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RELIGION, CURRENT EVENTS, TECHNOLOGY Subscribe to the breaking newsWhat is RSS?
FRONT PAGE  |  8/2/2014
FRIDAY, AUG 9, 2013  |  35 comments  |  1 commentary
The Dark Side of Wives Submitting to Husbands?

This distortion of biblical teaching has plunged countless Christian women into depression and emotional trauma. I'm not sure which is worse: the harsh words they hear from their husbands or the perverse way the Bible is wielded as a leather belt to justify domestic abuse. Here are three truths we must uncover in order to solve this problem:

1. Marriage is not a hierarchy. Traditionalists assume that a Christian marriage is defined as a dominant husband who makes all family decisions while the wife graciously obeys without input. Yet Scripture actually portrays marriage as a loving partnership and refers to the wife as a "fellow heir of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:7, NASB). And the apostle Paul taught that in the realm of sexuality, husbands and wives share equal authority over each other's bodies (1 Cor. 7:4). In other words, submission in this most intimate part of a marriage covenant is ...


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Dark Side of Wives Submitting • 810+
Sean E. Harris | Berean Baptist Church
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· Page 1 ·  Found: 35 user comment(s)
News Item8/11/13 8:35 AM
John UK | Wales  Find all comments by John UK
Sam Thess wrote:
John
This must mean that you don't believe that God and grace have any special and unique effect upon the marriage of God's people. Since in your estimation the reprobate can achieve the same result in their marriage. Does God make any difference in the world?
I think you mistake my point, Sam.

For example, you might put it down to God and grace that you and your wife never divorced.

So, what do you put it down to when an unbelieving couple never divorce? Luck?

If you pray for journeying mercies and arrive safely, do you thank God?

So, when the unbeliever also arrives safely, who should he thank?

When it comes to making a difference between the believer and unbeliever, there is only one way that can happen, and it is by "abiding in Christ". It is not by attempting to "keep the rules", or following some sort of philosophy or ethical morality. It is the "life of Christ" within us, being worked out in the world.

Unfortunately, this aspect of Christianity is almost lost in the miriad of ideas and religious thinking, and is the reason for the great apostasy and falling away. I say "aspect", but actually it is the very heart and life of our faith.

35

News Item8/11/13 7:56 AM
Sam Thess | Orl  Find all comments by Sam Thess
John UK wrote:
although it is a plain fact that many unbelievers have good marriages also, and stick together through thick and thin, even taking marriage vows seriously
John
This must mean that you don't believe that God and grace have any special and unique effect upon the marriage of God's people. Since in your estimation the reprobate can achieve the same result in their marriage. Does God make any difference in the world?
34

News Item8/10/13 11:20 PM
tim j | tennesee  Find all comments by tim j
There is a difference in a wife submitting to her husband and a husband being abusive . Its funny how a wife wants the husband to love her like Christ does the church but doesn't want to submit to her husband . We as a church are suppose ti submit to Christ! Just saying a Godly man wouldnt hurt the family so this article should have been named different
33

News Item8/10/13 5:47 PM
John UK | Wales  Find all comments by John UK
Sam Thess wrote:
I have been married to my wife now for forty three years and we have three children. I became a Christian later in life and watched as God converted and saved my wife. Still waiting for his grace on my children. It may seem curious but I believe that his grace was in our marriage and family before we were saved, something we observe retrospectively. And no I have never beaten her, the thought has never been there thanks be to God. His grace is good. God bless John.
Thank you Sam for that heart-warming testimony of God's grace in your life and that of your wife. It is a good thing when marriages last, although it is a plain fact that many unbelievers have good marriages also, and stick together through thick and thin, even taking marriage vows seriously. But the wonder of Christian marriage is the godly lives lived in this ungodly world.

God be with you, too.

32

News Item8/10/13 5:38 PM
Sam Thess | Orl  Find all comments by Sam Thess
John UK wrote:
And I sure hope you don't beat your wife or husband!
I have been married to my wife now for forty three years and we have three children. I became a Christian later in life and watched as God converted and saved my wife. Still waiting for his grace on my children. It may seem curious but I believe that his grace was in our marriage and family before we were saved, something we observe retrospectively. And no I have never beaten her, the thought has never been there thanks be to God. His grace is good. God bless John.
31

News Item8/10/13 5:01 PM
John UK | Wales  Find all comments by John UK
Sam Thess wrote:
Oh c'mon John everybody around here knows you are the uncrowned king of insults on the board.
There is only one reason why you are able to say that, and that is because I do not keep changing moniker like some poor examples of "Christians" who do not apppear to have sufficient grace to be accountable.

