Carl I am praying for you. I've been there. I know the temptation. But please continue to cry out to God. And also ask someone you trust to pray with you. "I am exceedingly afflicted. Revive me, O LORD,according to your word" Ps 119:107 "This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your word has revived me." Ps 119:50 Psalm 119 has been a great comfort to me in times of despair. Please remember that Jesus Christ loves you and is interceding for you. Let Him fight your battles and rest in Him. Please don't give up.