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USER COMMENTS BY “ HEW MERUS ”
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RECENTLY-COMMENTED SERMONS | MoreLast PostTotal
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· Page 1 ·  Found: 1 user comments posted recently.
News Item2/22/13 8:33 AM
Hew Merus  Find all comments by Hew Merus
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Brit-humour wrote:
Beware of Alphabet Grenades..if you throw them, it could spell disaster!
So I saw this Scotsman and I asked him if he had spots when he was younger. He replied “Achh-neeee”.
I want to tell you a bit about myself.. I’m a very quiet and secretive person, and that’s it really.
I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what...Never again
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Can you give me a lift?” I said “Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.
So I rang up British Telecom, I said "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".
So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"
I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue and I couldn't put it down.
So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions".
"I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
"Exit signs - they're on the way out aren't they?."
Phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
The best of Tim Vine?!



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