And no, I am not tempted to change moniker to avoid situations like this, being a transparent man who calls a spade a shovel, and am not afraid of being abused by poor examples of "Christians" who do not seem to have sufficient grace to prevent their abusive outbursts.

And I sure hope you don't beat your wife or husband!

As for your point, yes, I can now see what you meant, but you have just proved to me that your seemingly good point is negated by your own supercilious attitude.

30

News Item8/10/13 4:47 PM
Sam Thess | Orl  Find all comments by Sam Thess
John UK wrote:
Sam, if that was an attempt at an insult,

BTW, when I say "Christian"

And so I cannot see

Oh c'mon John everybody around here knows you are the uncrowned king of insults on the board.

Christians and grace is precisely the point.

As for God and His grace, if they are present in the couple and the marriage then that will make the difference. As I said to Angela the problem in the discussion below is the doubts being expressed when the couple are true Christians. Some seem to be suggesting that God, grace and the abuse will be present in the marriage of true Christians. I believe the problem with that suggestion is a lack of faith.

The non Christian marriage will rather demonstrate a lack of grace in their relationship. Naturally we should expect that this is a marriage where either both or one of the individuals is not Christian.

BTW John If I may ask, are you married with children?

29

News Item8/10/13 10:34 AM
John UK | Wales  Find all comments by John UK
Sam Thess wrote:
John uk. You do understand that "congregations" should know bible instructions on matters such as this...?
Sam, if that was an attempt at an insult, you really need to do better. That is just so weak. Keep an eye on Presby's posts if you want to learn how to play the fool. He's become an expert at it over many years.

BTW, when I say "Christian", I mean a "Christian". When I say "nominal Christian", I mean a "nominal Christian". When I say "Christian marriage", I mean "Christians who are married".

And so I cannot see why you cause concern that either God, or his grace, could be absent from a Christian marriage. How do you work that out? Do you earn your grace?

28

News Item8/10/13 8:44 AM
Sam Thess | Orl  Find all comments by Sam Thess
Angela Wittman wrote:
if a Christian man abuses his wife, I have to question if he really is in Christ or perhaps is just a good church attendee.
Well done Angela. I am very glad that somebody got the point here. John uk seems to have lost the way here. If so called "Christians" or even nominal Christians are witnessing to the effect that the husband abuses his wife - he is witnessing to the fact that the bible is wrong or that Christians don't believe the bible anymore which is the way of the liberals and the religious people who have no real faith. Thus the question becomes Are these people real bible believing Christians or is the church concerned dealing with these people in a biblical and Christian way. Considering that marriage has in Scripture an analogy to Christ and His church this is an important issue for churches. Frankly I have never come across this problem before in our local churches. A church which does not deal with sin and teach the way? Eph 5:21-33 refers.

John uk. You do understand that "congregations" should know bible instructions on matters such as this and their brothers and sisters work with them to obey Christ's teachings? Who is failing in the above article husbands or churches?

27

News Item8/10/13 1:21 AM
Dolores L | Texas  Find all comments by Dolores L
I'm so glad to be an encourager as well as you,Anne,who as been ablessing to me also and Frank as a Christian man you have been an encouagement as well.
26

News Item8/10/13 1:16 AM
Dolores L | Texas  Find all comments by Dolores L
25

News Item8/10/13 12:06 AM
Anne | The Wild West  Find all comments by Anne
Wow Dolores! Beautiful! Your words are encouraging on a tough day! Blessings to you and yours.
24

News Item8/9/13 11:58 PM
Frank  Contact via emailFind all comments by Frank
Dolores L wrote:
I've been married 49yrs. My husband let me know that he did not ever want me to work because his mother worked and he hated coming home to a cold house(no mom to be there). I agreed especially to stay home and raise my children..4..I felt this was my calling from God to raise my children in the admonition of the Lord..to love him as I did. We all had to sacrifice in order to do this but it was so worth it and my kids let me know how thankful they are that they had a stay at home mom. Their memories of home has always been positive. Sometimes I would think what ifs but God always provided our needs..always!! My husband worked hard to provide and even though he is not a Christian I have never had aproblem with him being head of our house. He loved me and only wants what's best for me. Maybe God gave me grace to be able to be a submissive wife,that's part of it I'm sure..being a Christian since age 12 had a lot to do with because I always understood this to be true..we are still happily married.
Once again your testimony is a blessing to me. Thank you sister!
23

