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FRONT PAGE  |  5/4/2016
THURSDAY, APR 4, 2013  |  16 comments
Lies Ministry Wives Believe

As a pastor's wife, I find myself fighting the same old internal battles that have plagued me from year one, only now I recognize them more quickly and have tools to combat them. Do you think or believe these lies, too?

1. My identity is that of a ministry wife.

It doesn't take much. Your husband is called to a church or you announce to your friends and family that you're headed to the mission field and suddenly you are labeled and introduced everywhere you go as The Pastor's Wife or The Missionary. The labels so quickly enter the heart, causing a subtle shift from identifying as a child of God, a Christian, to identifying as a role, a status, a label, a category. As our identity wraps around our Ministry Wife label, we start questioning what a ministry wife does. What are the Ministry Wife's activities? How do we measure our performance as The Missionary Wife?

This subtle shift tweaks our ...


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· Page 1 ·  Found: 16 user comment(s)
News Item4/7/13 10:21 PM
Lurker  Protected NameFind all comments by Lurker
Frank wrote:
Hey fellow ember; nice hearing from you. No, I am not what some call a polygamist, but if I went into a nation and witnessed a conversion of someone who had multiple wives, I wouldn't tell him to divorce the last 4 or 5. But, I would insist he didn't become a Christian leader in his community. I'll bet you and I agree on this statement, but if we don't, just remember you are my "younger" brother.
No need to invoke seniority, bro. We're tracking with the same heading.
16

News Item4/7/13 12:57 PM
Frank  Contact via emailFind all comments by Frank
Lurker wrote:
Anyway, we've had polygamists on this forum in the past who appealed to the two pastoral texts "husband of one wife" (1 Tim 3:2 & Titis 1:6) as proof that, with the exception of church elders, polygamy is approved of God. Of course, the phrase means no such thing. What it does mean is that the elder must not have been divorced and remarried but been faithful to the wife of his youth because God hates putting away (Mal 2:13-16). For what it's worth, thats my interpretation. Too funny, pilgrim! But, much like you I presume, I'd prefer to poke fun at myself than have someone do it for me.
Blessings to you and yours.
Hey fellow ember; nice hearing from you. No, I am not what some call a polygamist, but if I went into a nation and witnessed a conversion of someone who had multiple wives, I wouldn't tell him to divorce the last 4 or 5. But, I would insist he didn't become a Christian leader in his community. I'll bet you and I agree on this statement, but if we don't, just remember you are my "younger" brother.

Jennifer, thanks for the kind comment. I reviewed your comments and thought all of them were very encouraging. Perhaps you have that gift?

15

News Item4/7/13 12:13 AM
Lurker  Protected NameFind all comments by Lurker
Frank wrote:
You are correct as usual my fellow "saint". The entire truth is I'm not all that sure whether or not a lay member of a church can have multiple wives, but our leaders can't.
I was going to comment on this earlier and forgot.

Anyway, we've had polygamists on this forum in the past who appealed to the two pastoral texts "husband of one wife" (1 Tim 3:2 & Titis 1:6) as proof that, with the exception of church elders, polygamy is approved of God. Of course, the phrase means no such thing. What it does mean is that the elder must not have been divorced and remarried but been faithful to the wife of his youth because God hates putting away (Mal 2:13-16). For what it's worth, thats my interpretation.

Frank wrote:
But since I can't find any scripture that says I should have more than one wife, then I'm not going to worry about it. Besides, who in the world would want more than one wife. I am already broke enough trying to satisfy the one I have.
Too funny, pilgrim! But, much like you I presume, I'd prefer to poke fun at myself than have someone do it for me.

Blessings to you and yours.

14

News Item4/6/13 10:21 PM
Jennifer Mason | South  Contact via emailFind all comments by Jennifer Mason
What happened to 'humility'? And Frank, you are right!
13

News Item4/5/13 4:44 PM
Frank  Contact via emailFind all comments by Frank
Lady_Virtue wrote:
No disagreement here; great comment!
It is nice hearing from you again and thanks for the encouraging remark "sister".
12

News Item4/5/13 2:52 PM
Lady_Virtue | OKC  Contact via emailFind all comments by Lady_Virtue
Frank wrote:
I will admit that this comment will be divisive and most will disagree with me.

The wives of pastors should simply be wives and mothers and then simply look at life and ministry in the same way any other Christian wife and mother would think about life.

