Unprofitable Servant wrote: Hello sc, hope all is well. Proverbs 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls So, yes boundaries are important. But the Biblical principle for winning the lost spouse is one of living the right kind of life in front them not demanding they live it for you. The article you referenced does not in any way address what Christopher has posted. I agree with Watermelon your examples are not in the same ball park as what our dear brother referenced. Things don't always fit into neat little packages with abc solutions. Your emphasis might work for you but not fit another. Your boundary was for Christopher to tell his wife to stop watching whatever show it was. So, the question is, stop watching the show or what? The article clearly teaches that boundary violations have to have consequences. What consequences do you suggest Christopher have for his wife if she ignores (as he implies she would) his boundary?
Great post bro!
You have a way with words and a gracious manner to boot.
s c wrote: I have already read and tested the answer on the website against Scripture. I can vouch for it. I recommended this to Christopher because it is very biblically sound. I'm hoping that he will be interested enough to check it out. This,by the way, "observer" who seemingly is only interested in "being the hero" was supposed to be for Christopher's best interest not as an exercise to boost your "ego". My gender is really irrelevant in the matter. I am a Christian though!
Your gender is irrelevant is it, when trying to advise Christopher? Nor does it matter what makes you think yourself qualified to do so? How very biblical that is. No boundaries required here, eh? And we're to believe that this has nothing to do with your ego? Hmmm
Well, if you've vetted the article, we best all comply with your instruction for us to go off and read that piece of inspiration.
Good question bro John UK. Maybe SC will add that to the list of questions that he/she can disdainfully dismiss.
Late edit: Ok SC I read the article. Care to point out where in the article it says husbands are to chase down their unconverted wives at home by unilaterally setting boundaries?
s c wrote: I referred Christopher and those who are sincerely interested to a website which uses the Bible in depth to address a specific concern. If you, observer, do not wish to check it out, that's on you. If I were you and wanted to be contentious in so doing that I wouldn't have mud in my eye as a result, I suppose that I would opt to avoid it. The main thing is that Christopher will have much to gain from reading it as it addresses his concern and gives Scripture (in context)to do so.
Why so tetchy SC? Can't produce any answers yourself so you point someone to a website the pedigree of which you cannot even vouch for? Just that it's full of scripture! Wow!
You wanted to give Christopher all sorts of advice. Now you don't think that this interaction will help him? Why is that I wonder. Hmmmm.
SC are you male or female? Married or single? Ever been in a mixed marriage, or married to a woman who had backslidden so badly that you couldn't tell whether she was ever converted? Ever been in or exercised any pastoral ministry with difficult cases like Christopher's?
s c wrote: It doesn't have to be in front of a child. The point still sticks. That's why there is demonic oppression. There is a principle of that which one is subjected to and what consequently entails. That's why Job would not put anything evil before his eyes. watermelon, do you put anything before your eyes? Are you the product of cheap grace? You cannot understand the concept of boundaries?
Let's delve a little further. Please define "demonic oppression" and provide scriptures to show how one would identify this as opposed to just feeling out of sorts or suffering from depression. Thank you.
s c wrote: I'm not that familiar with this site but I did come across it and thought it would be very valuable for Christopher and informative for others: www.gotquestions.org search "What are boundaries, and are they biblical?" Lots and lots of Scripture!! Now, since I have answered your objections, answer me this: Would you allow your spouse ,even as immaterial as it is according to the watermelon man, "watch an inappropriate tv show in front of your child? And, if you have no problem with that, perhaps you could give Scripture to defend your answer.
You have not answered my questions. You referred me to a website. So I will wait for specific answers before I answer your red herring question. Actually no, in keeping with your style of answering I refer you to the Bible, which is better than any website, and is nothing but scripture; not just 'lots and lots of scripture". That should be good enough, no?
s c wrote: I had suggested to Chris that he set some boundaries because I suspected that there would be demonic oppression in his household based on the information which he shared. And, not surprisingly, as you can read from his posts following mine, that is,indeed, what he is experiencing.
Your biblical warrant for setting boundaries where demonic oppression is suspected?
s c wrote: My suggestion to him in setting boundaries are not contrary to Scripture. Obviously, an unbeliever will continue in their sins, however, one doesn't have to make it easy for them to do so in a shared household.
