life; all being grouped into the same, disgusting circle of perversion. We are not all the same and I get embarassed when I hear certain things that reduce all men in the minds of women.

News Item9/10/13 7:04 AM
Christopher000 | Rhode Island  Find all comments by Christopher000
Anne Wrote:
"Chrisopher, I am sorry you feel men need to get used to seeing stuff like this on a daily basis."

Hi Anne, I didn't mean that by any stretch. I don't think we should ever just get used to anything. Someone posted that they didn't want to click on the photos link or promote it for fear of tempting anyone. My point was that we see much, much worse on TV commercials, walking down a sidewalk, a random ad on our computer while browsing, etc, so it seemed strange to me that a photo of a woman in a dress with cleavage, which we see on most women everyday would tempt anyone. I just don't like how all men are grouped and reduced into a bunch of pervs who can't control themselves, in this case, over a simple pic of a woman in a dress showing cleavage. I just didn't like how anyone might have thought the photo would have been too much of a temptation for me, as a man, as if , well, anyway, I just find how men are spoken of at times offensive. I can understand something more hard core being shielded, but thinking that photo could cause anyone to fall seemed a bit much and even embarrassing that anyone thinks us men are so miserably weak, like addicts, who just cant control themselves after viewing the woman in this story, etc.


News Item9/10/13 1:06 AM
Lurker  Protected NameFind all comments by Lurker
Dolores L wrote:
Weren't apostles the ones who saw Jesus personally?? He does seem a little strange at that.
That's always been my understanding.
Dolores L wrote:
Oh well, hope both learned a few lessons in all this.
Agree. I hope God calls this young couple in mercy.

Btw, dear sister. I'm sure glad you stuck with us after your first not so pleasant experience here. It's a great medium for fellowship and spiritual growth. I don't post much any more but I enjoy reading the perspectives of others.

God's blessings to you and yours.


News Item9/10/13 12:44 AM
Dolores L | Texas  Find all comments by Dolores L
Lurker, you do have a valid point there..he should have checked into these points before not after the fact. And it bothers me that he calls himself an apostle?!! Weren't apostles the ones who saw Jesus personally?? He does seem a little strange at that. I guess I think of my own pastor in situations like this but he always counsels with couples before he will marry them..he covers all bases. Oh well, hope both learned a few lessons in all this.

News Item9/9/13 11:07 PM
Lurker  Protected NameFind all comments by Lurker
Dolores L wrote:
Lurker, she had to have known their very strick dress code and chose to ignore it..
I took a very dim view of this pastor when I read he refers to himself as an "apostle" so it should be no surprise that I am on the attack against him instead of the bride to be. However, you may be right even though the several versions of this article I read give no indication if the bride to be was informed of a dress code or not.

If I were to venture a guess I'd say the couple were not Christians, nor their parents, or they would have had a home church for their wedding ceremony. This would explain why she had no idea of what was acceptable dress in almost any church.

If so, this pastor failed his first job and the couple may never step foot in a church again. I'm not impressed.

Say no wrote:
Lurker, it's not so far fetched, while I have seen many women as immodestly dressed in public. I had never seen, something like that as a wedding dress, nor would i have imagined one, except perhaps in vegas. And I certainly don't live in a cave.
You've got a point. I'll admit I've never seen a wedding dress like that.

However, I still hold the pastor accountable. He agreed to perform a wedding ceremony and failed.


News Item9/9/13 9:31 PM
jj33  Protected NameFind all comments by jj33
Here is an excellent resource and history on the decline of modesty in the west.


News Item9/9/13 1:45 PM
Anne | The Wild West  Find all comments by Anne
Dorcas, THANK YOU for the encouragement!! I thank God each morning He gives me another chance to serve Him, try again, and with His strength, grow closer to Him. As it says in Timothy "Difficult times will come in the last days" and how we could all use each others encouragement to do the right thing, humbly and without undue-condemnation, in the face of SEEMINGLY overwhelming odds. What a relief to remember "We are pressured in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed." (2 Corinthians 4:8, 9) Praise God!

Now, I need to find out why the kids are all in the bathroom laughing... I think I heard the word "pool" and something about "toilet paper"... . NOT a good combination! Have a blessed day!


News Item9/9/13 1:03 PM
Dorcas | USA  Find all comments by Dorcas refreshing it is to hear of our brothers and sisters in Christ actually trying to live a godly life in this wicked culture.
Reminds me of the verse in Peter.."they think it strange you no longer run with them".

News Item9/9/13 12:52 PM
Anne | The Wild West  Find all comments by Anne
Barry, I couldn't agree with you comment more! My husband and I have been accused for so long of "sheltering" our children because we got rid of cable, we don't listen to the trending music and, prude that I am, I turn some of the magazines around in the store checkout lines if my boys are with me. I stopped apologizing a long time ago. There is NO escaping the world's view, we aren't hermits, but I refuse to believe e answer is, "Oh well! They'll see it anyway!" and plunge yourself into the worlds ways.

"But know this: Difficult times will come in the last days. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, without love for what is good, traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to the form of godliness but denying its power. Avoid these people!" (2 Timothy 3:1-5 HCSB). Question is, HOW do you avoid these people when they sit in the pew next to you...?


News Item9/9/13 12:43 PM
Anne | The Wild West  Find all comments by Anne
Interesting comment Dorcas! I would also add that men have been beaten down via feminization for so long now with an iron septer that should they comment on their wife's or daughters immodesty, they are ridiculed at best, ignored at any rate, and, at worst looked at like perverts. Unless a husband and wife share a common biblical understanding of God's created order, he and she are setting themselves up for heartbreak in the future, at the expense of their sons and daughters.

I feel for this bride, if she is young. Obviously her mother is completely clueless about modesty; who knows what role her father played. Her role models are what then, Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus? Still, she HAD to know what the thoughts of men would be doing when she wore that piece of cloth. What a sad, lost generation. While this isn't new (the book of Proverbs, for example), it just seems to have come to a point where, like you said, we aren't even blushing at the sight!


News Item9/9/13 12:36 PM
Barry from KY. | Northern KY  Find all comments by Barry from KY.
Anne the Long Winded wrote:
...lesson? We wonder why rape is on the rise; why women being beaten and assaulted has become so that isn't publically shamed? We women have some culpability in this, too. The fact that is family was more concerned with the pastor not officiating than wondering about the dress proves it.
Anne, i don't find you so long winded. You are spot on with your comment. I work with Christians every day in the plant i work at, they constantly talk sports, hunting, fishing. They know all the new songs out. they make fun of me because i couldn't name on song that is on the charts today. I simply don't listen. Probably 70% of my coworkers attend church in the area. Baptist churches, methodist churches, christian churches. They are all fully involved in todays culture. There is no shame in things like this. Don't know where it all leads, not sure i want to go there!

News Item9/9/13 12:20 PM
Say no  Find all comments by Say no
Lurker, it's not so far fetched, while I have seen many women as immodestly dressed in public. I had never seen, something like that as a wedding dress, nor would i have imagined one, except perhaps in vegas. And I certainly don't live in a cave.

News Item9/9/13 12:03 PM
Dorcas | USA  Find all comments by Dorcas
Just some reflections for thought....
We once heard a sermon preached that the way a husband or father allows his wife or daughter to dress is a reflection of his own heart and how he obeys his role as the head of the family.
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