News Item8/9/13 11:42 PM
Dolores L | Texas  Find all comments by Dolores L
I've been married 49yrs. My husband let me know that he did not ever want me to work because his mother worked and he hated coming home to a cold house(no mom to be there). I agreed especially to stay home and raise my children..4..I felt this was my calling from God to raise my children in the admonition of the Lord..to love him as I did. We all had to sacrifice in order to do this but it was so worth it and my kids let me know how thankful they are that they had a stay at home mom. Their memories of home has always been positive. Sometimes I would think what ifs but God always provided our needs..always!! My husband worked hard to provide and even though he is not a Christian I have never had aproblem with him being head of our house. He loved me and only wants what's best for me. Maybe God gave me grace to be able to be a submissive wife,that's part of it I'm sure..being a Christian since age 12 had a lot to do with because I always understood this to be true..we are still happily married.
22

News Item8/9/13 11:19 PM
Timbo Jar | Tennessee  Find all comments by Timbo Jar
I believe wife abuse is wrong Christ loves us and we need to love our wives . On the other hand I have seen wives totally disrespect there husbands in front of others . I have seen them try to control every aspect of there husband and it be so bad that the husband is almost in tears . So I will say husbands are not biblical being mean to there wives but also I don't know to many people who likes to hear a loud mouth bully women who has no virtue at all .
21

News Item8/9/13 6:48 PM
Frank  Contact via emailFind all comments by Frank
[18] Servants, [be] subject to [your] masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. [19] For this [is] thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully. [20] For what glory [is it], if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer [for it], ye take it patiently, this [is] acceptable with God. [21] For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: [22] Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: [23] Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed [himself] to him that judgeth righteously: [24] Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. [25] For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls. (1Pe 2:18-25)

[1] Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; [2] While they behold your chaste conversation [coupled] with fear. (1Pe 3:1-2)

20

News Item8/9/13 5:39 PM
John UK | Wales  Find all comments by John UK
Mike wrote:
Simple is good, is it not so, John? These 2 verses alone, if followed by all couples who name the Name, would solve a multitude of marital problems. The following verse gives example to us who initiates the relationship in its rightness:
1 John 4:19
We love him, because he first loved us.
We, i.e. the church, the bride, love him, Jesus, the groom, because he the groom, first loved us. Therefore it is to the man to first love his wife in the manner of Eph. 5:25. Only then is she to be subject to him, in the manner of 5:24.
Mike, I had to read it through three times before I saw your most excellent point. Yes indeed, brother, you are spot on. It is when we perceive the amazing grace of God that our hard heart is softened into submission and love reciprocated.

Thank you bro, your point is well worth a meditation, and I am quite certain that you are personally putting it into practise yourself. What a good example!

19

News Item8/9/13 5:22 PM
Mike | New York  Find all comments by Mike
John UK wrote:
You're quite right sister.
And if God's instructions were obeyed by both parties, a Christian marriage would stand out like a beacon of beauty and light in a dark and confused world.
Ephesians 5:24-25 KJV
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it...
Simple is good, is it not so, John? These 2 verses alone, if followed by all couples who name the Name, would solve a multitude of marital problems. The following verse gives example to us who initiates the relationship in its rightness:

1 John 4:19
We love him, because he first loved us.

We, i.e. the church, the bride, love him, Jesus, the groom, because he the groom, first loved us. Therefore it is to the man to first love his wife in the manner of Eph. 5:25. Only then is she to be subject to him, in the manner of 5:24.

18

News Item8/9/13 4:59 PM
John UK | Wales  Find all comments by John UK
Sam Thess wrote:
Does God and grace participate in these marriages you describe and if so does that make them better witnesses? Or even with God and grace do these husbands abuse their positions with their wives and demonstrate that God and grace makes no difference?
Eh?

Are you an unbeliever, Sam?

Unprofitable Servant wrote:
Ephesians 5:21 submitting TO ONE ANOTHER in the fear of God.
If the husband by the grace of God loves the wife as the Lord loves the church, then wife's submission by the grace of God, is not a burdensome task.
Quite so, US. When we take the Bible seriously as God's word to us, all fits into place, and the blueprint shown to be the best way, no matter what we humanly think.
17

News Item8/9/13 4:50 PM
Angela Wittman | SW Illinois  Find all comments by Angela Wittman
Well, I think a theologian can best answer your question; but IMO while acknowledging we are sinners, in a Christian marriage or where one spouse is an unbeliever and the other a Christian, God's grace is always at work. But this doesn't mean that neither party sins or doesn't need direction on how to incorporate God's Word into their lives. People are going to sin, but if a Christian man abuses his wife, I have to question if he really is in Christ or perhaps is just a good church attendee.
16
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