No big deal, but that is the root of this lady's problems.

No disagreement here; great comment!
11

News Item4/4/13 5:13 PM
Frank  Contact via emailFind all comments by Frank
Dorcas wrote:
I concur with your first post,Frank.
Wives are helpmeets.
Scripture is crystal clear on her role.
Have seen to many wives of pastors and elders who think they are the leaders!
Thanks! I of course agree with your post. Pastor's wives frequently feel that way because they have been led by the church to think that way. The church falsely elevates Pastors and in some strange way, that also elevates their wives. My guess is it causes these women a great deal of stress since they are then are pressured into assuming roles that God didn't design for them. Like you said, they should be helpmeets and I will add with primary roles of wives and mothers.

I actually feel sorry for these ladies, but please don't think that I am excusing their behavior.

10

News Item4/4/13 4:50 PM
Dorcas | USA  Find all comments by Dorcas
I concur with your first post,Frank.
Wives are helpmeets.
Scripture is crystal clear on her role.
Have seen to many wives of pastors and elders who think they are the leaders!
9

News Item4/4/13 3:35 PM
John UK | Wales  Find all comments by John UK
SteveR wrote:
700, but who is counting?
Thanks for that. Might as well get it accurate.

1 Kings 11:3 KJV
3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.

8

News Item4/4/13 3:18 PM
SteveR  Find all comments by SteveR
John UK wrote:
Ah yes, the trials of life which Paul warned against. But if you'd seen what I've had to eat today you'd consider yourself well blessed.
And if you'd lived in OT times as a Jew, you may have ended up with more than one. Solomon had 400!!
700, but who is counting?
7

News Item4/4/13 3:12 PM
John UK | Wales  Find all comments by John UK
Frank wrote:
You are correct as usual my fellow "saint". The entire truth is I'm not all that sure whether or not a lay member of a church can have multiple wives, but our leaders can't.
But since I can't find any scripture that says I should have more than one wife, then I'm not going to worry about it. Besides, who in the world would want more than one wife. I am already broke enough trying to satisfy the one I have.
Ah yes, the trials of life which Paul warned against. But if you'd seen what I've had to eat today you'd consider yourself well blessed.

And if you'd lived in OT times as a Jew, you may have ended up with more than one. Solomon had 400!!

6

News Item4/4/13 3:06 PM
Frank  Contact via emailFind all comments by Frank
John UK wrote:
Nay lad, but your lack of confidence scarf was flapping about.
Ha!
You are correct as usual my fellow "saint". The entire truth is I'm not all that sure whether or not a lay member of a church can have multiple wives, but our leaders can't.

But since I can't find any scripture that says I should have more than one wife, then I'm not going to worry about it. Besides, who in the world would want more than one wife. I am already broke enough trying to satisfy the one I have.

5

News Item4/4/13 2:56 PM
John UK | Wales  Find all comments by John UK
Frank wrote:
Are you saying this non-conformist pilgrim was covertly looking for an argument.
Nay lad, but your lack of confidence scarf was flapping about.

Ha!

4

News Item4/4/13 2:47 PM
Frank  Contact via emailFind all comments by Frank
John UK wrote:
Frank, you're preempting again.
Are you saying this non-conformist pilgrim was covertly looking for an argument.
3

News Item4/4/13 2:40 PM
John UK | Wales  Find all comments by John UK
Frank wrote:
I will admit that this comment will be divisive and most will disagree with me.
Frank, you're preempting again.
2

News Item4/4/13 2:19 PM
Frank  Contact via emailFind all comments by Frank
I will admit that this comment will be divisive and most will disagree with me.

I think the root problem is that we elevate our church leaders to a higher spiritual level rather than a higher positional level. The most common verses used to describe our leaders is 1 Ti 3:1-13. Now there is no qualification in those verses except for being able to teach, not being a new convert, and being first be tested, that does not apply to all believers in Christ. What we do is elevate our pastors, whether we realize it or not, to a higher spiritual level and then we pass that same thought along to their wives. The wives of pastors should simply be wives and mothers and then simply look at life and ministry in the same way any other Christian wife and mother would think about life.

Just look at the 1 Timothy verses and ask yourself which ones don't apply to "every" member of Christ's body. Example, I am called to be "above reproach" and if I am not above reproach, then I can't be a leader, but the call to be above reproach is still applicable.

No big deal, but that is the root of this lady's problems.

1
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