A Christian husband is to set boundaries for his unbelieving wife, yes? Biblical warrant please.
s c wrote: I'm not suggesting that he chase down his wife when she may be engaging in particular behavior outside of the home but he does and should set limits within the household and he is t
So your suggestion is chase her down at home, harangue her, be confrontational, show her who's boss. Great counsel sc. Not.
I'll look in tomorrow for your considered response.
GSTexas wrote: Lisa writes: I have first hand experience of police tactics- please believe me that they are not cuddly friendly impartial law keepers One shouldnt make sweeping statements. Perhaps we should wait until more of the story and facts come out before we jump to conclusions.
She does live in Wales, a notoriously unruly place!
ladybug wrote: Christopher, May these words of encouragement comfort you... "Fear not, for I am with you!" Isaiah 41:10 My PRESENT stirs in me great disquietude. Apart from my Savior, I am still . . . as weak as water before temptation, an easy prey to the enemy, the willing servant of sin. But then God remains with me, to preserve . . . my soul from death and my feet from falling and my eyes from tears. By His providence, His Gospel, His Spirit--He sanctifies and makes me holy. I know not which to marvel at more: His suffering for me on the cruel Tree--or His long-suffering with me always. "Fear not, I will help you!" Isaiah 41:13 The FUTURE has its distresses. Peering ahead, what do I see? Many perplexities, many trials and afflictions, much weariness and struggle. But my Lord will go before me. As feeble as I am in myself, I shall be more than a conqueror over all the contingencies of the future, when the Lord helps and strengthens me. from
Romans 8:32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
Christopher000 wrote: ....What do you do when you're unequally yoked and your spouse has no respect or concern for the things that bother you? What do you do when all the evidence says they will never change, probably worsen with time, and shows no interest whatsoever for anything God, other than observing the vain rituals they were taught will save them? I can't even express in words how bad she is, how deeply she effects me on a daily basis, or how terrible life with her is. As a Christian, what do you do when you just can't take anymore? What do you do when your tank is empty, you have given all you can, and theres nothing left to be beaten down?
Christopher, dear bro, I feel your pain and anguish.
Better not to discuss such private matters on a public forum. I'll write you with some of my thoughts.
In the meantime, I pray that the Lord will give you wisdom, sensitivity to his will and to your wife's spiritual needs, and the strength and love to so walk before him as to commend your faith in your wife's eyes.
s c wrote: .....Seemingly, they are unequally unyoked. While a believer should continue to pray and do all that is possible to maintain their marriage, an unbeliever may still,ultimately, leave. It sounds like this is the course that this marriage is set on but the main thing is to be faithful and to not lose heart. Boundaries are good though whether the wife likes them or not. Don't tolerate anything that is antithetical to God. She will do what she wants regardless but you have every right to disallow certain things in the house. I wouldn't be an enabler.
I have to confess to being shocked by this post. SC you are rather free with your advice about matters I doubt you understand anything about, or if you do, lessons have clearly washed right over your head.
Brother Christopher is walking a tight rope and does not need to be told by you what direction his marriage is heading or what he should and should not do in his own house. Laying down the law (whatever that's supposed to mean) for an unconverted spouse, like she was a minor, is supposed to draw her to Christ? Does faithfulness in a marriage mean taking measures to almost guarantee its dissolution if it happens to be a mixed marriage? Where do we find that sort of advice in the NT?
SteveR wrote: My my Look at the heathen rage, and over a letter authored by John Wesley no less. Their hearts have been searched and found void Psalms 9:5 Thou hast rebuked the heathen, thou hast destroyed the wicked, thou hast put out their name for ever and ever. Amen
ladybug wrote: well said Observer, it is SO good to see you posting again dear brother. I understand your frustration with some postings here, you are correct - the old faith has been abandoned. Where are those who desire the deeper things of God?! Who hunger and thirst after His word? I must confess, I fall short of such hunger more often than I care to admit. God bless you, and all who labor for the truth here on a regular basis.
Thank you dear kind sister. Always heartening to know that some still have a deep love for the Word of God, even if it does occasionally wane.