AN EXPERT on primates is to tell a court that apes are people, in a groundbreaking case that will determine whether a chimp can have human rights.
Jane Goodall, known worldwide for her study of chimpanzee social and family life, has agreed to testify that apes deserve the same treatment as humans.
The case has been filed in an Austrian court by Paula Stibbe, 38, a Briton who wants to become the legal guardian of a chimp called Matthew. The case was accepted by the court before officials realised Matthew was a primate, but their efforts to have it dismissed have failed....
I'm going to call my senator and ask if he will add chimps to the groups protected by the new hate crimes bill. What difference would it make to be 'legal gaurdian' of a chimp vs. Owner or Caretaker? If one likes to take care of a chimp then do it. I see it no differently than having any other pet and caring for it. Now, when we do get to adopt gorillas sign me up I'd love to have a gorilla butler. Plus they are so strong they could really help with auto repair.
I have no idea why any animal would want the same treatment as a human. In this country, you can be fined five thousand dollars for breaking an eagle's egg, or go to jail for abusing your dog; but there is no civil or criminal penalty for murdering an unborn child. Now that I think about it; on the news, when someone is arrested for the ill-treatment of animals, they try to hide their faces; but I've never seen anyone doing the same, after having an abortion.
Good. It's about time we started sending Chimpanzies to jail for murder and canibalim. Or perhaps because Chimps often kill other chimps and eat them, perhaps we should say that when Humans do these things they are only following their natural instincts. Perhaps Ms Goodal would like to reward murderers with a banana?
"The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Corrupt are they, and have done abominable iniquity: there is none that doeth good. God looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, that did seek God. Every one of them is gone back: they are altogether become filthy; there is none that doeth good, no, not one. Have the workers of iniquity no knowledge? who eat up my people as they eat bread: they have not called upon God." Psalms 53:1-4
Ever see a chicken play a tune on a toy piano? See the David Attenborough film wherein wild Japanese crows executed a multi-step procedure to crack nuts on a busy city crosswalk? And of course several bird species can speak.
So birds must be people, too! All depends on one's definition, doesn't it?
"Matthew [the chimp/person] likes watching TV and videos and playing games like any child, and can use signs and gestures to say what he wants. Of course he has the right to be recognised as an individual."
This describes many Americans! Why not she adopt an American.
Wait, most Americans are hooked on Starbucks and eat way too much food. That would be too expensive. Silly me.